Semi-Charmed Life
by Criminalmindschick221
Summary: Erin Lindsay was always private. Her past is her past and she likes to keep it that way, but when one of her old enemies resurfaces with a vendetta against her and some of the people in her past, she finds herself thrown back into the world she tried so hard to get away from. The Intelligence Unit tries to help her, but they all start to find themselves way in over their heads.
1. A Beautiful City

**June 12****th****, 2002**

_Chicago could be a beautiful city, it could be charming and charismatic and majestic, and so could the people in it. They could be charming and charismatic and majestic too, but often times…they weren't. _

_And nobody knew that better than Erin Lindsay. _

_She'd grown up in this city, she'd seen the beautiful side, the side that made her never want to leave, but that night, when she had been 16, as she sat on the sidewalk outside a local diner, all she could think of was getting out. _

_Getting out of Chicago, maybe, but more…just getting out of everything she was wrapped into. __Her feet ached, her face stung and she was tired of running, tired of dealing, tired of all of it._

_With a shaky hand, she pulled a small card out of her pocket. She remembered when the cop had given it to her and since then, she'd held it close…just in case. Today was the day she would use it, things had gone too far and they were only going to get worse. _

_On her phone, she dialed the number on the card and mistakenly caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the screen. Her lip was swollen, that much could be seen and her eye was swelling as well, already blackening at the edges. The pain was fresh. _

_"Hello?" A raspy voice answered. _

_And all of a sudden, she felt embarrassed. She would have hung up, as she had so many other times before, but this time was different. She had to get out. Soon. "Hello…um, it's Erin. I'm…I'm in trouble." She said, trying not to sound vulnerable. _

_It didn't work. _

_But he had only asked her one question, "Where are you?"_

_"I'm outside Glenn's Diner." She said, looking at the restaurant that she was sitting in front of. There were people eating inside and they watched her with sympathy and a little bit of wariness, like she was an animal inside a zoo. "It's off of North Western Avenue." She added. _

_He paused, "I know the place. I'm on my way."_

_And then he hung up. _

_Blunt, she thought. But it was appreciated. She looked at the time on her phone, it was 1:15 AM and he was coming for her? Not many people would do that. Then again, not many people would offer to help her get out either. _

_She was just his CI, he didn't have to do anything for her. He could have just gotten information, exchanged money and walked away, but he hadn't. _

_Erin wiped the tears off her face, wanting to look somewhat presentable when the cop showed up even though she knew that if the story came up, she would end up crying again anyway._

_After 10 minutes, a car rolled up and parked in front of her. She got up slowly and walked over to it, trying to hide her limp. Carefully, she pulled the door open and got in. _

_When she was inside, Voight stared at her. He didn't look surprised, "What happened? Is this about the-"_

_"Yes." Erin answered before he could even say it, "The bust you made yesterday…those guys were somewhat associates of Charlie. They were planning to do some trading and Charlie was going to organize a deal with them to import some coke. But then the bust happened and he…he lost it. He said he was going down. He said __**we**__ were going down because Charlie owes money to Ramirez. He said they were coming and that they were trying to kill us. And Charlie was frustrated, he wasn't ready to go down so he…" She trailed off. _

_Voight nodded, examining her. "I see a black eye, busted lip, what else?" He asked. _

_She glanced down, "I think I sprained my ankle. When he hit me, I fell and twisted it. And I think my hand his broken, or maybe just the fingers. He stepped on it when he was leaving..."_

_"That bastard." Voight muttered under his breath before turning back to her, "So…what? You need me to take you to the hospital or…?"_

_"I want to get out."_

_Voight raised his eyebrows, "You do?" He had to be sure. _

_She nodded slowly, "I can't…I can't do this anymore. After…after you gave me your card, I started thinking. I couldn't remember the last time someone believed in me like you had, I couldn't remember the last time I believed in myself. I want to get out…so I can have a reason to believe in myself again. " She said firmly. _

_Voight nodded, a sideways smile coming to his face. "You want to get out." He repeated, "Well…I don't exactly have anywhere to take you right now, but in a few days I can get someone to-"_

_"No, not a few days." Erin said, "Charlie says Ramirez is looking for us right now. They know I'm his partner or whatever I am. They're looking for me and Charlie. He was thinking about running. That was why he started…" She couldn't say it out loud, "He said if he was going to run, he couldn't take me…so I guess he was going to leave me there for Ramirez to find. But I got up and left...I don't know how."_

_Voight looked at her, "I know how. It's because you're strong." He said firmly, "Now, where did Charlie say he was going?"_

_"He didn't." _

_Voight nodded slowly, "Where would he go if he was trying to tie up loose ends?" He asked, thinking out loud. He looked out the window, hoping maybe that would help give him an idea. _

_"He might be going to Drake's place. They're still pretty close." Erin said softly, referring to Drake, one of Charlie's close associates. "He might be going there."_

_Voight nodded, "Where is it?"_

_"55th. Drive there and I'll tell you when to stop." She said._

_Voight nodded and started driving, well speeding. "So you need to get out tonight." He said, "That's alright. You can stay with me for a week or so while I find someone to take you in."_

_Erin nodded, "Thank you." She said with a small smile. _

_"Can I ask how you got wrapped up with Charlie in the first place? I only ever knew you as my CI, but I always thought you didn't seem like the type to be in that business. That's why I gave you my card." Voight told her. _

_Erin shrugged and looked out the window, "My mom was a junkie. And so was I, it was in the family. I was born into the crowd and…I fell in love with Charlie. And then I found out who he was and what he did, but I guess…I thought I would just be the girl on the sidelines, getting high and getting money. That didn't happen. I got pulled into it, quick. Since then, I've only gotten in deeper."_

_Voight nodded slowly, "Well now you're getting out. And once you're out, you're out." He said. _

_Erin smiled a little bit, "Thank you, Voight." She said softly, "This means a lot, even if you did arrest me three times." _

_Voight smirked, eyes on the road. "Three times out of five, total. Trust me, you were better off with me then some other moron." He paused, "And don't worry about it. If you want to get out, I'm glad to help in any way I can."_

_Erin nodded and looked up as they turned onto 55th. They drove for a few minutes and then she spoke, "It's that one." She pointed, "The brown apartment building. And he lives in 2C."_

_Voight quickly put the car in park, staring up at the building. "I'll be right back." He looked angry. _

_"Wait, what are you going to do?" _

_He stopped, already halfway out the car. "I'm just going to go have a talk with Charlie and Drake." He said with a shrug. _

_But Erin knew what that meant so she grabbed his arm before he could leave, "Wait. You can't kill him, please. He may be a selfish bastard, but he shouldn't die." She said seriously, "He shouldn't."_

_"Why?" Voight shook his head, "Scum is what he is and I can't stand having him living one more day in this city."_

_Tears came to her eyes. "Please, Voight, please don't." She pleaded, looking into his eyes. _

_He paused, staring down at her and after a few seconds he pulled out of her grasp. "You can call me Hank." He said before getting out of the car, shutting the door and walking into the building. _

_Erin wasn't comforted. She was almost sure that Charlie was dying, because of her and she didn't want that. She wondered how long it would take. Would he resist? Or would he let it happen? He was already a dead man. Either way she expected it would be a long time. _

_But in reality, Voight came back out a few minutes later, holding Charlie by the back of his jacket. He brought him over to the car and motioned for Erin to roll down the window. _

_She did. _

_Charlie looked like a train wreck, his face was bloody and she could see he was favoring his right arm. It was probably broken. He looked at her, "Help me." He tried weakly. _

_She wanted to, she really did, but Voight beat her to it. _

_"Oh, that's not what we rehearsed Charlie." He flipped Charlie over and punched him in the stomach, "Apologize or next time I won't be so gentle."_

_Panting, Charlie turned around and leaned in the window towards Erin. "I'm sorry Erin, I panicked and you got caught in the crossfire. I did love you, I really did, but I was high…and I got scared. So I'm sorry."_

_She nodded slowly, not wanting to look at him. _

_Voight turned him around again, "That's good, very nice. Now, you will do what we discussed. You will get out of town, you will never contact Erin again and never return to Chicago again. If I so much as hear you're thinking about coming back, I will find you and trust me, the punishment will be much worse than this cake walk you went through tonight. Are we clear?"_

_Charlie nodded slowly, "Yes."_

_"Good, now get out of here before I change my mind." He said harshly, letting Charlie go and walking back over to the driver's side of the car. _

_Charlie could barely stand on his own, but using the wall for support, he made his way down the street, casting one last look at the car where Voight and Erin were sitting. _

_Voight saw him look back, "Don't look at him." He told Erin, "It gives him power. And don't let him see you cry, hold your head up."_

_And she did._

_But once they passed Charlie and started the drive to Voight's house, she let it out because for once, because she was with Voight, she felt like she could. _

**Present - 6:30 AM**

Erin woke that morning to the sound of her alarm beeping obnoxiously in her ear. She yawned and quickly turned it off. And after a few more seconds procrastinating in bed, she finally got up and started to get ready.

She was leaving her house at 7:00 AM and she had to be at work by 7:30 so she was making good time until she opened her door and saw a letter sitting outside on the ground. She had almost stepped on it, but luckily she spotted it just before she had. Slowly, she picked it up. On the front of the envelope, written in sloppy handwriting, was her name.

_Erin Lindsay._

So she opened it. And as she scanned the page, her face paled.

She needed to talk to Voight right away.

The drive down to the precinct was 20 minutes at the least, but she sped and did her best to get there as quickly as she could. At 7:15, she was pulling into the parking lot. Quickly with the letter in her pocket, she entered the precinct.

Erin passed Sergeant Platt without saying anything and walked up the stairs to Intelligence. She thought everyone was already there, but when she walked to Voight's office, it was empty. She turned around and looked at Jay, who was standing nearby. "Where's Voight?" She asked.

"Talking to a CI. We have a case – they found a body outside an old apartment building on West Roosevelt Street and another body a few days later outside Fullerton Hotel. Both connected back to the recently released Emilio Chavez." Jay explained quickly. "Voight thinks he might be picking off snitches."

Erin nodded slowly, touching the letter in her pocket uneasily. "So what does he want us to do?" She asked.

"Well," Jay started, "Ruzek and Olinsky already left to do a stake out outside of a warehouse where Chavez is thought to be residing, but Voight said that Chavez was associated with Derek Briggs, an old CI of Voight's that used to have a lot of information about Chavez and still might. He said we should go talk to him."

Briggs. She knew that name, his son. She knew his son, one of Charlie's old friends. Hopefully, he wouldn't recognize her name. Maybe she would just avoid telling it to him.

Erin nodded, "Okay." She said quietly, "Just give me a second." She walked back over to her desk and slipped the letter into the drawer of her desk, hoping that Jay wouldn't notice.

But he did.

"What was that?" He asked, noticing how secretive she was trying to be about whatever it was. As he listened for her answer, he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and started to put it on.

Erin looked up, thinking up something quickly. "Something I need to show Voight." She said vaguely, at least it was the truth. She hated lying to Jay, they were partners, supposed to trust each other. Lying to him just didn't feel right.

Jay nodded, narrowing his eyes playfully as they walked out the building. "Oh are those your bills? Is that how you afford that nice apartment, you get daddy to pay for it?" He asked, chuckling.

Erin cracked a smile for the first time that day, "Yea I wish." She muttered, rolling her eyes before turning around to face him quickly, "And he's not my dad." She said and then turned back around to keep walking.

"Likely story." Jay mumbled as he followed her.

They walked out of the building together and out to the car, where Erin got into the driver's side like always. Jay found that comforting, he had sensed that something was wrong with her, but at least she was still driving. He knew that if she ever wanted him to drive then something was really wrong.

But something _was_ really wrong. Erin was just trying her best not to wrap other people up in her problems, especially Jay. If she could just make it through this day and eventually confide in Voight, then everything could be fine or at least better than it was.

They drove in silence, which was weird and uncomfortable, but Erin would rather have this time to think about things than waste it with small talk.

And then out of nowhere, "Are you okay?" Jay asked, wanting to address the problem before they got to their destination. He knew his partner, he knew Erin. And something was wrong, he just didn't know what.

Erin glanced at him and then pretended to concentrate on her driving. Was her uneasiness really that obvious? She nodded to his question and gave him a half-hearted smile, "Just tired."

He narrowed his eyes, not believing it. "The last time you were like this was when Charlie was around. I know he had a lot of contacts in the city. None of them are…bothering you, are they?"

Erin was touched by his concern. "No, they're not. I promise I'm just tired."

Jay gave her a crooked smile and nodded, accepting that answer temporarily. He would ask again later and maybe then, she would tell him the truth.

A few silent minutes later, they arrived at the convenient store where Derek Briggs worked. It was small and looked very sloppy, like not a lot of the budget was put into its up-keep. But then again, in this part of town, the look of a store didn't matter. It was more about what they sold and how much they sold it for. And that was the appeal of that convenient store – it was cheap.

Erin and Jay walked inside slowly to find the store almost empty except for two people: the cashier, who was standing near the register, counting money and another employee in the back of the store, sweeping.

The cashier looked up as they approached and immediately looked suspicious, "Can I help you?" He asked, already knowing who they were. He could see Jay's badge clipped to his jeans.

Jay nodded quickly, "CPD." He flashed his badge before re-clipping it to his pants. "We're looking for Derek Briggs."

Erin was glad that Jay didn't mention their names because she knew that Briggs would remember her name if he heard it.

The cashier smirked and held his hand out across the counter, "Derek Briggs." He said, shaking both Jay and Erin's hands, "Pleased to make your acquaintance. What can I do for you? I promise I have a business license."

Erin stepped forward, "This isn't about your establishment, Mr. Briggs. This is about information. Voight said you might know something about the hits at The Fulllerton Hotel and outside an apartment building on West Roosevelt." She said quickly, not wanting to spend a lot of time here.

The man stared at her for a long time, "Why didn't Voight come to talk to me himself?" He asked, obviously still suspicious of them.

"He's doing some other research for the case. We're kind of low on man power so…he sent us." Jay lied easily. It didn't seem smart to tell him that Voight was busy talking to a different CI that he thought would have more significant information pertaining to the case.

Briggs didn't look convinced though. "How do I even know Voight sent you?" He asked, shaking his head. It was becoming apparent quickly that he wasn't going to trust them with his information without Voight.

But then Erin got an idea. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing if Briggs remembered her.

"Mr. Briggs, I don't know if you remember me or if Kevin ever talked about me, but my name is Erin Lindsay and-" She was cut off.

Briggs shook his head, "Erin Lindsay? Kevin ran his mouth about you like no tomorrow." He smirked, "I did meet you once too…but you probably don't remember it."

Erin smiled slightly, "Charlie's birthday. You came by and gave him a present. I remember."

Jay gave Erin a curious look, unsure of what was happening.

Briggs chuckled lightly, "You look like you've grown up. And a cop too? Who would've thought? Last time I heard about you was when-"

Erin shook her head and cut him off before he could continue. "Yea, I don't really like to talk about my past that much anymore. But I don't know if you heard, Voight took me in and cleaned me up. That's how I ended up a cop. And now I work for him. It's crazy, but I love it."

Briggs nodded slowly, eyeing Jay for a moment before continuing, "Well if you say Voight sent you then I believe it. What do you need to know?"

That was when Jay joined the conversation again, "Do you know a man named Emilio Chavez?"

Briggs glanced at Erin and then nodded slowly, "I did. My son, Kevin, used to trade with him. Chavez would give him any drugs he wanted if Kevin supplied him with guns and ammo, which he got from somewhere in Mexico. I didn't really ask questions."

"And what about now? Is Kevin still trading with him?" Erin asked.

Briggs shrugged, "My son and I don't really talk that much anymore, but I do hear things from my buddies and they're saying that my boy is on his list, that apparently Chavez is hunting down anyone associated with the take down that put him in jail."

And then Briggs made eye contact with Erin, he knew. He knew about her letter, Kevin had probably received one too.

She felt like she was going to throw up. She glanced at Jay before turning and rushing out of the convenient store. Once outside, she leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths to calm herself before Jay followed her out.

A few moments later, Jay walked out the door. "Uh, what the hell?" He asked, shaking his head. "Two things. First, you knew that guy and you didn't tell me. What if he turned out to be an enemy and I had mentioned your name? You could have gotten us both killed."

"But I didn't." She said, meeting his eyes.

Jay shook his head, not letting it go. "And second," he continued, "you just walked out in the middle of a conversation? What is going on with you? We're partners, Erin and you can trust me. What is going on?" He asked, giving her a very serious look.

She wanted to tell him, she really did. But she couldn't.

"I knew Kevin." She said quietly, "We were friends when I was young, good friends and…just hearing that he was in trouble, that maybe he is about to get killed...I just needed a second and I'm sorry." She lied, "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Briggs too."

Jay let out a sigh, "Is your past really so bad that you can't let me in at all?" He asked loudly, frustrated.

"It's bad, Jay. Is that what you want to hear?" Erin said, looking at the ground, "I've worked so hard to get past it, so hard to make something of myself and I'm not going to throw that all away just because you want to know why Voight gives me more attention than you." She snapped.

Jay paused for a moment, "That's not why I want to know." He said, softly. "I want to know because I care about you…"

That got her attention, but it didn't persuade her. "It's nothing, nothing right now. But the moment it becomes something, after Voight, you'll be the first to know, okay?" She paused, "I'm sorry again."

Jay let a few moments pass and then he replied, "After Voight, still? Come on…."

Erin smirked and walked towards the car, twirling the keys between her fingers, "Let's go." She said as climbed into the driver's seat.

"Such a tease…" Jay said as he got into the passenger's seat next to her. And as they pulled out of the spot, his phone rang. He spoke on it for a few moments and then hung up to explain. "It was Olinsky. They got a lead on a Juan Lopez. They think he's the source of Chavez' coke supply and they got a CI to tell Lopez that we were working with Jerry Porter, another guy who gets coke from Lopez. We're supposed to say we're Jones and Harrison because that's who Lopez is expecting. Ruzek and Olinsky are gonna cover us while Antonio and Atwater listen on standby."

"What about Voight?" Erin asked.

Jay shrugged, "Still talking to his CI."

Erin nodded, "So where am I going?" She asked.

Jay looked down at his phone and read out the address Olinsky had texted to him.

Erin knew the street and easily navigated her way there, but didn't park too close to the house they were going in. They got out, put their vests on underneath their clothes, put wires on and walked down the street to the designated house.

Erin looked up. In the seconds she had spent glancing at the rooftops, she could see a pair of binoculars peeking over the edge of a rooftop a few houses away, but it wouldn't be noticeable to someone who wasn't looking.

Jay knocked loudly on the door, confidently.

Someone answered, only opening the door a crack. "Who are you?" The person asked, Spanish accent heavy.

"We're here to pick up for Porter." Jay said, keeping it short and to the point. That was usually how these guys liked it.

The guy stared at him, "Names."

"Wyatt Jones." Jay said as he pointed to himself. "And this is my girl, Grace Harrison. Like I said, we're here to pick up for Porter. We're already behind schedule and he doesn't like to be kept waiting." He said in a rushed tone.

The man stared at them for a few more moment and then opened it the rest of the way. "Venga." He said quickly before turning and walking into the house.

Venga was Spanish for come.

So they did.

The followed the man through the hallway, up the stairs and into a room where another man was seated on the couch. There were many chairs in front of him, but they purposely sat in the chairs near the window where Ruzek and Olinsky would be able to see them.

"Jones and Harrison?" The man seated on the couch asked.

Jay nodded, "Jones." He pointed to himself, "And Harrison." He pointed to Erin quickly, "Are you Lopez?"

The man smiled, "Sí." He said with a nod, "I am Juan and this is Jorge, my personal security guard. In this line of work, you really need one." He said.

"Understandable." Erin said with a smile.

Juan turned to look at her, "Harrison, a woman? No offense, but I don't really see a lot of women this high up in the chain." He smirked, "Most men think they're harder to read, more seductive, manipulative."

Erin leaned forward, "Maybe that's an advantage." She said, the words rolling out of her mouth alluringly.

Juan smiled a little bit, "Cute." He said before turning back to Jay, "So you're here for Porter's usual load?" He stood up, "Follow me."

The followed Juan and Jorge into the next room. Inside, there was a third man, but his back was turned when they walked in. On a table in the center of the room was a large package of coke.

Jay took a bag off his shoulder and easily loaded the package of coke into the bag while Erin stood toward the back of the room, watching.

"Bonita." Juan said from where he was standing next to Erin, "You speak Spanish, chica?"

Erin did, but she didn't want him to know that. "A little from high school. I know what bonita means though." She smiled, "Gracias."

Juan nodded slowly, "That Spanish is good enough for me. What do you say to sticking around here for a while? I'm sure Jones can take the load to Porter and then come back for you later." He smiled, "I'd really like to teach you more Spanish."

Erin didn't like the look in his eyes. "No, I don't think I can. Porter is expecting both of us back. If I wasn't with Jones, he would think something was wrong." She said with a shrug and a smile, "Lo ciento."

Juan shook his head, "Didn't your parents ever teach you that it was impolite to turn down a generous offer?" He touched her arm, "I'll call Porter. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." He grabbed her arm and held it.

Erin looked at him for a moment and then pulled her arm roughly out of his grasp, "I don't think so. Come on, Jones, we're out of here. Porter's waiting." She said, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

And they would have.

But as Jay turned around to face Lindsay, so did the third man who had already been in the room when they walked in. And before anyone could react, that third man pulled a gun.

Erin was facing him so she saw it first, "Hey, what are you-"

But she didn't get to finish.

The man, whose name she never found out, fired two shots at her. One hit her in the vest right above her heart and then second hit her shoulder in a place where the vest didn't reach. The force from the second shot caused her to fall backwards onto the rough, hard-wood floor.

In her earpiece, she heard the rest of the unit talking.

"Everybody go!" It was Antonio's voice.

And then she heard Olinsky's. He was calling it in. "Shots fired, requesting immediate back up and EMTs to 3125 North Jefferson Street. Officer down. I repeat, officer down, 3125 North Jefferson Street." He repeated, urgently.

Erin could feel the blood leaking out of her shoulder. She wondered where Jay was, she was staring directly at the ceiling and she couldn't see him in her peripheral vision. She heard a struggle distantly and saw Juan dash out the doorway with Jorge following him.

And then she heard Ruzek's voice. "Police! Put your hands where I can see them!" A pause and then, "Put your hands up right now!"

She could feel the blood pooling underneath her and she knew that wasn't good. The edges of her vision were blackening and the voices and noises were getting more and more distant to her. Her head was going numb, but she didn't know why…she hadn't been shot there.

It wasn't getting harder to breathe, it just felt like she was getting more and more light-headed and she knew it was from blood loss.

And just as she was about to pass out, she saw Jay. He was above her, but he looked and sounded far away, she wasn't sure why. She could barely make out what he was saying and she had to squint to be able to see him, the lights coming in from the windows were too bright.

"Erin…"He was saying, "Hey, stay awake. You have to stay awake with me, alright? Don't close your eyes, do not close your eyes." He moved her head slightly and let out a sigh, looking up at someone else that she didn't see.

"It looks like she's been shot in the shoulder." Jay was explaining to someone, "And there's blood coming from her head…I think she might have cracked it open…" He said quickly before turning back to her, "Stay with me, Erin."

She wanted to stay awake, but it was getting too hard. Her eye lids felt heavy and they started to droop. But when they closed, she felt Jay touching her face.

"Erin!" He said, louder this time. He smiled when she opened her eyes again. "Hey, there you are. Keep those eyes open for me. Look at me. I'm right here, I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry, Erin." He paused, "Stay awake. Can you hear me?"

She wanted to say something to him, but she could barely hear herself so it was hard. "The…" She reached out and grabbed his jacket. "Look…at…look…" She couldn't get it out, her head was spinning and she was having trouble keeping the words in the right order. She felt like she was going to throw up.

Jay nodded, "Look…look at what?"

Her eyes started to close.

He shook her a little bit, causing them to re-open. "Erin, look at what?" He asked, desperately.

Erin stared at him for a long time. "Youneedto….the…lookat…youneedtolook." Her slurs didn't make sense, "Letter." She managed, "Look…theletter."

"The letter you put in your desk?" Jay asked, to clarify.

Erin blinked and struggled to re-open her eyes. "Yes." She whispered, "Yes."

Jay nodded, his hand still touching her cheek. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" He asked, staring down at her. He would hate to think that she was in a lot of pain right now. He hoped the adrenaline was numbing it.

"Not...much." She breathed, managing a weak smile.

Jay smirked and shook his head, "I know it hurts. You're just too proud to admit it." He looked down at her, "You're being so brave. You're always brave and I admire that so much, Erin, I thought you should know."

"I…" She smiled, but before she could finish what she was going to say, her eyes lulled and then closed again, but this time they didn't re-open.


	2. Nonsense

Hank Voight.

Detective. Leader. Prisoner. Friend. Villian. Father.

In Chicago, he was known for being a "dirty" cop, a tough cop and an even tougher person, especially with regards to his family, his friends and his job. Through the years, he found that having a balance between those things was key. Trouble at home, he could turn to his friends. Trouble on the job, he could confide in his friends and family. Trouble with his friends, he could bury himself in his work or rely on his family. It was a perfect system, until that day, when all three became intertwined in one person.

Erin Lindsay.

He got the call while talking to his CI and at first he ignored it, as he always did in sensitive situations, but it kept ringing over and over again. Voight glanced down briefly the fourth time that it rang.

Halstead.

Voight's CI was watching him, "Got news?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "Maybe you don't need me after all." He said with a shrug, during their whole conversation he had been hesitant to provide his information.

Voight shook his head. "No, no, listen to me…we need your info." He reached to his phone and switched it to silent, "What do you got?"

A long 20 minutes later, Voight was finished with his CI and he had gotten the information that the case needed. As he walked out, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, irritated.

7 Missed Calls from Halstead.

3 Missed Calls from Antonio.

5 Missed Calls from Olinsky.

2 Missed Calls from Srgt. Platt.

Voight was immediately concerned so he called the first number on the list: Halstead. It rang and rang, but no answer. That frustrated Voight so he moved on to Antonio.

Luckily, unlike Halstead, Antonio answered on the third ring. "Voight, where the hell are you?" He asked, voice distraught and almost drowned out by the background noise.

Voight knew something was wrong right away. "I'm with my CI, I got the info, but what's going on?" He asked, walking to his car.

Antonio let out a quick sigh. "We got a lead while you were gone – a Juan Lopez. We decided to send Halstead and Lindsay in to pretend like they were picking up coke for another guy."

"Wait, you did this without me?" Voight asked, annoyed. "I'm the leader of this unit, you need to at least tell me when you do those things."

Antonio cut in. "Voight, listen. I know we didn't do right by you and I apologize, but there's something else." He paused, "When they went in, the situation was stable and they were in the process of picking up the coke when…" He trailed off, tiptoeing around his point.

Voight's heart pounded. "When what?"

Antonio didn't say anything for another moment.

"Antonio, when what?!" He practically yelled into the phone.

Antonio paused, "Erin was shot." He said slowly, "I'm still at the crime scene with Olinsky, Ruzek, but she's on the way to the hospital with Halstead. And it didn't look too bad, she was still awake when-"

But Voight had already hung up.

He climbed into his car and sped off, sirens blaring.

Erin.

He shook his head.

His family, his friend and his job.

She was all three for him.

His adopted daughter, a member of his unit, one of the few people that he had ever really opened up to and he knew he was that to Erin too, one of the few people _she _had ever opened up to.

And as he raced down the road, he found himself angry. And he knew it was stubborn to feel that way, but how else was he supposed to feel? He wondered why his team went in without him. He questioned why Halstead didn't have her back. He couldn't figure out what Erin had done to get herself shot. Was he angry at her too? With that, he came around full circle – it was his fault. Somehow, he wasn't sure specifically yet, but somehow, it had to be his fault.

So he tried to direct the anger towards himself rather than the others. But by the time he got to the hospital and got out of the car, his rationality was gone. As he walked through the hospital doors and into the waiting room, the first person he saw was Halstead.

His back was turned, but Voight didn't waste any time. He grabbed the back of Halstead's jacket and pulled.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Voight asked, voice harsh. "Does the fact that she's your partner mean anything to you?" He said as he yanked Jay backwards, "I thought it did."

Slowly, Halstead turned around where Voight could finally get a look at him. His eyes were big and puffy, full of tears that hadn't fallen yet. He shifted, obviously trying to hold himself together. When he looked at Voight, he glanced down at his hands, which were not only shaking, but also covered in blood.

Her blood.

Halstead met Voight's gaze again, eyes blank, giving up nothing. "She was my partner." He said, voice hoarse and shaky. "And I didn't have her back." He admitted, "And I'm sorry for that, Voight."

Voight stared down at him for a long time, ignoring the wide eyes of their nervous co-workers. "Go wash your hands and then we'll have a talk, alright?"

Halstead nodded slowly and then stumbled in the direction of the bathrooms.

Voight looked around when he was finished, "You went in without me and we will discuss that, but first I want to talk to a doctor."

"Detective Voight." A voice said from behind him.

He turned, it was a doctor.

Voight held his hand out to the man, who shook it politely in return. "Yes, that's me." He confirmed, trying to read the doctor to determine the severity of the situation and of her condition, but the other man didn't give anything away.

The doctor nodded, "I'm Dr. Scott. I understand that you are Ms. Linsday's emergency contact, correct?" He asked, looking at his clipboard.

Voight nodded.

"Alright, I just need to see some identification and then I'd be happy to discuss her condition with you." Dr. Scott said, expectantly.

Voight flashed his ID quickly and then stared at the doctor, eager for the news that he was about to convey.

Dr. Phillips paused, "Ms. Lindsay's condition is not critical, but it is complicated." He started, "She was shot twice, once in the vest, which will leave a welt and maybe a scar. And another time in the shoulder, which didn't cause much damage either, it just nicked a ligament and got lodged in some muscle tissue on the way out so we performed an emergency surgery and removed the bullet. She also sustained a minor concussion that has left in a confused state, but she is awake and asking for you, persistently." He informed Voight, "She's in Room 202, you can go ahead and see her now."

Voight touched the doctor's arm. "Thank you, Dr. Scott." He said before quickly rushing to the stairwell where he climbed to the second floor and found room 202. He pushed the door open quietly and entered.

And there she was, laying in the bed, staring out the window.

When he walked in, she turned towards him. "Hey…" She said, cracking a smile.

He smiled a little bit too as he approached her bed, "Hey kid. How are you feeling?" He asked, putting a hand on the edge of her bed.

Erin blinked, taking a moment to answer the question. "I feel…okay." She said slowly, "Kind of…out of it." Her voice was soft, almost hoarse. Her eyes looked cloudy, like she wasn't completely aware of what was going on.

Voight nodded knowingly. "Well, I'm glad you're okay. The doctors say your condition isn't critical so you'll probably be out of here by the end of the week, maybe a few days…I'm not sure, I didn't ask specifically." He smiled and watched her eyes lower as he talked about it.

Erin bit her lip, eyes turned down to her hands. "I don't want to leave." She said cryptically, closing her eyes for a moment. "They're after me."

"What?" Voight shook his head, that phrase causing a chill to go down his spine. He wasn't sure if she was serious or not, maybe she just was overreacting because of what had happened to her.

She looked up at him, blinked a few times and then didn't respond to his question. She just kind of brushed it off and continued to look out the window again, as if she hadn't heard him at all.

So he pushed a little more, his worry getting the best of him. "Erin. What are you talking about? Why don't you want to leave?"

Erin looked back at him and squinted. "It's not safe." She said with a slow shake of her head, "Out there." She looked out the window, "It's not safe for me."

Voight creased his eyebrows in confusion. He took his hand in hers, chalking up this weird conversation to the confusion that the doctor had warned him would come with her concussion. "It _is_ safe for you, alright? As long as I'm here, I'll make sure it's safe for you out there." He nodded towards the window.

Erin looked up at him, met his eyes and smiled. "You always have…" She said quietly before turning towards the window again. "But not this time."

Voight tilted his head, but didn't get the chance to reply before he heard a knock on the door. It was a nurse coming in. She said something about checking vitals and Voight nodded, told Lindsay he'd be back later and then left. When he walked out the door, he found Halstead standing near the nurse's station.

"Voight." Jay said when he saw him, "How is she?"

He shrugged, his hands in his pockets. "She's doing alright, well as good as can be expected. She just seems confused, but I think she'll be okay." He put a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Listen…"

Jay looked up, giving Voight his attention.

"Erin is your partner and it is true that you should have had her back, but I don't blame you for this, alright? And I don't think she does either. You did what you thought you should and this happened. I think you learned something important so I'm not gonna bite your head off anymore, but just know that if it ever happens again, we'll have a problem." Voight said, looking into Halstead's eyes.

Jay nodded slowly.

Voight looked down at him. "You can go see her now. I'm sure she'll want to see you too." He said with a nod, knowing that Jay and Erin had a strong friendship.

Jay nodded and stepped past Voight, anxiously. He walked down the hall and stood outside her room, eyes closed. How could he face her? How could he look her in the eyes after what had happened? He took in a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open. As he walked through the doorway, a nurse was making her way out.

Jay mumbled a quiet greeting to her and then went to Lindsay's bedside. He looked down at the ground as he walked up, the guilt eating away at him. He heard her move in the bed.

"Hey there." She said, her voice as raspy as always. Without looking, he could tell that she was smiling, but he wasn't sure why. Under these circumstances, he didn't know why anyone would have the reason to smile.

Slowly, he lifted his head and looked at her. She looked better than the last time he saw her, which was what he should have expected. In all honesty, when he imagined coming to see her, he pictured the worst possible scenario so to be able to see that she was actually okay was a huge relief for him. He met her eyes, "Erin…" He started.

But she didn't let him finish. "We don't have to do this, Jay." She said, her speech slightly slurred. "This whole, you being guilty and me trying to get you to not feel bad about it…can we just skip it?" She smiled, "It's pretty cliché if you ask me."

Jay tried to smile, but he just couldn't. "I'm so sorry." Was all he could say.

Erin shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment before taking his hand between hers. "Your back was turned, Jay. There was no way you could have known that guy was dangerous. It could have just as easily been you in this bed, okay?"

"I'd rather it be me." Jay said with a sigh.

Erin's smile turned slowly, "Don't say that." She said, looking down at their hands. "I'm fine, you're fine and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jay nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Erin smiled playfully, "It is okay." She insisted with a shake of her head.

Jay nodded again and opened his mouth to say something before quickly changing his mind. There was something bothering him, but he wasn't sure that it was a good time to bring it up. He glanced at the ground, conflicted.

Erin watched him curiously, able to tell that there was something on his mind. "What is it?"

"It's just…something you said before you blacked out." Jay started uneasily.

Erin looked up quickly, in a panic, wondering what she could have said that was bothering him so much. "Oh god, I didn't tell you that I loved you, did I?" She joked even though she was honestly wondering if she did. Traumatic moments could cause false feelings like that, or at least that's what she told herself as she watched him for a reaction.

Jay chuckled a little bit. "Uh, no." He brushed it off, "You told me to go look at the letter, the one you had this morning when you came in. I mean…I came straight here and I didn't get the chance, but…why would you tell me that? What's in the letter?"

He noticed her behavior shift. She looked away from him and fidgeted, "Oh…the letter." She mumbled, "It was nothing. I thought I was dying and I panicked and the letter…it was just…never mind, not important."

"Erin." He tried, giving her a serious look.

She let out a sigh. "Jay, it's nothing. Let it go." Her voice was serious when she said it and the slurs that once accompanied her speech were gone. She spoke those words with firm and powerful clarity.

Jay shook his head, frustrated. "No, you know what? I'm not letting it go this time, you're hiding something…again and I'm not sure what it is, but I will find out, okay? Why is it so hard for you to open up to someone?"

That hurt her. Only because she didn't have an answer. Why _was_ it so hard for her to open up to people? Why was it so hard for her to open up to Jay? He was her partner and he was there, standing in front of her, asking for her to trust him, asking for her to tell him the truth.

But she just couldn't.

Erin pulled her hands away from his. "I think you should go."

"Come on…because of this?" He asked, regretting what he had said.

She looked back at him and shook her head. "I'm just really tired and I could use some rest, we'll talk later." She met his eyes, "Please…just go."

Jay nodded slowly, "I'm glad you're okay, Erin." He said softly before turning and walking out of the room. As he did, he looked up, meeting the eyes of a stranger at the nurse's station. He nodded to the man politely and walked away, looking down at his hand as he did. There, in it, was a necklace. Erin had slipped it to him when she took his hand. There was a key on the chain, but he didn't know what it was to, or why she had given it to him.

Her behavior, the letter, the key.

It didn't make any sense.

But in a few hours, it would.


	3. The Promise

The fire raged through the building fiercely, engulfing the walls, the floors, the ceilings, everything. The flames spread through the rooms unimaginably quickly and the heat was unbearable. Smoke filled the building, making it nearly impossible to breathe. To a normal person, this situation would be indescribably terrifying, but to the Chicago Fire Department, it was just another call.

A warehouse had caught on fire and supposedly it was empty, but as Engine 51 rolled up to the scene, screams could be heard coming from the second floor. It was probably a homeless person who had been living in the abandoned warehouse.

The firefighters exited the vehicle while the Lieutenant, Casey, yelled orders back at his team, telling everyone where to go while Kelly Severide handled the rescue squad, giving them their orders before they followed Casey's team in.

The rescue squad's priority was to make sure that everyone inside the building got out so Kelly had half of them stay downstairs and check the rooms while the other half went up to check the rest of the rooms. He went with the half that went to the second floor. There weren't a lot of rooms, but the rooms that were there, were huge so they had to go all the way in and clear the room to be sure. After the fourth room, they found where the screaming was coming from. It was a man, looked to be in his 20s, leaning out the window for air. He was large, buff, so Kelly and another guy had to team up to carry him out. Within the next 10 minutes, they were handing the man off to Shay and Dawson. And 20 minutes after that, the rest of the rescue squad had cleared the building. From then on, it was just about putting the fire out safely. That took another 30 minutes and when it was finally extinguished, they did a secondary sweep of the building.

They didn't find anything shocking in the second search so they packed up everything and headed back to the station where they all individually washed up and changed before sitting down around the table to eat.

Well, everyone except Dawson and Shay, who had gotten a second call right after they got back.

The firefighters didn't pay much attention. They were all too focused on compromising on what to watch on the TV, it was proving to be annoyingly hard to come to a consensus so they just left it on the news.

Kelly ate his sandwich hungrily, he had missed breakfast and really needed to get some food in his system. For once, the sandwich wasn't too bad or maybe he was just too hungry to notice. It didn't really matter to him.

His back was to the TV, but he could hear the news anchor talking about budget cuts in the background. He tuned it out and looked up at Casey, who was sitting in front of him. "So a couple nights ago, Shay mentioned something about a ring…" He raised his eyebrows, looking at Casey.

The other man sighed, "Keep your voice down." He said quietly, "The last thing I need is the whole station knowing about it."

Kelly smiled and nodded knowingly, "So have you decided how you're gonna pop the question? And don't say that part doesn't matter because it does. It's the story you have to tell over and over again so it should be good."

Casey chuckled and shrugged, "I'll start thinking about that once the ring gets in. I mean, what's the rush if she doesn't even know about it yet?"

Kelly nodded. "Yet, being the key word. It's just a matter of time before Shay lets it slip, I'm just saying." He chuckled a little bit.

Casey opened his mouth to reply when something caught his eye on the TV. He squinted, probably reading the headline. "Woah…" He said.

Kelly tilted his head and turned around to look at the screen. A woman, a field reporter, was standing in front of a seemingly normal-looking house. The headline read:

**Drug Bust Gone Wrong: CPD officer taken to the hospital**

He listened closely to what she was saying.

"…two undercover officers to go in and follow up on a lead when one of the men allegedly pulled a gun and shot an unarmed officer twice in cold blood. Sources say that the officer shot was a female and part of the District 21 Police Department. Both shots were said to have been to the chest, but the officer was wearing a vest…" The reporter paused, touching her earpiece for a moment to listen and then she turned to the camera again. "I've just gotten word that this officer was part of a special unit in District 21, the Intelligence Unit, I'm told and…"

Kelly stood up suddenly.

The Intelligence Unit.

There was only one girl on the Intelligence Unit:

Erin.

Casey watched him curiously, "What's wrong?" He asked.

Kelly looked back at him, "I need someone to cover my shift." He said, heart pounding.

Casey was confused, but he nodded. "Sure of course, I think I can call-"

"Thanks." He said quickly before turning and walking out of the station. As he walked through the garage where the truck was, the ambulance was just pulling in. He started to walk past it when he heard Shay behind him.

"Kelly!" She called, running over. "We just got a call, it was Lindsay. I know you two have a thing. We just dropped her off at Chicago Med."

He nodded. "How was she?"

"It wasn't bad, but she lost a lot of blood." Shay paused, "I think she'll be okay."

Kelly nodded and then turned, jogging towards his car. "Thanks!" He called over his shoulder, barely hearing the 'You're welcome' that she called back. He unlocked his car and got in, driving to the hospital as quickly as he could. When he got there and saw the rest of her team in the waiting room, it became real. His stomach twisted and turned as he walked over to Voight, who was seated next to Antonio. "Hey, uh…" He scratched his head uneasily, "I heard Erin was in the hospital. How's she doing?"

Voight looked up, staring at Kelly for a moment, "You're Severide, right? Firehouse 51?"

He nodded, hoping that wouldn't cause some hostility between them. He knew that Voight had problems with people at his station before.

Voight nodded slowly in return before standing up so that he was face to face with Kelly, "Walk with me." He said as he walked towards the stairwell.

Kelly didn't want to follow him, but he ignored his uneasiness and walked into the stairwell with Voight. "Coming in here to rough me up?" He asked with a chuckle.

Voight stared at him for a moment and then cracked a smile, "Come on." He started walking up the stairs and when Kelly followed, he started to fill him in. "Erin was shot twice. Once in the vest and another time in the shoulder. There was some tissue damage, but they removed the bullet so it should be fine. She also got a concussion from falling after being shot." He stopped when they reached the second floor. "Look, I don't know what you have with her…she hasn't told me, but I think you're a decent guy so I'm gonna give you a chance, sound like deal?"

"Uh, sure." Kelly said, not entirely sure what was happening.

Voight nodded and pushed the door to the second floor open. "She's in Room 202. Halstead might still be in there." He gave a small shrug, "Go on."

Kelly patted Voight's shoulder, "Thank you." He said, walking down the hall for a few seconds until reaching Room 202. The door was open when he walked up and he stuck his head inside, smiling.

But the room was empty.

He tilted his head and looked back at Voight, who was standing at the nurse's station. He gave him a curious look, wondering if this was some kind of mistake. He walked over to the detective, "Where is she?"

Before Voight could even answer the question, Jay burst through the doors of the stairwell and ran to the doorway of Room 202. Like Kelly, he found it empty. "What?" He shook his head.

Moments later, a nurse pushed through the stairwell doors and walked up behind Jay. "Sir." She said calmly, "I need you to confirm that you visited the patient in this room, at approximately 3:45."

Jay ran his fingers through his hair, "Yea…I was there."

"Halstead!" Voight said, walking over. "What's going on?"

Jay turned at the sound of his voice, "I was downstairs when this nurse came up and asked me if I had been the last person to see Erin Lindsay. I told her that I didn't know and I asked her why she needed to know." He glanced at the nurse standing next to him, "And she said that Erin was gone."

Voight turned to the nurse then, "What do you mean gone?"

The nurse flinched at the harshness of his voice. "We do rounds every hour and when we got around to her room, she was gone. All her wires were disconnected and her bag full of her belongings was gone too."

Voight looked into the room, "A person can't just get up and walk out of a hospital, can they? What kind of security do you have here?" He asked incredulously.

The nurse shrugged, "We have security, but mostly to keep people out rather than keep people in. If she changed clothes, we would have no way of knowing that she was patient." She replied, "We are looking into it right now, but from what we know, this man was the last to visit her, but we aren't sure when she left."

"Or why." Jay said, walking away from her room and over to the nurse's station. He looked at Kelly, "What are you doing here?" He asked.

Kelly looked at him, "I came to see Erin." He said firmly, not going to let Jay's hostility deter him. He looked at the empty room. "I guess that's not going to happen now." He muttered. He hadn't even got the chance to see her before she left, he never got to make sure for himself that she was okay.

Behind them, Voight was arguing with the nurse.

Jay looked at Kelly and nodded slowly, "Looks like it." He glanced back at the empty room and shook his head. "I was in there with her. And she was acting weird and she told me to leave…and I just…did." He paused, "If I had stayed…If I'd had her back…"

Kelly pushed Jay's shoulder to snap him out of it. "She's gone, accept it and stop wasting time beating yourself up about it." He said firmly before gesturing to the badge clipped to his belt. "You're a detective. Find her."

"I want to see your surveillance videos." Voight demanded, showing her his badge."Now."

The nurse nodded sheepishly, "Of course." She said, walking back over to the nurse's station and calling a security guard to come. A few minutes later, a guard came up, put his code into the computer and pulled up the surveillance video.

The Intelligence Unit, who had all gathered on the second floor after Voight called them, stood around the computer and watched as the guard fast forwarded to the time when Jay walked out of Lindsay's room.

Kelly stood watching too, both curious and concerned about Erin.

The camera had a clear view of the hallway by Erin's room and with her window open, the camera had a full view of the inside of her room too. After Jay left, she just lay there for a few moments and then she looked out the window towards the nurse's station. When she did, for some reason, her behavior changed.

Tenderly, she got up out of the bed and walked to the window, quickly shutting the shades. After that, the camera couldn't see her anymore so they didn't know what she was doing, but a few minutes later, she exited her room, fully dressed and quickly, clumsily rushed down the hall towards the back stairwell.

The guard leaned forward then and cut to a different camera that showed Erin walking out the hospital doors. Once she was outside, he cut again to the outside, parking lot cameras.

The unit watched as Erin stumbled down the sidewalk, weaving haphazardly through the other people rushing down the street. She pulled out her phone, dialed a number and starting talking on the phone to someone as she walked across the street.

Voight watched the tape, completely baffled by her behavior. "Where is she going?" He asked, thinking out loud as he watched her walk across the street.

Antonio, who was standing next to him, was the first to answer. "She doesn't have a car and she's hurt. Where _would_ she go?" He asked incredulously. He couldn't wrap his head around why she would leave.

"And who did she call?" Olinsky added from the back of the group. "Her behavior doesn't make sense. She's acting like she has something to hide."

"Maybe she does." Jay said quietly from where he was leaning against the counter. "She was acting really weird when I was talking to her and I didn't know why, but it was probably has something to do with this." He shrugged.

Ruzek shrugged and looked at Voight. "Well you two are close, right? And you know about her past, maybe that's what this is about. Last time she got like this, it was because Charlie was here."

Voight shook his head, hands in his pockets. "If it was something like that, she would have came to me or told me about it when I went to see her…"

Everyone paused, unsure of where to go from there. They knew she left, but they had no idea where she was going or why.

"The letter." Jay said softly.

Antonio turned back to him, confused. "What?" He asked, not sure if he had heard him right.

Jay started to explain. "This morning Erin came into work with this letter that she said she needed to show Voight and later when she was shot and she thought she was dying, she told me to go and look at it. But I came straight to the hospital and when I went into visit her, I mentioned the letter and she freaked out." He clarified. "We should look at that."

Voight nodded and stared at the computer screen. "Alright. Here's what we're gonna do: Olinsky and Ruzek, you interrogate Lopez and try to get the name of the guy who shot Lindsay. Atwater, I want you to get her phone records and find out who she was calling. Antonio, Jay and I will go back to the station and get that letter. We meet up at District 21 in two hours." He finished before walking towards the stairwell.

The rest of the team dispersed.

Kelly, who had been listening and watching the whole time, went to Voight. "I want to help. Is there anything I can do?"

Voight looked at the other man, clamped a hand on his shoulder and nodded. "Go back to work." He said blandly. "If we get anything, I'll let you know."

Kelly wanted to protest, but Voight was walking away before he could even begin to argue. Defeated, he went to his car and drove back to the firehouse, hoping that would get his mind off of things.

Just as Kelly was arriving back at Firehouse 51, Jay, Voight and Antonio had just gotten back to the station. They walked in with purpose, ignoring the concerned looks from the uniforms and Sergeant Platt asking if Erin was alright. They just headed straight up the stairs to Intelligence.

Jay was in front of Antonio and Voight. He rushed to Erin's desk, pulled open the drawer he saw her put the letter in and grabbed it. He looked up at Voight and Antonio as he held it. Erin had specifically asked him not to open it, but he had to so he could find her. He just felt torn.

But Voight was desperate. "Just open it already." He said, irritation accenting his voice.

Jay nodded and opened the envelope carefully before pulling out the letter. He read it out loud:

"Hello Erin,

I've been waiting for 13 years to send you this letter. I've been in jail, as you know, so I've had a lot of time to think. Everyday I've thought about that day, the takedown that put me away. How did the cops know? Did someone tip them off? Well, I finally figured it out when I talked to some of my informants. You. You betrayed me. You and Charlie and Drake lied directly to my face. You set me up. I was loyal to you, I was on honest and what did you do? You screwed me over. So now, it's time for revenge. I'm finally out and I want to repay you and everyone else for what you did to me. Don't try to run or hide anything because I _will_ find you and when I do, I'm going to kill you."

Jay looked up, shock in his eyes. "Why wouldn't she say something about this?" He felt hurt because she thought she couldn't confide in him.

"Because she knew getting anyone wrapped into this would be a bad idea." Antonio said, "Thoughtful, but stupid." He shook his head.

Voight crossed his arms over his chest. "Let's stop talking about why she didn't say anything and try to figure out who this is from."

Jay looked at the envelope. "No return address, no signature. She must have known who it was from though."

"It's someone who wants revenge because she set them up? Do you know anything about that, Voight?" Antonio asked, thinking that if anyone knew about it, he would.

But he shook his head slowly. "But when she was my CI, she did tell me that Charlie and Drake were brothers and that they were the leaders of their group."

"Is this the same Charlie that went to jail a few months ago?"

Voight nodded, "Yes."

"Well then what happened to Drake?"

Voight shifted uncomfortably with a shake of his head. He put his hands in his pockets and let out a long sigh, realizing that he was going to have to explain.

Jay looked up when Voight didn't answer. By his behavior, Jay had to assume that Drake had been "taken care of". But he still had to ask to be sure. "What happened to Drake, Voight?"

The older man paused, "Erin probably wouldn't like me telling you this, but I think it might have something to do with the person sending her the letter." He said slowly before launching into the story.

_Voight had just gotten in his car that morning. His partner was sick so he was on his own for the day, according to the sergeant. As he got situated, a voice came over the radio. Apparently someone had called in a disturbance at their neighbor's house. He responded and drove to the address he was given. When he arrived, a woman was standing in her front yard, pointing at her neighbor's house. _

_Voight walked over to her and as he did, he could hear glass breaking in the house next door. "Ma'am, did you call 911?"_

_The woman nodded. "Two men live there and they have a lot of people over sometimes, but today it was just this girl…I've seen her before, but after a while, I heard screaming and things breaking…I don't know what's going on." She told him. _

_Voight nodded, hearing a faint scream as she finished. "Alright, I'll check it out. Please go inside, ma'am." He watched her walk into her house before approaching the front door of her neighbor's house. He knocked loudly over their arguing, "CPD. Open up!"_

_The arguing abruptly stopped and there was a long pause before a girl came to the door. _

_Voight examined her. She had long light brown hair with blue tips and a small studded nose ring. Her clothes were dirty and baggy on her and she had a hazy look in her eyes, one that he'd seen many times before. "Hello. Are you the owner of this house?"_

_She cleared her throat before answering, "No." Her voice was soft and raspy._

_Voight tried to look into the room behind her, but she shut the door a little more, obscuring his view. "May I speak to the owner of this residence?"_

_The girl stared at him for a moment, as if she hadn't heard him and then turned her head slighty without taking her eyes off of Voight. "Drake, the cop wants to talk to you."_

_He heard movement and then a man moved into the doorway next to girl. He looked to be at least 5 years older than her, a short beard starting to grow sloppily on his face. "Can I help you?" His eyes were bloodshot and he sounded annoyed. _

_Voight didn't like that. "Yes, you can. First, you can stop talking to me like I'm not worth your time and treat me with some respect, I'm a police officer." He paused, "And second, we got a noise complaint about this residence. What is going on?"_

_The man let out a sigh. "My brother and I were arguing about rent money. We'll try to keep it down." He started to shut the door. _

_But Voight had a feeling that there was something more. _

_So he put up his hand, preventing the door from shutting. "Arguing about rent?" He smirked, "What is your name?"_

_"Drake." The man answered. _

_Voight nodded, a threatening smile on his face. "Well Drake, why don't I come inside and have a talk with you and your brother? Or am I going to find the marijuana we both know you have? Or maybe it's cocaine." He smirked. "The point is…either I can come inside and bust you for possession of whatever you have and selling it to a minor," he looked at the girl, "or you can tell me what was really going on."_

_The man, Drake, paused suspiciously, but then opened the door to reveal his brother lying still on the couch. "We thought he overdosed and we were both kind of freaked out and we were arguing, but then he woke up…he's fine, just sleeping it off." He said. "I'm sorry, Officer. We'll keep it down."_

_"That's more like it." Voight said with a nod before turning to the girl. "What's your name?"_

_She stared at him. "Mary." _

_Voight nodded slowly, "Mary, you need to go back to school tomorrow and try to get off the drugs, alright?" He warned. _

_The girl nodded. "Yes, sir."_

"That was the first time I met Drake Pugliese and the first time I met Lindsay." Voight told them.

Antonio creased his eyebrows. "You said the girl's name was Mary."

"Yep. The first time I met Erin, she lied straight to my face." He smirked, "But that's not even all of the story."

_A week after the noise complaint at that house, Voight's partner was back and they were having a slow day. Those happened. They would get false alarms and house calls, but nothing too exciting. That day had started out that way, slow, with a false alarm burglar who turned out to be a gardener and a call about a disturbance which ended up behind a stray cat stuck under the porch. So it was safe to say their day had been uneventful._

_Until the end of their shift neared and they got a call from a woman who heard screaming in the house next to hers. As they responded, Voight realized he recognized the address and he groaned, wondering what the problem was this time. _

_As they pulled up to the house, the sky had just started to darken. The woman was outside her house again. She started explaining the call to Voight's partner while Voight moved towards the house. _

_The front door was wide open and he could hear yelling coming from inside. _

_Quickly, he drew his gun and entered. _

_The living room was messy and he saw a line of coke blatantly on the coffee table. But the yelling was coming from the back of the house. _

_So he followed it. _

_It was man's voice and at first, he couldn't tell what it was saying, but as he got closer, he was about to understand it. _

_"Erin! Erin, please wake up!" The man yelled. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry! Stay with me, alright?! Stay awake , Erin!"_

_Voight walked into the bathroom, where the yelling was coming from, and observed the scene. _

_The girl, who had told him her name was Mary, was lying in the bath tub, limp. Her face was swollen and bloody, covered in bruises and scratches along with a few stray bruises on her arms and legs as well. She looked to be unconscious and there was a man crouched next to her. _

_When he yelled and shook her, her eyes weakly lulled open. _

_Voight put his gun away, determining that there was no real threw. "Sir." He said. _

_The man turned around. "Please, help!" He pleaded, gesturing to the girl in the tub. _

_Voight got on his knees next to the tub and felt her pulse. It was racing. "What happened?" He asked, examining the bruises scattered on her body. _

_The man bit his lip, not wanting to talk to the cop. _

_The girl was completely unconscious by then. _

_Voight looked back at the man. "I can't help her if you don't tell me. " He said urgently, "What did she take?"_

_The man paused. _

_"What drug?" He asked with a little more force, "What drug did she take?" He examined her arms for needle marks and found none, "Coke?"_

_The man nodded slowly. _

_"Damn it. Since when do you dealers give drugs to kids?" Voight asked incredulously as he lifted the girl up. Stepping in the tub behind her, he pulled her to her feet and turned the shower on. The water was freezing, but that was probably a good thing. _

_As the water ran over both of them, he patted her cheek. "Wake up. Hey! Wake up!" He said, shaking her. "C'mon, kid. C'mon!" He tried. _

_Her head moved slightly and she let out a cough. _

_"That's it." Voight said as she shook in his arms. "Keep your eyes open, okay?" He lifted his radio and called the EMTs to the address that they were at._

_They arrived 10 minutes later and took the girl to the hospital while Voight and his partner took the man who had been yelling back to the police station, but didn't have enough evidence to convict him of anything so he got to walk. _

_But Voight wasn't satisfied. _

_He wanted to know the story of what had happened that night. So he went to the hospital to talk to the girl. _

_"So your name isn't Mary." He said, cracking a smile as he walked into her hospital room. _

_The girl looked up, exhaustion in her eyes. "No…it's not." She paused, looking at her hands folded in front of her, "It's Erin. I'm sorry I lied to you."_

_"No harm done." Voight shrugged and sat down next to her bed. "You look better than the last time I saw you."_

_She nodded slowly. _

_Voight decided to get to the point. "So I just came by today to see if you could shed some light on what happened that night." He said hopefully. _

_Erin narrowed her eyes, "And what do I get if I tell you?" She asked, knowing that snitching wasn't worth it if she didn't get anything out of it._

_Voight reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of cask, flashed it to her and then tucked it away again. "Talk." He said._

_Erin nodded slowly. "The man you took to the station yesterday, that was my boyfriend, Charlie Pugliese. And the man that you met a few nights ago, Drake, is his brother. They do some dealing in my neighborhood and well, that night when you came by about the noise complaint…Drake blamed it on me because it had been my screaming that made the woman call the cops. And over the next few days when he lost some deals because the people had heard he has some trouble with cops, he was mad so he came, found me and…" She gestured to the bruises on her face. "And..I usually only did pot. The high from that was enough for me, I'm kind of a lightweight. But that night, Drake said he couldn't trust me unless I snorted some coke…so I did, just a little. But he said it wasn't enough. He made me do more and more and then just forced my heard into it and made me breath it in until I couldn't see straight. The rest I don't remember." She explained. _

_Voight nodded, anger bubbling inside of him. "You almost overdosed."_

_"So I've been told." She muttered. _

_Voight leaned forward, "Can I ask you how old you are?"_

_"15." She replied. _

_Voight shook his head. "And your parents?"_

_"Not around." Erin muttered, "Listen…Charlie has a house and he has money and drugs. And…at the end of the day, I don't have anywhere else to go." She told him._

_Voight looked up, "Wait. You're going back to him?" He asked, shocked. _

_Erin nodded. "There's nothing else I can do." She said softly, "He's all I have." She finished, eyes shifting to his pocket. "Is that enough for you?"_

_Voight pulled the money out and handed it to her, giving her his card as well. "If you ever, __**ever **__want a better life for yourself, you give me call, alright?" _

_Erin stared at the card for a moment, saying nothing. And then, out of nowhere, "I heard what you did for me. The shower, all that. The doctors said that you saved my life." She said, "So thank you."_

_Voight nodded slowly. "Thank me later, I have a proposition for you."_

"I asked her to be my CI, she said yes and that was it." Voight finished blankly, "I tried to find Drake after that, but he disappeared, laid low for a few months and came back. But Erin didn't press charges so I couldn't arrest him. I tried to find him myself after that, but he had already left again. Both those bastards got away." He shook his head.

"So whoever sent this letter is after Erin, Charlie, Drake and probably everyone in their group." Antonio said with a shrug.

Voight nodded. "We just need to figure out who else was in their group. Maybe she that's where she went." He said.

"Maybe we should go talk to Charlie in jail. He might know what happened to Drake." Antonio suggested.

Voight nodded. "Alright." He looked at Halstead, "We only need two people for that so Halstead, why don't you go talk to some CI's and see if you can find out who sent the letter. Take Burgess with you." He said.

Jay nodded slowly and turned towards the stairs, his hand in his pocket, clutching the key that Erin had given him at the hospital. He walked down the stairs only to find Burgess standing by the Sergeant's desk, waiting for her next assignment.

Jay walked over just as Platt was giving Burgess an order, "Hey. Do you mind if I borrow her for the day?" He asked, gesturing to Burgess.

Platt shook her head, "Go right ahead." She muttered before turning back to the computer.

Burgess looked up at Jay.

He gave her a nod, "Come on." He said, gesturing towards the stairs. He opened the gate to Intelligence and held it open for her. When they reached the top of the stairs, Antonio and Voight were on their way out.

"Forgot my jacket." Jay muttered nonchalantly as they walked out. Slowly, he walked to his desk and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair.

Burgess stood by his desk. "So I heard what happened to Lindsay. Is she okay?"

Jay ignored her for a moment, walking over to Lindsay's desk and opening her drawers. He dug through her stuff, obviously looking for something. "No she's not okay." He finally muttered.

Burgess walked over to him. "What are you looking for?" She asked.

Jay stopped looking through her drawers and moved on to her computer. "Paperwork." He said, nonspecifically. He tried to log into Erin's computer, but he didn't know her password. Slowly, he stood. "Come on." He said blankly as he walked towards the stairs.

But Burgess didn't like how this was happening. "Halstead." She said, not moving from where she had been standing.

He looked back at her.

"Tell me what's going on." She demanded, "Maybe I can help."

Jay let out a sigh, contemplating it. Maybe she was right. He did need to tell someone about this soon or he would drive himself crazy. "Fine." He said, "But for right now. All of this stays between us, got it?"

Burgess nodded slowly.

Jay let out a sigh. "Lindsay was shot while we were undercover and I was with her. She was scared and bleeding and before she passed out, she told me to look at a letter in her desk. But I went to the hospital instead. She was okay, just some shoulder damage and a concussion. I visited her and asked her about the letter, but she freaked out and told me to leave. And then within the next hour, she disappeared. We looked at the security tapes and found out that she had gotten dressed and just walked right out of the hospital, alone. We didn't know why until we got back here and read the letter that she had mentioned before." He paused, "It turned out it was a death threat and we think that's why she left the hospital."

"A death threat?" Burgess asked, a shocked look on her face. "From who?"

Jay shook his head. "That's just it. We don't know. It has something to do with some people from her past so Voight and Antonio are heading to the prison to talk to Lindsay's old boyfriend. And they wanted us to go talk to some CI's, but…" He pulled the necklace that Erin had given him out of his pocket and handed it to her, "Erin gave this to me at the hospital. I didn't tell anyone because I think Erin gave it to me specifically for a reason…I just don't know what it opens."

Burgess examined the key. "You think whatever this opens has something to do with where she went?"

"Maybe." Jay answered.

Burgess looked at the key again. "It's small, probably a deposit box or something. You just need to check her bank records and see if she bought something like that."

Jay let out a sigh. "Well we don't have Jin anymore so that department has been kind of slow."

Burgess shrugged. "I can do it. The computers down stairs have access to all of that, right?"

Jay nodded.

"Okay well let's go." She said, walking down the stairs.

Jay followed, dumb-founded.

They went down stairs to the space where Jin used to do his work. It was mostly empty. Intelligence was currently in the process of finding his replacement, but hadn't found anyone solid yet so they had to do all of their research manually.

But luckily, the computers were still there and still accessible.

So Burgess sat down, used her log in and started working. It took her about 10 minutes to locate Lindsay's bank account and from there, she needed Jay's authorization to look at it because he was a higher rank then her. And once he typed in his log in, they were able to scroll through her purchases.

There were a lot of things on that list and as Jay read through them, he couldn't help feeling like he was invading her privacy. But he felt like this key would help find her and he couldn't just let that possibility slip through his fingers so he continued scanning her purchases.

It took them 40 minutes to look through a whole year of purchases and there was nothing there. It wasn't until they hit June of the previous year that they came across something.

She had bought a safe deposit box at a nearby post office.

Jay looked down at the key and then looked at Burgess. "Well let's go then." He said, standing. He clutched the key in his hand, nervous about what he was going to find in the box. They walked upstairs and were on their way to Jay's car when they turned a corner and ran into a very distraught-looking Kelly Severide.

The two men were quiet for a moment.

Burgess broke the silence. "Severide, right? Rescue squad?" She smiled at him.

Kelly nodded slowly. "And you're Officer Burgess. It's nice to see you again. I was actually on my way to the station."

"For what?" Jay asked quickly, "Erin isn't there." He muttered.

Kelly looked at the other man. "I know that." He said, "But I'm not on shift right now and I just couldn't sit around so I was hoping that I could help…"

Jay stared at him and then shook his head, "I really don't think there's anything you can help us with." He said as he moved past the firefighter. "But thanks." He muttered sarcastically.

Burgess gave Kelly a sympathetic look before following Jay.

But Kelly couldn't let it go.

"Wait Jay, come on man." Kelly said, following him. "What's the harm of me coming along?"

Jay turned, "What's the harm of dragging around an unarmed, inexperience firefighter into sensitive police work? I don't know, Severide, you tell me." He snapped before turning around again.

But Kelly grabbed him. "I'm not inexperienced. I'll just wait in the car, please just let me help. I can't just sit around, I can't." He pleaded.

Jay stared at him for a moment, saying nothing. He pulled his arm out of Kelly's grasp. "Fine." He said, "But don't get in our way."

Kelly nodded quickly before following the two cops to the car a few yards away. He got in the back seat while they sat in the front. "Where are we going?"

Burgess turned around to explain as Jay drove. "Lindsay had a safe deposit box and we think there might be something important inside of it."

"You think you'll be able to tell why she left?"

Burgess glanced at the ground for a moment before responding. "We already know why she left." She said, "They found a letter in her desk, a death threat that was anonymous and they think that's why she left, she's on the run."

Kelly ran his fingers through his hair, trying to wrap his mind around it. "A death threat?" He asked with a shake of his head, "And you don't know who sent it?"

Burgess shook her head. "They think it was from someone in her past."

Jay nodded. "The letter said that he wanted revenge because apparently Lindsay "set him up" and got him put in jail."

Kelly nodded thoughtfully, "She's never really told me much about her past."

Jay chuckled humorlessly, "Join the club." He muttered, "All I know is that she's close with Voight because he took her in and got her off the streets. Apparently she had a rocky childhood. I don't have a lot of details."

Kelly nodded slowly. "I've gathered that much. She doesn't really like to talk about it." He shrugged. "I guess I don't blame her. I just wish that she would talk to someone."

Jay nodded in agreement and then for the rest of the ride, they sat in silence, all simultaneously considering what they were about to find.

It looked crowded when they arrived at the post office, but Jay was undeterred. He walked straight up to the desk, held up his badge and asked to go to the room where the safe deposit boxes were. A worker helped him immediately, leading them to a door and unlocking it for them.

Jay mumbled a quick thank you and then went in. He remembered the number from the bank transcript.

237.

Slowly, he walked to it, pulled out the key and slid it into the lock.

It fit.

He turned the key and pulled the box open only to reveal a pile of blank envelopes full of papers.

Jay stared down at them, surprised that was what they found. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but it definitely hadn't been this. He counted 16 envelopes as he sifted through them, none labeled.

Carefully, so no papers were misplaces, he pulled them out and set them on the table in the middle of the room.

"Let's start looking." He said as he started to open the first envelope.

Burgess and Kelly did the same with two others.

Jay looked down at the papers he pulled out, reading them. The first was her high school diploma, the second was her college acceptance letter, the third was her college diploma and the last was her diploma and the last was her diploma from the police academy. He smiled a little and slid them back into the envelope before putting it to the side. "Diplomas." He reported, looking up.

Kelly was looking down at his. "Uh…these are arrest papers. Six, total." He flipped through the papers. "Retail theft, misdemeanor, simple battery, solicitation and two counts of unlawful possession of marijuana."

Burgess set hers aside. "Certifications." She said, "Apparently she's a certified scuba diver." She shrugged.

Kelly smirked, "Oh yea. I knew that. She said she got it when she visited an old friend in Florida."

Jay looked down at the rest of the envelopes. "Come on, let's get through these. There's gotta be something useful."

They continued going through the papers for a while finding apartment payments, car insurance, everything that she needed to be kept safe was in this deposit box. It wasn't until their fifth round of envelopes that Jay came across something.

Letters.

He pulled them out slowly, there were at least 10 of them, all hand-written. He looked down at the bottom to see who they were from. Half were from their father, he skimmed them. It was mostly him asking her to visit him in prison, asking how her mom was doing and wondering if she had any money she could move around to pay off some of his debt.

Jay personally wondered why she kept these. Her dad didn't seem like he cared about her, these just seemed like desperate pleas for money. He set them down, annoyed.

The other half were letters from friends that she had saved, all except one.

One single letter at the very bottom of the stack.

It was dirty and the handwriting was sloppy and unorganized. The sentences were jumbled and as a whole, it didn't really make a lot of sense. It was basically just a rant of a letter.

Sent by her mom.

It was mostly just about her mother's life, how she got wrapped up into the wrong people and got addicted to drugs at a young age, why Erin's father had gone to prison and just how she had failed to be a mother to Erin. At the end, it said she was in rehab getting clean and if Erin ever needed anything, she could call and her mother would be there because she never had been.

Jay bit his lip. As far as he knew, Erin had never contacted her mother for anything. He let out a sigh, wondering if they would ever get that mother-daughter relationship back. Silently, he tucked the letters away.

"I think I have something there." Burgess said, looking down at her letter. "It's an article from a newspaper. Apparently, 12 years ago there was a huge drug bust on the south side. They got an anonymous tip and found a guy just sitting in a parking lot with a moving truck full of cocaine." She paused, "And underneath that are two receipts, one for a moving truck and one for a disposable phone…"

Jay exchanged a look with Burgess.

"What?" Kelly asked, not understanding.

Jay looked up at him. "The police received an anonymous tip reporting a moving truck that would be in a parking lot on the south side. And they, meaning Erin and her group, bought a moving truck and a disposable phone." He paused. "It was a set up. They bought someone a moving truck, filled it up with cocaine, told him to take it to that parking lot on the south side and then bought a disposable phone and called in with an anonymous tip. Whoever they set up is the person who sent the letter." Jay finished.

Burgess skimmed the article again. "Emilio Chavez."

Jay shook his head. "That was our case." He paused, "Today, that was our case. We were out talking to CIs, asking about Chavez because apparently he's picking off members of other gangs. I can't believe I didn't put that together."

"If you were working a case about the guy who threatened to kill her, why wouldn't she say anything?" Kelly asked incredulously.

Jay sighed. "Because that's how these kinds of things work. Right now, Chavez is after Erin, but the moment she told someone else, that person would be on the list too."

Kelly let out a sigh. "So what now? You know who's after her." He said.

"But we don't know where she went." Jay reported as he put away all the envelopes except for the one Burgess had found and then locked her box again.

Kelly shrugged. "You don't need to know where she went. All you have to do is catch Chavez, which you were already in the process of doing, and then she can just come out of hiding herself."

Jay shot him a glare. "Because that's the easiest thing in the world. You have no idea what you're talking about."

Kelly put his hands up in surrender. "Maybe I don't, but it was just a suggestion." He replied, "What is your problem with me anyway? Every time I say something, you shut it down. Why? What did I ever do to you?"

Jay shook his head. "You know what my problem is Severide?" He spat the other man's name in disgust. "My _problem_ is that you walk in here and act like you run the place, like know how this works, but you don't."

"Is this about Erin?" Kelly asking, sensing that she had something to do with his hostility.

Jay gave him a harsh glare. "Erin? Yes, it's about Erin. It's about finding her, which you are obviously getting in the way of."

Kelly walked over, getting in Jay's face. "No." He said, "You and Erin are partners and you have a special bond. I don't get it and I don't think you do either, but I think you're jealous of me. And I think that you hate that she has someone else in her life that she can lean on and talk to because before me, it had always been you." He stared at Jay, trying to read him. "Sound about right?"

Jay held Kelly's gaze, his face blank and unreadable. "I don't think you're right for her." He said softly, the argument taking a turn.

Kelly shook his head.

"No, I really don't think you're right for her." Jay paused, "You use her. You have all these problems and she helps you get over them. You're leaning on her and that's the only reason you're together. Sure, I bet you laugh and have fun together, but I don't think she trusts you and I don't think you really trust her. All you have is a superficial shell of a relationship and it's not healthy."

Kelly opened his mouth to protest, but Jay interrupted.

"No, you know what? I should keep going or else I may never get to say the rest of this."

"Halstead…" Burgess tried.

But he continued on anyway, "You two aren't even really together. You never meet in public and you never go on dates. You're just sleeping together because relationships are too hard, too messy, right? Especially when you both have the jobs that you do. And I _really_ hate how the moment that Erin is in trouble, you decide it's time to drop in and help. You've never been around before, so why start now? You want to be the hero, don't you?"

Kelly pushed Jay with a shake of his head. "You're wrong."

Jay held out his arms. "About what?" He asked, practically yelling.

Kelly glared at him. "I care about her."

"Yea, well caring about someone and loving someone are two different things. And I think that you're kidding yourself if you think that what you and Erin have is love." Jay said.

Kelly shook his head. "No. It is love. I love her, Jay. And I know we aren't really public and that I haven't been there, but at the end of a hard day, she's the person I want to be with. And I think I'm the same for her."

"I don't know if you are."

Kelly stared at him for a long time. "She chose me. Hate it, criticize it, do whatever you want, but don't deny it." He paused, "She chose me."

Jay glared at him before huffing, pushing past him and then walking out the door.

Burgess followed him uneasily, mumbling an apology to Kelly as she skirted by and jogged to catch up with Jay. "What the hell?" She asked, completely confused about what had just happened.

Jay shook his head. "I'm just stressed and he was getting on my nerves…" He muttered.

"What's going on with you and Erin?" Burgess asked, a little bit irritated that Jay and Erin could have something together when she and Ruzek had been penalized for their relationship.

Jay shook his head again. "Nothing. She's just a friend and I care about her and I don't like her and Severide together, that's it." He said flatly.

Burgess nodded slowly, not really believing him. "Well you didn't have to go off on him like that. He did help us, you know and he wasn't really getting in the way."

Jay shrugged. "Whatever. He couldn't come back to the station with us anyway so what's the difference? At least now everything's out there."

"Not everything." Burgess muttered, referring to his relationship with Erin.

Jay glanced back at her, "What?"

"Nothing." She replied.

He nodded and they kept walking, getting into their car and then driving off, leaving Kelly behind at the post office. When they got back to the police station, the unit was already gathered, talking about everything they'd found.

"Halstead. What took you so long?" Voight asked.

Jay held up the papers. "We found something good. This is an article about a guy who got busted for transporting cocaine and these," he held up the receipts, "are two receipts. One for a moving truck and one for disposable phone. Erin, Charlie, Drake and whoever bought this guy the truck and then called it in. That's the set up the letter was talking about."

"Who?" Voight asked.

Burgess looked up at him. "Emilio Chavez." She answered.

Ruzek was the first to speak. "Emilio Chavez? Like the same guy we were just looking for?"

Voight nodded.

"Well that makes sense." Olinsky added, "Because when we interrogated Lopez about the guy who shot Lindsay, he said the guy was there picking up for a new dealer who had just gotten out of prison, probably Chavez. So he must have known who Lindsay was."

Voight nodded. "So we know who's after her and why, we just don't know where he is or where she's hiding out." He said before looking at Atwater. "What about the phone records?"

Atwater was holding a paper in his hands, he passed it to Voight. "She did call someone when she left the hospital and I traced the number back to a guy named James Long. He doesn't have a known place of residence, no credit card accounts, no bank accounts, nothing. Without this phone call, records would have said that he hasn't existed for the past 10 years."

Voight looked down at the paper. "It takes time and dedication to make sure you don't leave a paper trail. This guy is someone who doesn't want to be found."

Jay nodded slowly. "So Lindsay called him because she needs to disappear."

"Well apparently, he's an expert in that department so he should be able to help her." Burgess said.

Voight nodded, "The only problem is that if he helps her, it will be even harder for us to find her."

"Well maybe we shouldn't be looking for her." Ruzek said, "Maybe we should look for Chavez."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"What did Charlie say about Drake?" Jay asked Voight.

He shrugged, "Not much of anything. But finding Drake is irrelevant now. We need to focus on finding Chavez like we were doing before." He paused. "I want everyone out talking to CIs, anything you can find on Chavez is helpful. Halstead, you and Burgess try to find out more on James Long, people don't just disappear for no reason. I want to know why, alright?"

They all nodded and left in groups.

Everyone except Voight, who lingered and stood by Erin's desk. He looked down at it solemnly and touched her chair, "We're gonna find you, kid." He said, "I promise."


	4. James Long

It was late that night. He sat silently in his dark living room, twisting his ring absent-mindedly between his fingers. Slowly, he took in a deep breath and walked across his living room over to the window. It was dark outside and the streetlight on the street in front of his house was out, creating a large dark space in front of his house. Snow drifted to the ground, creating a white sheet over the yards and rooftops. If he hadn't been so anxious, he might have enjoyed the view.

But he couldn't.

He ran his hand along his chin, staring blankly. He was waiting, he had no idea when his guest was going to arrive.

He looked down. His watch read 11:45. It was almost midnight. He couldn't sit here and wait all night. He sighed frustratedly, the anticipation getting to him. He stood by the window for another 10 minutes before he noticed a hooded figure emerging from the darkness. He smiled. The person kept their head down and hands in their pockets as they approached his front door. He listened as they stood on his porch. Moments passed and then finally, he heard a soft knock before a small piece of paper slid under the door.

It was a picture.

He picked it up, looked at it briefly and then smiled, pulling the door open. "Erin Lindsay, it's been a long time."

She looked up, there was a smirk on her face, but annoyance in her eyes. "Yes it has been a long time. And it's been that long for a reason so don't give me that smile, "I missed you" bull because you and I both know that I only came to you because it was my last option." She said in one breath.

The man shook his head. "I help you escape imminent death and this is the thanks I get?" He muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Can I come in? It's freezing out here." Erin asked, shifting as she glanced at the snow fall increasing around her and piling on the shoulders on her jacket.

The man smirked and narrowed his eyes. "I have some questions first."

Erin shot him a glare, shivering slightly. "Alright, go ahead." She said, looking back at him irritatedly.

He nodded. "How did you get here?"

"Bus. I paid with cash." Erin shot back quickly, expecting that question.

"Were there cameras?"

Erin nodded. "Yea, but I sat in the back. There's a blind spot in the corner and I kept my hood up." She explained.

"Good." He muttered with a nod. "What about your phone?"

"I tossed it on the way over." Erin replied with a sigh.

"Gun?"

Erin smirked and glanced down, "In my pocket. Now, will you let me in? I'm freezing, I just got shot and I forgot my meds at the hospital so I'm not really in a good mood." She said, stifling a sigh.

The man smiled and moved out of the doorway so she could come in. He shut the door behind her, closing in the heat. "Nice picture by the way." He muttered, looking down at the picture of them when they were younger. He smirked. "Not very flattering for you though. I think it's the hair."

"Go to hell." Erin shot back at him quickly, unsympathetically, "You're a moron, you know that? I don't even know why I came to you."

The man chuckled, amused by her anger. "I know why you came to me." He shut the blinds on his window. "To disappear."

Erin nodded slowly, eyeing the shut blinds. She watched him shut the door and then suddenly, she started to feel nervous. She was locked in, the blinds were shut, there was no way out. But she had to trust him, it was the only way. "So you're gonna let me stay here?" She asked.

The man shook his head. "No, I'm staying here." He gestured to the comfortable living room as he sat down on the couch. "You and Kevin are staying in the attic that no one knows exists."

"Kevin is here?"

The man stepped towards her, ignoring her question and moving on to a new topic. "I hear you're a cop now." He paused for a moment, meeting her eyes. "How do I know you're not undercover, trying to bust me for something, huh?"

"Why would I wait 10 years to bust you now? I've known you were here the whole time. I could have come before now, but I didn't. And now I'm here, asking for your help, alright?" Erin said, holding his gaze steadily.

The man shook his head. "I don't believe you." He pointed to a line of coke on the table. "Prove it."

Erin looked down at the table and laughed humorlessly. "You think I'm gonna let you get me hooked on coke again?" She pushed his shoulder, "You ruined my life. But I protected you, I never turned you in so you owe me."

The man glared at her. "Oh come on, Erin. Quit playing that 'I'm the victim' crap. You were already a junkie, so much pot in your system that you couldn't remember your own name. I didn't ruin your life. You ruined it the moment you got wrapped into our group."

Erin gave him a long look. "I was barely 14." She said with a shake of her head. "You were 20."

"And Charlie was 26, but you still chose him over me."

Erin nodded and looked him over, from head to toe. "Because you're trash." She spat at him. "And the only reason you're not on the streets or in jail is because you decided to disappear. You're a coward. You ran away from your problems."

"Oh, _I_ ran away from _my _problems?" He smirked, "What are you doing right now, sweetheart? The same exact thing." He shook his head. "I don't want to argue. Can't we just act like old times?" He touched her arm.

Erin pulled away. "No. I'm not 14 anymore." She said, "But you're still the same trash that I remember." She finished before turning and walking into the kitchen to get something to eat. "God, just because you disappear doesn't mean that you can't go to the grocery store every once in a while." She said, staring into the mostly empty fridge.

"I thought I heard that voice."

Erin turned around to see another man standing at the top of the stairs, grinning. "Kevin." She greeted with a smile.

He smiled back, a large smile that stretched widely across his face before stomping heavily down the stairs. He was a big guy, as in tall and muscular. He towered over Erin as he walked up and gave her a hug.

"I love what you've done with your hair." She pointed to his buzz cut.

Kevin chuckled and nodded. "You look good too, Erin. Finally cleaned yourself up, good for you." He smirked, "Still sound like you smoke two packs a day though."

Erin chuckled and slapped his chest.

"No, I'm kidding." He said with a smile.

She shrugged. "Hey, I saw your dad the other day. He recognized me when we were interviewing him, said that you don't talk to him that much anymore, but he'd heard you were on a hit-list and hiding out. Who would have thought you'd be here of all places?"

Kevin nodded. "I couldn't tell him about any of this, it'd be too messy." He muttered. "But I did hear you were a cop now, that's really great. Finally, there's someone representing us on the force." He smiled.

Erin grinned and nodded before changing to a more serious tone. "So you got a letter too?"

Kevin looked down at her and nodded in reply. "He's finally out, lucky Charlie's safe in jail though." He rolled his eyes.

"Ironic." Erin said with a dry laugh, "Because I'm the one who put him in there."

Kevin chuckled and raised his eyebrows. "You put Charlie away?" He shook his head in disbelief.

Erin shrugged and smirked, leaning against the kitchen counter. "He came back to town and tried to start things back up again, like nothing had changed, even tried to use the Sandoval thing against me and Annie." She shook her head, "So Voight and I got him."

"He deserved to be put away, it's just bad timing, I guess." Kevin said with a shrug.

Erin nodded slowly. "Who else is on the list? Do you know?" She asked curiously.

"There's no way to be sure…" Kevin looked up at the ceiling, thinking. "But the people that I do know are on it are you, me, Drake, Charlie….ummm…" He trailed off.

The other man Erin had been talking to before walked over, "Patrick, Jenna and Graham…but he already got to Jenna and I'm pretty sure Graham skipped town. And he already got Mike, Rachel and Leo. As far as I know, that's everyone."

"So where's Patrick?" Erin asked, remembering him to be a scrawny kid in their group who used to worship Charlie and do his dirty work to gain his trust.

The man shrugged and sighed. "Last I heard, he was gonna go to the police, but I doubt he went through with it."

Erin nodded slowly, slightly disappointed to hear that the people on the streets didn't trust the cops to help them if they were in trouble. She sighed. "Okay, well as long as I'm under the radar here then we're good."

"So how's Voight doing?" The man asked with a crooked smile.

Erin looked over at him, surprised that he would bring that up. "Still hates you." She gave him a sarcastic smile.

He smirked, amused by her. "So I guess forgiveness Is totally out of the question then?"

"You want forgiveness?" She raised her eyebrows, "Why now?"

He shrugged. "I don't want him to kill me. You know that's what he's gonna do if he ever gets his hands on me. I heard what he did to Charlie 12 years ago and all he really did was rough you up a little bit."

Erin looked back at him, "He broke my hand, sprained my ankle, knocked me out and then left me there to die." She paused, "But then again…he didn't get me hooked on coke when I was 14 so…" She shot him a glare.

The man gave her a hard look and opened his mouth to say something, but Kevin cut in.

"C'mon Erin." He said, stopping the previous conversation. "I'll show you up to the attic."

* * *

At District 21, Voight, Olinsky and Ruzek were back at the station going over information from their CIs. It wasn't much. Apparently, Chavez had inserted himself into a coke ring and had started circulating coke and heroin that he'd brought in from suppliers. But no one knew where he did his business from. He was too new for everyone to know how he operated. But what everyone did seem to know was that he was serious and he had a lot of people under him, waiting to do his dirty work.

Antonio was with Atwater and they were talking to the prison, asking about Chavez' visitors and phone calls while he did his time. He had to have set up this group while still in hail to get that many people working for him.

But they came back with nothing very useful.

Records showed that Chavez' brother had visited him a lot and it was safe to assume that the younger Chavez brother had set everything up on the outside. Neither of the brothers had known places of residences either, which made it hard to even start to try and figure out where they were.

The only people who had actually found something good were Halstead and Burgess.

When they walked upstairs after doing the research, Voight could see the excitement in their eyes.

"What did you find?"

Jay was holding papers. He hung them on the whiteboard. "James Long." He pointed to the pictures. "Born in Chicago, would be 27, has 1 brother."

"Would be 27?"

Jay nodded quickly, carrying on. "Everything in James' records are normal until 2004, when he was reported missing by his brother. The police opened a file, but before it reached 24 hours, James' credit card was used so they dropped the case even though James' brother insisted he was missing. Ever since then, James has been a ghost. He pays his taxes and car payments, but other than that, he's completely non-existent."

Ruzek shrugged. "Why?"

"That's what Burgess and I thought and then we figured it out. What if someone stole James' identity after he died or was killed. That's why his brother insists he's missing and why he doesn't have a job or anything, but he can still pay his bills no problem." Jay paused, "He has to be some kind of drug dealer or something to be able to do that."

"It is a good way to drop your past, become someone else." Voight said with a shrug, "Any idea where he lives?"

Burgess stepped up, "We didn't, but then we realized that James' mother passed away 10 years ago and left her house to her sons. As far as we know, James' brother lives in Idaho now so we looked up electric and utility bills and it looks like someone has been paying to stay in that house."

Voight grabbed his jacket. "Let's go."

It took them 15 minutes to drive to the address, but by then it was dark outside.

But they were desperate.

"Ruzek, Halstead, I want you two to go in. Say you're there about a water contamination problem on the block. Say you need to check his plumbing. Take a look around and look for any signs of Lindsay. The moment he gets squirrelly, take him." Voight ordered.

* * *

Erin sat comfortably on the couch, trying to relax. Her head was still pounding and the world felt like it was spinning. Closing her eyes made it worse so she stared at the blank, white wall in front of her, trying to focus.

"You look like statue." The man, 'James Long', said from where he was sitting in the chair next to her. He smirked.

Erin turned her head. "You look like a criminal." She paused, "Oh wait…" She said sarcastically.

Kevin, who was sitting in the kitchen, laughed.

'James' frowned and was about to say something when they all heard footsteps coming up the front porch stairs. His eyes widened and he stood up just as they all heard knocking on the front door.

'Upstairs.' he mouthed to Kevin and Erin.

They nodded, both making their way towards the stairs as someone called out from the front porch.

"Chicago Heating and Air." The voice said.

Erin froze.

She knew that voice.

Quietly, she turned around and walked to the window, receiving an alarmed look from 'James'. She moved the curtain ever so slightly and looked out. There, on the porch, dressed in blue worker's outfits, stood Halstead and Ruzek. She backed away from the window and moved towards 'James'. Barely a whisper, she spoke. "It's my team." She breathed, "They know who you are."

'James' tensed and looked at the door quickly before turning back to Erin and whispering to her what they were going to do.

* * *

They were standing out there in the cold for a long time.

"Chicago Heating and Air." Ruzek tried again for the third time. They waited for a few more moments until finally, the door came open to reveal a man who was definitely not the same man photographed to be James Long.

"Hello sir." Ruzek said with a smile. "We're sorry to inconvenience you, but it seems that there is a water contamination problem on this block and we need to check your plumbing."

'James Long' gave them a long look. "Can't it wait until tomorrow?" He asked softly.

Jay shook his head. "It's protocol that all houses must be checked within a few hours of the contamination." He told the man.

'James' nodded slowly. "Well come in then." He said, "But be quick about it."

Ruzek and Jay walked inside and slowly made their way to kitchen. Nothing looked suspicious to them. It didn't look like anyone was staying there except for 'James Long'. They made their way to the sink, opening the cabinet doors and starting to look at the pipes.

"You live alone in here?" Ruzek asked as he stood back up.

Jay continued looking under the sink.

'James' shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"We were told to take down how many people were living in each residence." He came up with off the top of his head, looking at 'James' expectantly.

He shook his head. "Just me." He gave a shrug.

Adam and Jay could both hear Voight in their ears as 'James' answered that last question.

"He's lying."

They had both assumed the same thing. He looked nervous, kind of fidgety so they figured he knew something was off about them already.

"Try to get a look on the second floor." Voight said.

Jay stood up. "Plumbing looks good here, we just need to check upstairs and then we'll be out of your hair." He said as he turned towards the flight of stairs at the back of the house.

Ruzek followed him after hearing no objections from 'James'.

Jay was halfway up the stairs, ready to start looking around when he heard a crashing noise from behind him.

* * *

Erin and Kevin were crouched in the attic. It was small and very cramped, only big enough for them to sleep in at night. They stood waiting by the door, listening.

"Plumbing looks good here, we just need to check upstairs and then we'll be out of your hair." Jay's voice boomed from downstairs.

And then they heard footsteps making their way up the stairs.

Erin looked at Kevin. "We have to go now. Before they get up here." She said, pushing the door open quietly.

They made their way through the empty bedroom to the back window, which 'James' had told her led to a ladder down the back of the house. She peered out the window and saw the ladder. At the same time, she heard a crash come from downstairs.

"Hey!" Jay yelled.

Erin threw open the window and rushed out, grabbing the rusty and rickety ladder carefully. She made her way down, Kevin following. But as they scaled the back side of the house, Erin heard a familiar voice.

"What did you do with Erin? I know she's here! I know she came here, looking for you so where is she? Where is she?!"

It was Kelly.

In a daze for a moment, Erin lost her concentration and her foot missed a rung on the ladder. Before she could even try to react, she was falling.

But luckily, there was a dumpster waiting to catch her. Even though it was better than concrete, she still landed on something hard in the trash and the impact caused her shoulder to throb with a sharp, sudden pain.

She let out a low moan.

Kevin looked down when he heard her, panicked. He started going faster down the ladder. A few minutes later, he was next to her in the trash. "Are you alright?"

Erin nodded slowly, holding her shoulder.

"Is that your new boyfriend?" Kevin asked with a small smile, referring to the aggressive voice they'd both heard a few minutes earlier, the voice that had caused her to fall.

Erin shot him a look. "Not the time." She said quietly, starting to move.

But she froze when she heard Ruzek and Jay coming around the backside of the house.

* * *

'James' was panicking. He couldn't let them go up the stairs, that wouldn't give Erin and Kevin any time to get out the window. He weighed his options.

If they were cops, then they probably already knew who he was and were going to arrest him anyway so what would be the harm of doing something crazy?

Following them towards the stairs, 'James' picked a large vase off a shelf. It looked nice and expensive and he figured it belonged to the people who owned this house.

But he didn't have time to care.

He held the vase tightly in his hand and walked up behind the blonde-headed officer. Quickly, he brought it down onto his head.

It broke on impact and brought the officer to his knees, blood slightly wetting his hair.

At the sound of the crash, the brunette officer turned around, but as he did, 'James' turned too and ran for the door.

* * *

"Hey!" Jay said as he saw 'James' dash towards the door, but he didn't follow because he saw Antonio running up before 'James' had even gotten off the porch.

He stopped and crouched beside Ruzek, "Hey man, you alright?"

Ruzek nodded slowly and touched his head tenderly. "Stings a little." He said with a shrug. "But I'm good."

"I got him. I have the suspect in custody." Antonio's voice said in their earpieces. "How ya doing Ruzek?"

Ruzek chuckled. "We're all good here." He said with a smile.

Jay smirked, helped Ruzek up and a few moments later they both heard yelling outside.

"What did you do with Erin? I know she's here! I know she came here looking for you so where is she? Where is she?!" Jay recognized it to be Kelly. He shook his head. "Come on." He said. "Let's go up and see what he didn't want us to find." He suggested, wanting to avoid Kelly.

They went up and searched the rooms, finding nothing except an open window so they went back down the stairs and out the back door.

They walked out and stood in front of a dumpster, looking around.

Jay shook his head. "I don't get it. There had to be something upstairs that he didn't want us to find because it was when we were going up there that he freaked out."

Ruzek nodded slowly and looked up, noticing a ladder on the back wall, but he didn't really think anything of it. It wasn't unusual to see a ladder on the backside of a house.

Jay sighed and kicked a can that laying was on the ground. "What's Severide doing here?" He asked with a shake of his head. "That guy needs to mind his own business."

Ruzek looked at Jay. "First of all, we're cops. We pick up trash, not kick it." He said as he walked over, picked up the can that Jay had kicked and threw it into the nearby dumpster. And then he continued, "And second, Severide is just desperate. I don't think he should be here, but I don't blame him either. I mean, come on…first his sister, now his girlfriend, it's gotta be hard."

Jay let out a sigh, remembering Kelly's sister's disappearance. He nodded slowly, considering what it would be like to be in his shoes. "You're right." He said, shaking his head. "It must be hard and I don't blame him for reacting this way, but I don't like him for it either."

"Whatever, buddy." Ruzek said, a smirk on his face.

And then they both heard a noise come from the dumpster.

Ruzek looked over and saw the ladder again. Finally, he put it together. The open window, the ladder, the dumpster. He pulled out his gun and walked over, Jay behind him.

He was sure there was someone in there, but as they looked in, it was just full of trash.

Jay let out a sigh and reached into the dumpster, picking up Erin's badge. "She tossed her badge…" He said, tucking it into his pocket. "But she was here."

* * *

Erin held her breath as she listened to Jay and Ruzek talk by the dumpster. She heard them talking about Kelly. She had no idea that Jay didn't like him and she didn't understand why. But she didn't have the effort or time to worry about it. She did feel bad for Kelly though. She had left him in desperation, alone, just like his sister had and she hated that. She wished she could go to him or take him with her, but she knew that would only put him in even more danger.

Erin looked over at Kevin, who was squished beside her. He barely fit in the small crack underneath the dumpster where they were hiding. Trying to switch positions, Kevin moved slightly, but it made more noise than either of them had expected.

Kevin froze, staring at Erin with wide eyes.

They heard both men move towards the dumpster and look inside.

Erin's face was inches away from the front edge of Jay's boot. When she let out a breath, she accidentally blew snow onto his shoe. The only reason they probably didn't see them under there was because it was so dark outside. During the day, they would have been found already. They heard Jay dig through the trash and pull something out.

"She tossed her badge…" He told Ruzek.

Erin cursed silently, it must have came unclipped from her belt when she fell. It was a stupid mistake.

"But she was here." Jay finished, moving away from the dumpster with Ruzek following.

Erin watched as Ruzek's feet disappeared from her view and faded away while Jay lingered. He waited by the dumpster for a few minutes before speaking:

"Erin, I don't know if you're out here, but I have a feeling you are." Jay said with a sigh. "And I just want you to know we're trying and we will get him. So just hang in there, alright?"

Erin bit her lip and shook her head, her heart aching. She wanted to crawl out, to talk to him, but she stayed there in the snow and watched him walk away.

Kevin scooted out from under the dumpster and she followed. He looked her over. "Shoulder?"

"It's okay." She said, moving it slightly. "Where do we go from here?"

Kevin looked around, squinting at the streetlight above them. "The streets." He said as he starting walking.

Erin gulped, following him. But she paused where Jay had been standing and looked down. While he had been talking, she had noticed him drop something. And now, she saw it sitting there in the snow.

His earpiece.

Slowly, she picked it up and put it in her pocket before putting her hood up and jogging to catch up with Kevin.

* * *

Voight and Antonio were sitting in their car, watching the house from the street. They were both quiet, listening to the conversation with their earpieces.

"We were told to take down how many people were living in each residence." Ruzek said.

There was a slight pause before 'James' replied. "Just me." He told them.

But Voight didn't believe that for a second. He gave Antonio a look before talking to Halstead and Ruzek. "He's lying." He said. He knew that Erin was there, he could feel it and they were not going to let her slip away because of 'James'. "Try to get a look on the second floor."

Jay spoke within the next few seconds. "Well everything looks good here, we just need to get a look upstairs and then we'll be out of your hair."

Voight and Antonio listened, heard no reply from 'James'. They could hear movement after that and then loud footsteps as they walked up the stairs.

A few moments passed and then they heard a loud crashing noise that sounded like glass breaking.

Voight threw the car door open. "Everybody go!" He yelled as they all heard Jay asking Ruzek if he was okay.

They moved towards the door and as they got close, it flew open and a man rushed out.

He fled down the sidewalk and Antonio followed. It was a short chase, the man was obviously out of shape so Antonio caught up with him easily and shoved him against a car, cuffing him roughly. "I got him. I have the suspect in custody." He paused, "How ya doing, Ruzek?"

Antonio smirked and nodded, walking the man back over towards the house. He squirmed, trying to get out of Antonio's grasp, but it was no use, his grip was too tight.

The only thing that did throw Antonio off was the sight of Kelly Severide walking towards him.

"Hey Severide, what are you-"

But he didn't get to finish because Kelly walked up and got right in 'James' face, "What did you do with Erin? I know she's here! I know she came here looking for you so where is she? Where is she?!" He yelled.

Atwater rushed over and grabbed Kelly, pulling him away from 'James'. "Come on man…" He said.

But Kelly pulled himself out of Atwater's grasp and stormed off down the street.

Voight, who had been inside the house, came outside when he heard yelling, but as he spotted 'James', he immediately forgot about the yelling. He trudged over to Antonio.

"Sorry boss." He said, referring to the incident with Kelly, "He must have followed us."

But Voight wasn't listening. He looked down at 'James', who cowered in fear, and grabbed the scrawny man by the collar of his shirt. "It's you." He said, voice low. He gripped his shirt so tightly that his knuckles were white.

'James' gave him a weak smile. "Hey Voight…long time, no see."

Voight didn't smile. He just reared back and punched 'James' hard across the face with so much force that he fell into the snow, blood dripping onto the white ground from his nose.

"Sorry." Voight said to Antonio, who was completely stumped. "I just promised myself that if I ever saw him again, I would do that…"

The rest of the unit gathered around just as Antonio asked the question they were all wondering. "Who is he?" He gestured the man on the ground.

Voight roughly lifted him up by the back of his shirt. "This…" He said, pointing to the man, "This is Drake Pugliese."


	5. Old Times

It was a raw 22 degrees that night in Chicago. Snow covered the ground and the wind blew mercilessly**, **making the snowflakes whip by like bullets. They walked with their hoods up and their heads down through the night streets of Chicago.

Erin walked next to Kevin, secretly thankful that he was so large because his height and size helped to slightly block the harsh wind.

After about an hour of walking, they made their way down an alley and sat behind a dumpster, curling together for warmth.

Kevin smiled a little. "Reminds you of old times, doesn't it?" He asked.

Erin shook her head with a smirk. "Yea and not in a good way." She said, looking around. This was way too familiar. As a teenager, she had done this countless times in the cold, the heat and the rain. She looked over to her right and saw a young girl sitting next to a shopping cart full of random contents.

Erin looked at her and saw herself. Lonely, cold and on the streets with no idea how much better the world could be. She looked away from the girl and back at Kevin. "What about you?" She asked, trying to get her mind off their situation. "How have you been doing?"

Kevin shrugged and looked away from her. "I didn't get out like you did. I stuck around until our group dispersed and then I was on my own. Without knowing it then, that group ending was the best thing that could have happened. I went back home, my dad helped me kick the drugs and then I got back in school."

Erin smiled and rubbed his arm. "Good for you." She said, glad that he had cleaned himself up too.

Kevin nodded slowly, staring at the ground in front of them, a dark cloudiness in his eyes. "It was good." He said with a sad smile. "But it didn't last. I got pulled back in when I couldn't find a job after college."

"What's your degree?"

"Psychology."

Erin nodded slowly. "There weren't any jobs for that?" She asked, finding that hard to believe.

Kevin shook his head. "Not with someone who has the colorful police records that I do." He let out a sigh. "So I went back, started dealing small-time. It was good money. And then I got hooked again." He shook his head. "And here I am."

Erin looked at him. She could see it in his eyes now. Bloodshot, wide…he needed a fix, she could tell.

"Kevin…" She shook her head.

He nodded. "I know, I know." He said with a sigh. "I'm not good like you, Erin. I wasn't meant to make it out…some of us aren't."

"But you are, Kevin. I'll help you, after this…I'll help you get out." Erin offered, taking his hand.

Kevin stared at her for a moment and then looked at the ground. "I can't." He said, "I don't fit in there."

Erin looked at him seriously, "I didn't either, but you will. Just try, for me?" She looked up at him.

Kevin nodded slowly. "Okay…" He said uneasily.

Erin smiled and nodded, satisfied. She scooted closer to him, hoping that would help to warm her up. He put his arm around her and pulled her closer, which helped warm them both up considerably.

But they were both still shivering, the snow falling on them, wetting their clothes.

The girl in the corner reached into her shopping cart and pulled out a blanket. Silently, she threw the thick wool quilt towards them.

"Thank you." Erin said quietly, remembering the nobility these people had. They watched out for each other and that was something she missed, the feeling that you were all in it together, a community of people, just trying to make it through. She loved that.

With the blanket, they were able to warm up a little more, but it was still freezing. They both tried to sleep, but in that weather, it was impossible.

After a while, Erin couldn't take it anymore. "Is there anywhere else we can go?" She asked, voice soft.

Kevin shrugged. "Not unless you want us to try to find an abandoned house we can use."

Erin shook her head. That didn't sound promising. She looked across the street at the motel. She'd been eyeing for a while, thinking.

Kevin followed her gaze. "Do you have any money for a room?"

"Not enough." Erin said, "But I do have an idea." She added before slowly getting to her feet.

She took the blanket back to the girl, also reaching into her pocket and giving the girl the small clump of cash that she did have left. "For food." She said, hoping that she wouldn't use it to buy drugs or alcohol.

The girl nodded, taking the money. "Thank you." She said, her voice a whisper.

Erin gave a nod and then walked back over to Kevin. "Come on." She said, leading him to the sidewalk and then across the street to the motel. There were a lot of doors ahead of them. Three stories, all shut and all locked.

She stopped in the parking lot. "Cameras, there and there." She pointed to the two ends of the walkway. "There's a blind spot there." She pointed to the rooms on the far left end of all three stories.

Kevin nodded slowly. "But how are we going to get in?"

Erin nodded to the housekeeper pushing her cart down the walkway on the first floor. "You distract her, I'll get the master key from her cart."

Kevin nodded. "You got it." He said, walking across the parking lot and up the walkway where the housekeeper was. He walked casually, as if looking for his room. It wasn't until he was a few feet away from her that he put his plan into action.

He walked past her nonchalantly before "tripping" over something on her cart and falling stiffly to the ground.

The maid heard the noise and gasped. "Sir, are you alright?" She asked, her accent heavy. She sounded and looked Russian, but he wasn't completely sure. Her hair was dark and so were her eyes. She also looked to be on the older side with wise wrinkles on her face and faded gray patches in her hair. She moved towards him and helped him off the ground.

Erin made her way down the walkway towards them, walking slowly. They were too close to the cart now for her to steal the key, unnoticed so she hung back and waited.

But Kevin had thought of a second half to his plan too. He pretended that his ankle was hurt.

"I call doctor." She said, looking concerned. She started to turn back to her cart.

But Kevin stopped her. "No, no doctor. I'm okay. I just need to get to my room, would you mind helping me there? My wife is there waiting and she'll take me to the hospital."

"What room?"

"217." Kevin told her. "It's one floor up. I don't think I can do the stairs by myself."

"I help you." The woman said before putting her arm around him and starting to help him down the walkway.

Kevin smiled. "Thank you." He said, limping along.

Erin waited until they were going up the stairs to go over to the cart. She looked through the cleaning supplies quickly as Kevin entertained the maid.

"So I think I heard a bit of an accent." He said with a friendly smile. "Can I ask where you are from?"

The woman looked at him for a moment. "St. Petersburg."

Kevin nodded, he knew that place. "Russia?" He asked, confirming his suspicions.

The woman nodded. "We migrate here for jobs." She paused, "My son, Adrian, is American lawyer now." She smiled proudly.

"Your son is a lawyer?" He asked, "Then what are you doing working here? You can just retire and go live with him."

The woman shook her head. "I always work."

"Even though you don't have to?" Kevin asked.

She nodded.

"What about relaxation? Sitting on a beach somewhere, no more responsibilities." He suggested, wishing he could have all those things for himself.

"I always work." She repeated.

Erin smirked and kept looking through the cart. She found a small black box with a metal lock, holding it shut. She knew the master key would be there and maybe some money. So she put it in her jacket and walked away, head down so the cameras wouldn't be able to see her face.

She walked around the corner and waited, listening to Kevin.

"Your room is here?" She asked, nodding to room 217.

Kevin smiled and nodded, letting go of her and walking over to the door. "Yes, this is it. Thank you so much, Sonya." He smiled.

She smiled a little bit and started to walk away.

Kevin pretended to be looking for his room key for a few moments and then when she was a few yards away, he started to jog the other direction. As he did, he looked over his shoulder, nervous that she would turn around and see him running, but she didn't.

He went around the corner of the building, meeting Erin there in the darkness.

"Did you and Sonya enjoy yourselves?" She asked jokingly, her breath the only thing he could see in the pitch black darkness they were standing in.

Kevin chuckled. "Actually we did. She was a cool lady." He said with a shrug. "Did you get the key?"

Erin nodded slowly, but when she realized he couldn't see her, she continued. "Yea I got it." She said, grabbing his sleeve. "Come on." She walked out of their dark corner and into the parking lot where, under the lights, they were able to see each other again. She held up the small black box.

Kevin examined it. "You're sure it's in there?" He asked, eyes flickering to hers.

"Nope."

Kevin stared at her, surprised by her honesty. He smirked. "Well…uh, okay. I guess we'll find out then." He shrugged before looking back to the box. "How are we supposed to get it open?"

Erin stared down at the small metal lock, squinting at it. It looked pretty thin. "Got a light?" She asked, touching the lock carefully between her fingers. It was definitely thin, but also very strong.

Kevin nodded slowly and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his lighter and handed it to her. "I don't suppose you want the joint too?" He added with a grin.

Erin gave him a glance as she looked down at the lock. "Oh, you're funny." She said sarcastically. She lit the lighter and held it up to the thin part of the metal lock.

Within a few minutes, it started to melt. Erin could feel the heat from the lighter on her hands and it provided a slight relief to the stinging coldness on her skin. As the thin part of the lock continued to melt away, she was able to pull it apart and then open the box.

Inside, she found the master key and 250 dollars in cash. She assumed it was tips or spare money that Sonya had collected.

"Score." Kevin said, chuckling.

Erin nodded slowly and pulled the master key out before shutting the box again.

They walked up to the door in the blind spot of the cameras and knocked.

"Housekeeping." Erin said and when she got no reply, she used the master key to open it.

The warmth that radiated out of the room was intoxicating, but before she went in, Erin put the master key back in the black box before setting it on the ground and sliding it down towards the housekeeping cart that was still sitting alone on the walkway. "Now she'll just think she dropped it."

Kevin nodded slowly before entering the room.

Erin followed, the feeling of being warm almost seeming foreign to her. She looked in the mirror and watched as her cheeks started to regain color. She sat down on the bed and let out a deep breath. "Thank god." She breathed, almost to herself.

"Thank god is right. To be honest, I think we would have died if we'd stayed out there any longer." Kevin said, sarcasm clear in his voice.

Erin rolled her eyes, "Shut up." She said as she laid down on her bed.

Kevin rubbed his hands together and then walked towards the door. "I'm gonna go light up." He held up his lighter, "Want a hit?" He asked as he pulled the door open.

Erin sat up and shook her head. "No thanks."

Kevin nodded. "Well just let me back in, okay? I'll knock six times."

Erin chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, just go."

"Cranky." He said playfully before walking out and shutting the door behind him.

Erin smiled and when the door shut, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the earpiece that Jay had dropped. She'd been dying to listen to it for hours, but she also didn't want Kevin to know about it just yet either. She looked down at the small black piece, thankful. With this, she would be able to hear what the unit was doing and if they were making progress in finding Chavez. She would be in the loop and that would definitely help.

Slowly, she switched the earpiece on and lifted it to her ear, making sure to be silent so they wouldn't be able to hear her on their end. For a moment, she heard static and then, to her surprise, a voice came through.

It took her a few moments to recognize it to be Jay. So, sitting quietly, she listened.

"-and I don't know if we're going to find him or if anyone will find him, but I hope we do because there's no way any of us are going to drop this case. Ever. I just hope wherever you are, you're being careful….because this guy, as far as I know, is a force to be reckoned with."

He paused.

Erin bit her lip, realizing the real reason that Jay had dropped it: to talk to her. She smiled a little bit and listened as he continued.

"I bet you're probably not even listening. I bet I'm probably just talking to a pile of snow behind a dumpster, but I feel like this is gonna help me…and if you are listening, I hope this helps you too. I just feel kind of lost. First, Antonio almost died twice and then Jin was killed and now this? It's crazy. Our job, doing this every day, it's crazy. But that's not the only reason this case is driving me up the wall. I'm also finding out all of these things…about you. And I just don't get it. Why don't you talk to anyone? Me, Voight, or even Kelly. Anyone. I can't wrap my head around it. I'd listen, I would, but you never talk." He paused, "And I don't know what to do about that."

"I found the letters from your parents in your deposit box." He sighed, "I'm really sorry, Erin, I am. Your life must have sucked before…but you, you know, you turned it around. And I respect the hell out of that. I just…I don't know if this is weird, but I just…I miss you around here."

Erin felt a tear slip down her cheek as she heard vulnerability in his voice. She wanted to reply, but her instincts told her to stay quiet.

"I wonder if you're scared or…or alone. I hope you're not. And I hope Chavez didn't get to you already and you're dead in a ditch somewhere. I don't know what I'd do. I wish I could have a sign, something, to tell me that you're okay and that you're safe." He let out a long sigh. "But I probably won't get it. So all I have is me, sitting here, talking to no one."

Erin shook her head, but didn't say anything.

"I just really hope you're okay, everyone does. Especially Voight, I've never seen him this way before. It's weird. But he's definitely taking this hard and it's kind of throwing us off. I can't even imagine what's gonna happen to Chavez when we find him. We're all just tiptoeing around him, waiting for him to explode. And he's not the only one. Antonio, Ruzek, Olinsky, all of us. I mean, the only reason I'm talking to you right now is because Voight sent me home because I snapped at Antonio, said I needed rest. I don't need rest. I need to be doing something. So I'm doing this."

Pause.

"Severide's been around." Jay said slowly, carefully. It sounded like he was dreading talking about this. "I kind of bit his head off though. We got into an argument…about you. I just…I don't like how he's coming around just because you're gone. It's like he wasn't to be the one to save you even though he has no idea how this stuff works. I mean, just showing up and harassing one of our suspects is not only unprofessional, but it's stupid. So stupid." He sighed. "But I guess I see where he's coming from and he definitely cares about you. I just don't know if he's right for you. Is that weird for me to say? I don't know. We're friends, partners and I'd like to say I know you pretty well and I just can't see you guys together." He stopped for a moment. "But what do I know? I bet he makes you happy so whatever, it just doesn't seem like you know each other. I don't know…"

And then Jay was silent for a long time. At first, Erin thought he was gone, but then she heard him sigh again.

"This is stupid." He finally said. "This whole idea was stupid. Did I really think you would actually find the earpiece on the ground? I'm literally talking to myself. I'm going insane and I have no idea what to do about it."

Erin closed her eyes and wiped another tear off her face. She wanted to talk to him so badly, but doing that would be stupid. She was in hiding and she needed to be invisible, untraceable. Talking to him would just give him false hope and give her a false sense of security. For all she knew, Chavez could have tapped their police wires already and be listening to every word of this. And she couldn't take that chance.

So slowly, she switched the earpiece off and put it back into her pocket.

Sonya finally reached her cart again. It had been at least 20 minutes since she'd left that man at his wife's door. She was 64 years old, it was cold, her arthritis was acting up and there were just too many stairs. Slowly, she started to push the cart down the hall. A few moments later, she reached the next room she was going to clean. She knocked and when she got no reply, she reached for her small black box.

It was gone.

"Chyort voz'mi!" She slurred, digging through her stuff. It was Russian for damn it. She turned, retracing her steps and to her relief, the box was sitting on the ground a few yards away. She assumed that she'd dropped it. Groaning, she picked it up and started making her way back to the cart when she heard a noise behind her.

She turned around.

There, standing outside the door at the end of the walkway, was the man she had helped before. He looked fine now, no limp or anything. He knocked on the door loudly and obnoxiously. She counted the knocks as they happened.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Weird, she thought.

A few moments later, a woman answered the door. She looked to be about the same age as the man, but much smaller in size than him. She smiled when she saw him and the pair exchanged some playful banter before entering the room together.

She tilted her head, staring at the closed door where they had just been. Why would that man lie about his injury? Was he cheating on his wife? That was the only logical reason she could come up with. She lost interest in it quickly and decided to carry on with her work.

When she turned around again, she saw three guys walking towards her, all dressed fully in black. They were large and one of them held a crowbar in his hand, gripping it with intensity. She stopped, frozen, eyeing the weapon.

Two of them were Hispanic while the third looked Italian. They didn't seem to be looking at her, it almost seemed like they didn't know she existed. She stood rigid, hoping they would just walk by.

The two Hispanic men did.

But the Italian guy, he stopped by her. Luckily, he was one of the three that wasn't carrying a weapon. He looked down at her, met her eyes, his own a deep, warm brown. He grabbed her arms and pulled her close. "We were never here, you got it?" He spoke quickly, harshly. "You saw nothing. Say anything to anyone or to the police and we will kill Adrian, your son. He's a lawyer, right? Lives in an apartment on West Broad? For now, he's safe. Open your mouth and it's another story, we clear?"

Sonya nodded quickly, thinking of Adrian. She bit her lip and watched as the two Hispanic men went to the door at the end of the walkway. They knocked, but the door didn't open.

"Not a word, you understand?" The Italian man asked as he watched the other two men at the door. He looked down at her briefly for an answer.

Sonya looked up at him for a moment, "I understand." She replied before turning her attention back to the two guys outside the door. She watched, horrified, as the man with the crowbar pried the door open with ease.

There was a lot of yelling and commotion after that. The volume rose quickly, making the words inaudible. She was able to pick out a few here and there: police, coke, gun, leverage, Chavez, Voight, and please were common in their conversation.

And then she heard it.

The sound sliced through the air mercilessly until it reached Sonya's ears.

The metallic, unmistakable sound of a gunshot.

Sonya watched, tears in her eyes as she saw a bright flash in the window.

A loud struggle followed, ending in a few groans and screams and then…

Silence.

To Sonya, it felt like the earth stood still.

She stood frozen to the spot she was standing in. The only part of her moving were her hands, both shaking uncontrollably at her sides. The man with the fake leg injury walked out first, limping for real now. One of the Hispanic men followed, holding the first man by the collar of his shirt. In his other hand, a crowbar. The second Hispanic man followed after him, the woman slung over his shoulder, completely limp. Blood dripped to the ground from her head.

The Italian man behind Sonya moved past her and walked towards the other two men, but not before taking one last moment to turn back around to Sonya.

"Shhh…" He said with a menacing smile on his face. Slowly, he turned back around and followed the other men out to the parking lot.

They weaved through the cars quickly, wasting no time. A black van was parking in the back corner of the parking lot. The three men climbed in and the woman was dumped in the back like she was trash. She watched as they slid the doors shut and sped away.

Sonya stood in that spot for a long time after they were gone. Should she call the police? Would they be able to protect Adrian? She thought about it for a long time, went through her options over and over again until finally, she turned back to her cart and slowly continued to push it down the walkway, as if nothing had happened.


	6. Liquid X

"What do you know?" Voight asked, leaning over the interrogation table towards Drake, his eyes harsh and piercing. His face was blank and unreadable.

Drake stared back, unfazed. He knew police, he knew Voight and he wasn't going to let his intimidation tactics get to him. "Why should I tell _you?_ I'm going to the bottom of the lake either way so…" He shrugged.

Voight glared at him, the hatred obvious in his eyes. "If you help us find this guy then maybe it doesn't have to end up like that." He said with a shrug.

"You know, that almost sounds like you're proposing forgiveness. Detective Voight forgiving me? I never thought I'd see the day." Drake said with a smug smile on his face. He knew just how to get under Voight's skin.

The detective didn't seem to have a react. He leaned in, face inches away from Drake's. "Make no mistake." He said, voice quiet. "I will _never_ forgive you for what you did. I think you are scum. I think you belong behind bars, _or worse._ But if you are considering helping us, I can offer you another option. Either way, I am _going_ to get my answers."

"Still as charming as ever, Voight." Drake chuckled.

Voight glared at him. "This isn't a game. There are lives on the line, alright? For the first time in your life, why don't you just do the right thing?"

Drake shrugged. "Incentive, I guess."

"What?"

"The reason that I don't want to do the right thing for the first time in my life: I don't have any incentive. Sure, I don't want to be killed, but that's not enough for me. What else you got?" He leaned forward, interested in what the detectives reply would be.

But Voight was done playing. "Nothing." He said, frustrated. "I'm done negotiating with you. I've got something else in mind." He gave an intimidating smile.

Drake met his eyes, smiling back. He waited a long time. "Can I get a glass of water?"

"No."

"Fine." He finally said. "I guess I have no rights, but whatever. Let's just get this over with. What is it that you want to know?"

"Tell me about Chavez."

Drake nodded, expecting that. "We set him up, plain and simple. Poor guy was just starting out, but he was dealing on our turf. He was in the making to be competition for us so we knew we had to take him out. We got Erin, who was like 16 or 17, Kevin, 19, and this other kid Patrick, who was 17, to do all the dirty work. They filled up the truck with coke. We bought the phone and called in the tip, but Erin was the real key. She got Chavez there. The cops came pretty soon after that and took him. So that's why he's after us." He shrugged. "As of now, I know he's dealing coke again, but I'm not sure where. Someone mentioned the south side when I was asking around, but no one is completely sure."

"We already know all that, Drake. Give me something I can work with." Voight demanded.

Drake shrugged again. "All I have is a name. Carlos Martinez. He is apparently close with Chavez and helped him start up again once he got out."

Voight nodded slowly, narrowing his eyes. "Good." He turned to the two-way mirror. "Someone check that." He ordered before turning back to Drake, "Now let's go over some other things while I have you sitting in front of me."

Drake sighed and shrugged, "Be my guest." He said confidently.

A spitfire of questions and answers followed.

"How long have you been pretending to be James Long?"

"10 years."

"What happened to James Long?"

"He was killed in a drive by. I stole his wallet off him and some guys helped me bury him in an open grave."

Voight ended the quickness when he paused, considering whether to ask this question or not. He ultimately decided that he wanted to know the story. "When did you meet Erin?"

Drake nodded, unsurprised. "Charlie friend knew her mom. So when Erin's mom wanted drugs, she would send Erin to pick up. It didn't take long after that for Charlie to…gain interest. I mean, she was pretty and she was mean. Every guy loves that. Plus, she was already hooked on dope by then so she liked to hang around to get that. Honestly, she was great company so we kept her around."

Voight nodded, another question coming to his mind. "And that night?"

He didn't have to specify, Drake knew what he was talking about. "I was mad and high on coke. I blamed her, roughed her up a little and then made her do some coke until she passed out. And then Charlie got back and freaked out so I ran."

Voight sighed.

"After that, she was hooked and apparently your CI. But we didn't know that at the time so we kept her close. Until that night when Charlie panicked and Erin decided to get out." He sighed, "I didn't ruin her life that night, Voight. If I hadn't someone else would have. She was on a downward spiral and I only sped up the inevitable, alright?"

"Is that what you tell yourself to get to sleep at night? That you sped up the inevitable? You bastard. You gave cocaine to a 14 year old girl. What is wrong with you?" Voight shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I'm done with you. I hope you rot in jail and have a lot of time to think about your pathetic excuse of a life." He paused. "Say hi to your brother for me."

And then he left.

When he walked out, Antonio was standing in the other room, waiting for him. "We got a hit on Pedro Martinez. He lives on the south side, but it's too late to go talk to him now. I think we should start fresh tomorrow." He suggested.

Voight nodded in agreement. "Good call." He said, "6:45 tomorrow. Tell everyone, alright. I want Chavez and soon." He said, exhaustion evident in his voice.

Antonio nodded and turned to leave, but was surprised when the door was pulled open to reveal Halstead standing, panting in the doorway. His eyes were wide and his clothes were covered in snow. He didn't even have a jacket on, just a thin shirt. His cheeks were red, but the rest of his face was pale.

"Halstead? I thought I told you to go home and rest. You look like hell." Voight said, looking at him curiously.

Jay shook his head, trying to catch his breath. "It's Lindsay." He said quickly, "Back at the Long house, I dropped my earpiece on the ground and then took Ruzek's when we got back to the station because I was hoping Erin would pick up the one I left and I would be able to talk to her. I talked for a while and I thought she wasn't there, but she actually was and I didn't know until she turned it back on and I heard-"

"Wait what?" Voight asked, confused about almost everything that he'd just said.

Jay shook his head again. "It doesn't matter." He said quickly, "Chavez got Erin. He took her. He has her right now."

"How do you know that's actually what happened?" Antonio asked after Jay's crazy, sudden outburst. He had a hard time believing that he had coincidentally heard Lindsay's abduction. It didn't seem likely.

Jay pointed to the earpiece that he was holding in his hand. "Erin has an earpiece. I can hear her and she can hear me. The point is…she's in trouble."

"How did she get an earpiece?"

Jay sighed, frustrated because he had already explained it one time before. "I had a feeling she was at the Long house so I left one there. She must have seen me and picked it up. I didn't think she had it, but I hoped she did." He shrugged. "Chavez took her! Why don't you believe me?"

Antonio shrugged, shaking his head. "How can you be sure that's what you heard?"

Jay sighed, irritated. "We record everything from these, right? Let's just listen to it again. And then you'll hear it for yourselves." He suggested.

Voight nodded. "Antonio, gather everyone. We'll set up."

It took them 10 minutes to access the earpiece recordings. By then, the unit plus Burgess were all gathered in the small room.

Jay scrolled to the time frame that he'd heard it.

10:26.

Slowly, he pressed play and they all listened. There was silence for a moment and then, Erin turned her earpiece on in the middle of all the action.

_"Don't answer it." It was Erin's voice, her voice was quiet, barely a whisper. But the earpiece must have been in her ear because on the recording, they could hear her perfectly. She sounded panicked, nervous and little bit scared, but that was to be expected. _

_Silence. _

_And then a loud noise. It sounded like the cracking of wood, but it was hard to be sure. _

_"Well, well, well." A new voice said, "What do we have here? It looks to me like we're stoning two birds with one kill." The man said, his Spanish accent heavy. _

_"The phrase is killing two birds with one stone." Erin said, her voice thick with disgust, "But I'll give you points for trying." She didn't sound scared, more like angry._

_There was a short pause and then another man, also with a Spanish accent spoke, "Enough of this. We've come to take you so you can either cooperate and make this easy…" He paused, "Or we'll do it the hard way."_

_Pause. _

_"Wow, they both sound so promising." Erin said, her voice sarcastic, "But if it's all the same to you, I think we're gonna go with the hard way." She said confidently, fearlessly. _

_And then there was a commotion. _

_"Where did you get that?" One of the Spanish men asked. _

_The other Spanish man spoke a few moments later, "Put that down or-"_

_"Or what?" Erin asked, loudly, "What are you going to do? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like I'm the one in control here." She said, "Now…tell me about Chavez. Tell me what he's planning." She demanded. _

_No one spoke for a few moments. _

_"Now!" She yelled. _

_There was another short pause and then one of the Spanish men spoke. "You are on a list. Erin Lindsay and Kevin Briggs, we were told to bring you to Chavez."_

_"You're not here to kill us?"_

_"No."_

_"But you killed everyone else on the list."_

_"Erin Lindsay, you are on a special list. Chavez specifically asked that we bring you to him, alive." The man said slowly._

_"Why?"_

_Pause, "Leverage."_

_"What?"_

_"Leverage." The man repeated louder, "He knows the police are closing in and he needs you…as leverage. The police trying to get to you should give him enough time to get out of the city." He explained. _

_"So you aren't even taking me to Chavez? You're taking me somewhere else where you're going to hold me?" Erin asked, probably knowing that she was recording._

_"No. We are taking you to Chavez." _

_"You __**were**__ taking me to Chavez." Erin said, "But now the both of you are going to leave before I decide to use this, alright?"_

_It was quiet for a moment and then there were loud footsteps. _

_"Hey!" Lindsay yelled. _

_And then there was a struggle, lots of footsteps and grunting all at once and then all of a sudden, a gunshot. It rang out, a moment of silence following before one more loud thud. And then a long silence._

_"Get up." One of the Spanish men said suddenly. _

_A few footsteps followed as someone got up off the ground. _

_"Follow me, try anything funny and she dies, comprende?" He asked._

_"Yes." A man replied. _

Jay reached up to the computer and stopped the recording, "After that it's just a bunch of dragging noises and walking. They get into a car…and then it goes dead." He said, "They got her, I told you." He repeated.

Voight ran his fingers through his short, stiff hair, trying to think of what to do next. On any other case, he would have already thought of it by now, but he just couldn't stop picturing what might have happened to Erin. "We…" He trailed off, shaking his head, "We need to figure out where that was."

"Can't we track the earpieces?" Ruzek asked with a shrug.

Antonio shook his head, "It doesn't work like that. Some special ones that we have, you can track, but the one that she's using…is just purely a line of communication." He explained.

"Well, we can't just sit around and wait…we have to figure something out." Jay said, frustrated by the lack of urgency among his co-workers. He rubbed his chin anxiously and fidgeted, ready to do something to help Erin.

But Voight was blank, his expression, his body language, his tone. Blank. "We have to get more information on Chavez. We find him, we find Lindsay." He told them and for once, his voice was quiet.

But Jay wasn't thinking straight, he didn't like the fact that they were starting back at square one. "_More_ information on Chavez? We've been doing that for three days now, what makes you think that we'll find any more than we already have?" He challenged.

And that was when Voight snapped out of it, the trance he'd been put in. The defiance, disobedience, it awoke him and not in a good way, "Halstead. Take a breath. Think for a moment. And then answer me this question: If you are so clever, what do you think we should do?" He paused, "And let me give you a hint. The answer is: whatever you say, Voight."

Jay stared at him, face red. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead, he took a breath and paused before saying, "Whatever you say, Voight."

"That's what I thought."

Internally, Jay was still didn't want to keep looking for Chavez. He thought they should take a different way. Chavez was obviously good at making himself invisible, so why were they _still_ looking for him? But he couldn't voice his opinions anymore, or he shouldn't, if he knew what was good for him.

After that, Voight started to bark out orders, just like normal. But in the midst of all of it, there was a knock at the door of the room they were all standing in.

It was Platt.

Voight gestured for her to come in.

Slowly, she entered the room, "Uh, I just got a call from the Days Inn Hotel off of Quincy and the manager said that they found Lindsay's badge left in one of their rooms, apparently it was wrecked." She told them.

Voight looked at the team. They all knew what that meant. That had to be where the whole thing had happened. Without even explaining to Platt, he moved past her out the door, saying "Let's go" over his shoulder before he left.

And the team followed.

She woke up suddenly.

Her eyes shot open, her body jerked and just as quickly as she had woken up, a wave of pain hit her, radiating from her head. She closed her eyes, in the back of her mind, she remembered that she'd gotten a concussion a few days earlier. And now this. She knew that wasn't good.

After a few moments, she started to get used to the pain in her head. It was constant, but not unbearable. Slowly, she opened her eyes again, relieved to find that it was fairly dark in the room where she was. As she started to take in her surroundings, she also started to notice the smell.

The thick, intoxicating smell of gasoline. Everywhere. She was lying on the ground and she when she moved her hand across the cold concrete surface underneath her, it was slick. There was gasoline all over the floor. Why? She looked up, realizing for the first time that she was in some kind of warehouse. The room was large and there were a few large barrels in the far corner, which she assumed were full of and probably leaking, gasoline. Other than the barrels there was long, metal chain hanging from the ceiling, various random pieces of metal and wood and a few chairs and a table towards the middle of the warehouse.

She looked up.

There was a hanging walkway above them and she could see the stairs that lead up to it, but the one thing she didn't see was a door that lead to the outside. Behind her, she could see three doors, but she knew they just lead to different rooms because there was a crack underneath the door and there was no light coming in through it so it couldn't lead to the outside. Along with those three doors, there were two doors on the other three walls of the room and she could see that there were a few doors up on the second floor too, leading to rooms from the loft.

But when she scanned the room again, she still didn't see the exit, which she thought was peculiar, maybe even alarming.

There were windows, but they were all on the second story…she wouldn't be able to escape that way unless she was going to jump, which she was sure would probably break both of her legs, maybe even her neck or back.

Slowly, she pushed herself up of the floor, displeased to find that her stomach and the front of her legs were damp with gasoline. She knew breathing it in too much was bad for her lungs, but the windows on the second floor were open so at least the fumes could vent. Her legs shook as she got to her feet. She wondered how long it had been. Her legs felt like they hadn't moved in a few days.

She made her way over to the table towards the middle of the room and sitting on it was a line of coke, ready and waiting to be done. She eyed it, reminded of countless other occasions when she would have taken it, done it, but not today. She noticed there were five chairs. Five. So that meant there were five people. Kevin, her, and three guards, she assumed.

Carefully, so she didn't slip on the slick floors, she turned around, looking for an exit. But still nothing. She assumed the door to the outside had to be through one of the rooms. So she walked to one of the walls and tried all the doors.

Locked.

So she went to the other wall and tried the doors on it.

All locked.

The same applied for the last two walls too.

These guys weren't careless, that was for sure. She sighed and looked around again, as if she hadn't done scanned this rooms several other times. She wondered where Kevin was. Had they killed him already? She remembered what the two men had said. That _she_ was leverage. What did that make Kevin?

Useless.

She shook her head, not accepting it. He still had to alive, somewhere, probably in one of the rooms.

Just as she was about to go up the stairs to the second floor, she heard a noise come from behind her. She turned just in time to see one of the doors come open. A figure walked through the doorway, revealing a small room behind him.

She didn't recognize the first man, but as a second man came through the doorway, she realized that she actually knew him. They both approached her, the first man was Hispanic, his hair sleek, his figure built. And the second man, who she knew, was white with short brown hair and distinct, clear blue eyes.

"Hola chica." The first man said with a smile.

"Means hello girl." The second man said with a smirk.

Erin looked back at the second guy, "Thanks for the translation." She said, rolling her eyes. "The man I came with, what happened to him?" She asked.

The first man paused, a smile plastered on his face. "He is alive." He nodded slowly, "For now." He looked at her, "And now that you are awake, we need to…uh…get acquainted, wait here. I will be back." He turned and walked into one of the other rooms using a key he had hanging around his neck. One key. It must be some kind of master key for all the doors or something.

When he was gone, Erin looked at the second guy and shook her head. "Patrick, what the hell are you doing here?"

He paused, "Well it's nice to see you too. It's only been what? 12 years. No phone call, no hellos, not even a letter. You'd think, after all we'd been through, you would have at least called when you got your letter to make sure I was okay."

"You're kidding, right?" Erin raised an eyebrow, "We weren't even close. At all. And if I remember correctly, you were the nerdy one that Charlie had do all the work and I was-"

"The golden girl." Patrick smirked, "Well look at how the tables have turned."

Erin gave him a hard look, "What are you doing working for them, Patrick? They were trying to kill you. And now they're trying to kill me and Kevin and…other innocent people." She said, appalled at his lack of loyalty.

Patrick sighed, "Innocent people?" He shook his head, "We all have sins, Erin. And skeletons and secrets."

"So that makes it okay to kill?"

"No." Patrick said defensively, "I'm just…Erin, I'm trying to survive here. They were after me and I found an in. I found a way to save myself because I sure as hell wasn't going to wait around for the police to figure it out, no offense." He paused, "I'm sorry, but I was scared and desperate. Can't you understand that?"

Erin sighed, "It still doesn't make this right."

"Well maybe I can help." Patrick said, lowering his voice, "If I hear anything or see anything, I'll let you know." He looked at her, "Speaking of that…you asked about Kevin. He's fine. That guy said he was alive…for now, blah blah blah, but they're actually using him. He's helping them move some of the boxes, you know, he's a big guy. So right now, they need him. After that…I'm not sure."

Erin looked up at him, "Thank you." She said softly.

Patrick smiled and nodded. "Sure." He said and then they both heard one of the doors open again and in came the first man from before, he walked back over to Patrick and Erin, barked some order at Patrick, who left after that, and then grabbed Erin by the arm and lead her towards one of the rooms.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

The man didn't look at her, "Don't worry about it."

Erin rolled her eyes as they walked towards one of the doors. The man pulled out his key and unlocked it, leading her through the doorway. The room was small and completely concrete with no doors or windows. And in the center of the room was a chair.

The man pushed her towards it. "Sientense." He ordered.

Erin, who knew Spanish almost as well as English, did as she was told and sat down in the chair. She watched as he walked to a table that was in the corner of the room. His back was to her so she couldn't see what he was doing, but when he turned back around, he was empty handed so she figured it didn't mattered.

"I am Pedro." He paused and gave her a long, "Pedro Chavez." He clarified, dramatically. "I am Emilio's brother and for now, I will be looking after you and your friend with the help of Patrick and another man named Sergio. And here, we have rules. All the doors are locked at all times. No screaming. No trying to run. No fighting. No conspiring. No disobedience. No using drugs that you are not permitted to use. Anyone who breaks these rules will be dealt a swift, but efficient punishment. We will clarify that punishment when the time comes. You must understand that you are basically currency to us. It can be crumpled, torn, dirty, and miserable, but in the end it is still currency. We will not hesitate to harm you, but we will not jump at the chance to harm you either. You will stay here until we move or until Chavez gives us the orders for your transfer."

"Transfer?"

The man nodded, "You are essentially currency. And there is a man who was particularly excited to…meet you. He will come by here sometime in the next few days and a week after that, when my brother and I leave town, you will go with him….wherever he is going, whatever he is doing. No questions asked."

Erin's heart dropped and she felt like she was going to throw up. "Sex-trafficking?"

"Si, senorita." He paused for a moment, "Should anything happen before then like a bust or an attempt to escape or any other…detour…let's just say we'll make it so there is no evidence, no witnesses, nothing left to find." He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and gestured down to the gasoline.

Erin shook her head, that was crazy, but then again, everything this guy was saying was crazy. All Erin had left was the hope that her unit would find them and save them before any of this had the chance to happen.

"Anything else?" She asked sarcastically.

Pedro smirked and walked back to the small table he had been standing at before. "Just one more thing." He said over his shoulder as he turned back around, "You…are agile, capable, clever...and completely unrestrained. Obviously, we can't have that. What kind of captors would we be if we let our prisoners walk around free?" He paused and walked over to her, "But there's a way to fix that."

And then quickly, before she could really react, he pulled a syringe out of his pocket and eyed her arm for a split second before plunging it into her arm and squeezing. She tried to move away, but it was too late, he pulled the needle out and it was in her.

Whatever _it _was.

"Should kick in soon." He said as he set the syringe back on the table.

Erin didn't feel anything, "What was that?" She glared at him.

But he didn't turn around, he didn't answer.

Erin, frustrated, started to stand up, pushing herself out of the chair. But as she did, her legs crumbled beneath her, causing her to fall roughly back into the chair. Confused, she looked down at her legs and as she did, a wave of dizziness hit her. She blinked, trying to stay awake, but the darkness was slowly started to fade in. And once she was in that state, on the verge of passing out, she heard Pedro respond.

"Liquid X." He said with a smile.

Erin knew what that was. She'd seen it a lot during her time on the streets and even more after she going the force. It was one of the less common date rape drugs. She tried to reply to him, tried to give a sarcastic remark, but by then she couldn't speak…she was basically delirious at that point.

And before she knew it, the blackness finally took her.


	7. Someone

_It had been a long day at school, but she barely remembered it. In all honesty, she barely remembered the past three weeks. In the morning when she woke up, she would take a hit before school, at lunch, instead of eating, she would walk out behind the baseball fields and take another hit. The classes went by in a blur, her grades were plummeting, but it didn't bother her much because she had no one to impress. _

_Ever since she could remember, her dad had been out of the picture. Her mom had vaguely told her about him, apparently he was in jail. She wasn't exactly sure what for, but her mom had given brief details, something about drugs and driving under the influence of drugs. It also didn't sound like her mom was expecting him to get out any time soon either, which Erin couldn't have cared less about. _

_Erin's mom was bigger mess than she was. Either high or drunk every night, a lot of the time, she sent Erin out to pick up her drugs or to "pick up groceries" which was a euphemism in their house that implied she would steal some small foods from various grocery stores until they had enough for what they called "dinner". Erin couldn't remember a time when her mom had been sober or the last time she'd actually had a meaningful conversation with her. Most of conversations consisted of small talk and one-word answers. They barely knew each other. And the sad thing was, Erin didn't want to know her mother either and it seemed like her mom felt the same way about her._

_After school, Erin did anything she could to say out of her house. Her mom was usually drunk around the time she got home, blabbing about some guy who tried to cheat her out of good deal or probably just cranky so she avoided going home at all costs. She usually hung out in the park alone, maybe read, maybe did homework, maybe met some of her friends, but most of the time she would just close her eyes. Around that time in the day, she would still be coming down from the hit she took during lunch. Eyes closed, she either slept or thought or listened to the sounds around her. She found herself sitting there for hours until it got dark and she would walk home down the empty streets alone, in the dark. But it wasn't like there was anyone to worry about her. Or to notice if she was gone._

_And when she finally did get home, half the time her mom would be out, probably getting more booze or more drugs and the other half of the time she was passed out or delirious. _

_That particular day, after school, Erin's mom wasn't home, but Erin didn't worry. She'd lost the ability to worry about her mom a long time ago. Exhausted, weary and just sad, Erin went up to her room and looked at her stash under her bed. She was running low, but finding weed in her neighborhood wasn't exactly hard. She made a mental note to ask around at school the next day. _

_She laid back on her bed, joint in hand, and turned on some music. She loved this, being alone, free, relaxed. But sometimes she did get lonely. She wished that someone would care, about her grades, about her health, about her. But who would? Her mom? Charlie? Drake? She doubted it. _

_She felt like failure. _

_When she looked in the mirror, she didn't see herself, she saw her mother. Her unsuccessful, mess of a mother that had never amounted to anything in her life and had produced a child with the same results. Erin wondered if someday when she had children, would they feel the same way? Would they look in the mirror and hate themselves for being anything like their mother? Her mother was failure, she was a failure. And she didn't want to be. She wanted to be the first one in her family to attend college, she wanted to kick the drugs, she wanted desperately to be someone. _

_Someone. _

_Or maybe just anyone but herself. _

_In reality, Erin hated the drugs. She hated the reputation they gave her, the damage they did to her, but the way they made her feel while she was using them…it was just too tempting to pass up. A lot of the time, she was numb. At least, the drugs made her feel something. Something other than the numb, depressing feeling she had whenever she thought about her life. And she was only 15, how was she supposed to be able to resist that kind of temptation, especially in the environment she was living in? Mostly, she stuck to dope, but every Friday when Charlie got a new shipment of coke, she would take a hit of that. That Friday would hold her off for most of the week until Thursday, when she got jittery and her hands would shake and she would feel sick if she didn't have it by the next Friday. But she hadn't skipped yet._

_Leaning back on her bed, she tried to fall asleep, not at all bothered by the fact that she hadn't done any of her homework again. Her teachers seemed to expect that from her, when she did come to class anyway. _

_Sometimes she just wanted to disappear or move, recreate herself somewhere other than here. But how? She didn't have money or experience or the guts to do anything like that. She was stuck. All her friends, they were all moving forward and she was just stuck standing still. _

_A sigh escaped her as she relaxed her head against the wall, vaguely wondering when her mom was going to be home. She assumed that it wouldn't be any time soon. And after a while, laying there, she finally started to drift off only to be awoken what felt like hours later. She looked at her clock, it had been 20 minutes since the last time she'd looked. _

_There was another series of knocks at her door. _

_Grumbling, she rose out of her bed and walked down the stairs to the front door. Without even looking, she opened it, not even really caring about safety anymore. When she pulled the door open, it revealed Detective Voight standing there on her front porch. _

_She froze, "What are you doing here?" She asked, knowing if anyone saw him at her house, the whole CI situation could be ruined. She looked around, there was no one on the street, but that didn't mean they wouldn't be watching from their windows or something. She reached out, grabbed his sleeve and pulled him inside before shutting the door behind him. _

_"Hello, Erin." His voice was as rough as ever. _

_Erin turned around, "What's going on? I thought we agreed we wouldn't meet in public or during the day for that matter. What if someone saw you? My cover would be ruined." She said, shaking her head. _

_Voight looked down at her, "I had to come see you and I wanted to do it on short notice so we could talk about things." He said, sitting down on her couch. "I'm not in my uniform, your neighbors don't know I'm a cop, they're not that perceptive." He said. _

_Erin sat down in a chair across the room from him, "You said you came to talk about things." She stated blankly, "What things?"_

_Voight stared at her for a long moment, "I know you're still on the drugs, Erin. I can see it in your face, I can smell it in this house." He paused for a moment, "And I took a look at your grades…" He paused, "What are you doing?" He shook his head._

_Erin sighed, "Not this again."_

_"What again?" Voight asked, meeting her eyes, "Another person stressing to you how important it is to have education? Another person telling you that drugs are bad for your health and bad for your mind? Another person telling you that you deserve to have a future? Because you do." He paused, "You could go places, kid. I can see it in you, but you have to kick the drugs, you have to try in school and Erin, you have to give a rat's ass. Do you think you can do that?"_

_Erin held his gaze, her mind whirling. She didn't answer. _

_Voight let out a long sigh, "Can I tell you a story?"_

_"I have a feeling you're gonna tell me no matter what I say." Erin said, blankly. _

_Voight nodded, "That's right." He paused, "I knew a girl like you once. When I had just started out on the force, just a uniform, at the bottom of the heap, we used to get this 911 call every other week from the same house. It was on the south side and it was always this old woman, calling about screaming she heard from the house next door. Sound familiar?" He smirked and went on, "And every time we checked the house next door, this girl would come to the door. She was pretty, but lost, almost always high on something or drunk. We took her in a few times, but she was never all the way there and if she was, she pretended she didn't care about anyone or anything, even though we knew she did. She coasted through school and did nothing, failed almost all of her classes, got arrested multiple times and then when she finally did grow up and realize she wanted a future, she went to a clinic and kicked the drugs. I saw her mother a few years ago and this is when she told me this story. Apparently, the girl had gotten herself completely clean and was ready to start over, but she'd never gotten her high school diploma. No matter what job she applied for, she almost always got rejected until she got some cheap job somewhere and finally realized what a mess she'd made of her life. Desperate for money and lost and not able to afford to go back to school, she started using again. Last year, she was involved in a drive by shooting, shot twice in the left shoulder. She died on the way to the hospital."_

_Erin gulped slowly and nodded, understanding his message. _

_"Do you want to end up like that?"_

_Erin shook her head. _

_"Prove it."_

_Erin looked up, "How?"_

_"Prove to me that you give a rat's ass about someone other than yourself." Voight said, giving her another hard look. _

_Erin shrugged, not sure how she would be able to do that. "I'll try in school. I've gotten A's before, I could probably do it again." She said slowly. _

_Voight nodded slowly, "That's a start. What about your mom? She's having trouble, isn't she?" He looked down at the empty bottles of alcohol on the ground, "I know this is a lot to ask of a 15 year old girl, but why don't you get a job? Maybe even something easy. You don't have to be making a fortune and you'll have to take on more work than you're used to, but all over this city, there are teens working and striving to help their parents and grow up into people that are more put together than their parents. If they can do it, you can too."_

_Erin looked down at the alcohol bottles and nodded. He was right. He was so right. She'd been so selfish, her mother needed her help and she hadn't been there. "I can't get good grades, kick drugs and get a job all at the same time."_

_"Take it one step at a time, okay? Focus on the grades and the job, try to wean yourself off the dope, it's the coke that's gonna give you a problem. Just don't get really hooked and it will be easier for you to kick later. You're a strong kid, Erin. And if you ever need anything, I gave you my card. All you have to do is call and I'll help you with whatever you need."_

* * *

The hotel looked run down, like it always had. It was one of the cheaper and less maintained hotels of the city and according to the police records, they'd been having a lot of incidents lately so Voight was surprised that this one made it all the way up the chain to Intelligence. He assumed Platt had something to do with it.

The unit walked into the hotel hastily, on a mission. They trudged in only to find a short line of people at the front desk. Luckily, upon seeing the cops behind them, they all moved to the side.

Voight approached the front desk, "I need to speak to the manager please."

"I am the manager. Are you the Intelligence Unit?"

"We are." Voight replied.

The manager nodded, looked back at another employee that was standing behind him and muttered, "You take the front desk," before then grabbing a room key off the counter and walking out from behind the front desk. "I'll show you the room."

Voight nodded and followed, "So we've been looking through the reports and there have been a lot of incidents here in the past year. What makes this one any different? What makes you think it has something to do with our case?"

"Erin Lindsay's a cop in your unit, right?" He asked, glancing back at Voight.

Voight didn't reply. He assumed the man already knew the answer.

As they reached the door, the manager turned back towards them. "I know your agent was here and you'll see why in a minute." He slowly scanned the room key and then pushed the door open.

Voight was the first to enter and what he saw when he walked in could only be described as complete chaos. The lamp was upside down and cracked on the floor. The paintings on the wall had fallen down and cracked. There was a blood trail on the ground and a gun lying next to the TV stand. But none of those things really caught his attention, until he spotted something shining on the bed. He walked over.

It was her badge.

It was sitting there on the bed, as shiny as ever. Slowly, he flipped it open just to be sure. Inside, he read the credentials: Erin Lindsay. This was definitely her badge. And that only confirmed the information that they had already assumed: that someone took her.

He picked it up slowly and slid it into his pocket. "Looks like there was a struggle." He started, looking around.

The rest of the unit made their way in, except for Halstead, who was looking around outside the room.

Antonio nodded and walked over to the gun, "I'm assuming this is Lindsay's gun."

Voight looked at it for a moment and then nodded, "Yea." He let out a sigh, "So now we know where she was. We just have no idea who was with her and who took her. Do you have any security footage?" He asked.

The manager gave him an uneasy look. "We do, but apparently there's a blind spot that we didn't know about and this room is in it. We can't see who goes in or out, but we did catch your agent at one point. She stole the master key off of our maid's cart."

"Probably to get into this room."

The manager nodded slowly.

Voight, Antonio, Ruzek, Olinsky and Burgess then continued to look through the room while Halstead wandered around outside. He looked through the bushes, plants and walkways for any sign of Lindsay. When he didn't find anything, he shook his head and crouched down close to the ground, putting his head in his hands. This whole situation was starting to seem hopeless.

And then he heard a voice come from next to him.

"Are you alright?"

It was a woman and even from the short, simple sentence, Jay could tell she wasn't from America. She sounded Russian, but he wasn't sure. Slowly, he looked up and saw a woman standing over him. She looked old with faded wrinkles on her face and frail, thin arms and legs. She stared down at him, expectantly.

Slowly, he rose so that he was standing again. He loomed over her surprised at how short she turned out to be. "Yes, I'm fine." He said softly, "Thank you." He added politely.

The woman nodded, brushing off her housekeeper's uniform. "Police?" She gestured to the badge clipped to his belt. "Something happened?" She asked, sweeping absent-mindedly as she listened for his answer.

Jay nodded slowly, eyeing the woman. She looked oddly concerned about it. He wondered if she had seen anything. "Yes, one of our own was taken from the room at the end of this walkway. We are taking a look around, but we haven't found much yet. You didn't see anything, did you?"

The woman looked away from him and down at the ground that she was suddenly extremely interested in sweeping.

Jay pressed further. "Can I ask what your name is?"

"Sonya." She answered, not looking up.

Jay nodded, trying to meet her eyes even though she wouldn't look at him, "Sonya? I'm Jay." He said, "And the woman who was taken from the room that night, she was my partner and she's a great partner. She would give her life for anyone on this team and would never _ever_ give up on something that she knows is right. And she took risks." He paused, "Because sometimes you have to take risks for the sake of doing the right thing."

Sonya bit her lip uneasily.

"Sonya, please."

Sonya looked up suddenly, finally meeting his eyes. She looked scared, nervous even. She opened her mouth and spoke slowly and very softly, as if scared that someone would hear her even though there was no one even remotely close to where they were standing. "I see her yesterday. She stay in the room you are looking into. She was with a man, very large, very loud. He say his name is Kevin. After they went in room, three men come. They wear all black and two went to room and one stay with me. In room, they all argue and yell and then there was shot. And then the men walked the man Kevin out and carried the woman out. She look dead or asleep." She paused, looking up at him apologetically. "They say they know where my son live. They say if I tell police, they kill my son. I'm sorry, so sorry, so sorry." She repeated.

Jay touched her shoulder, "It's alright, it's okay. We will bring you and your son in for protection." He said reassuringly, "But is there anything else you saw last night? On the men, did you see anything unusual? Did any of them have scars or birthmarks? Maybe they walked with a limp?"

"Two look Hispanic and the other look Italian. The Italian one…" She pointed to her finger, struggling to find the right word. "His finger…" She trailed off, "Gone."

"He was missing a finger?"

Sonya nodded rapidly.

"Which one?"

Sonya closed her eyes for a moment, picturing the man standing next to her. Vaguely, she remembered glancing down at his hand for a split-second, if even that. She noticed he was missing one of his fingers, but which one? She opened her eyes and pointed to the ring finger on her left hand. "This."

"That finger?" He pointed to it.

Sonya nodded.

Jay pulled out his phone, "Come with me." He said, "We'll take you down to the station and I'll send some of my other team members to pick up your son." He walked back towards the room, hearing Sonya behind him. He dialed Platt's number, because Jin was gone, and asked her to try to investigate Italian men missing fingers in Chicago. If the man had medical treatment for his finger, he was more than likely in the system. To Jay's surprise, Platt didn't offer up a snarky reply. Like everyone else, she knew that now was not the time.

* * *

_She never remembered running so fast. She could barely feel her legs as they moved back and forth across the ground. She felt like she was flying as she sprinted down a back alley. Her feet thudded against the concrete road. At the end of the alley, she turned right, still hearing footsteps following behind her. _

_She had been at Charlie's place. She'd been hanging out there a lot lately because her mom had been gone for at least a month. She'd said that she was going to visit her mother, Erin's grandmother for the weekend, but it had been much longer than that. Lonely and scared, she decided to stay with Charlie. _

_That night in particular, Charlie had mentioned something about a meeting with some guy. Apparently, he was new in town, just starting out and trying to find his footing in the drug chains. It was around 10:30 when the man finally showed up to the house, with a full entourage. _

_He and Charlie talked for a long time while Erin sat at the table, nonchalantly doing some of her homework. Since Voight's visit, she'd been trying harder in school and her grades had improved substantially, but as for the drugs, she hadn't really given those up yet. Sitting there doing her math homework was particularly hard when the words drifted back and forth on the page. She blinked a few times, trying to figure it out. _

_Just as she was getting close to finishing, she heard the argument between Charlie and the man start to escalate. Because she was high, Erin wouldn't remember much about that night. The argument between them went by in a blur, she didn't even remember what they were even arguing about, but it ended in a power struggle. They both pulled guns and eventually, Charlie hit the guy over the head and ran for the door, yelling for Erin to go too. _

_And she ran. _

_They split up and went different directions, Charlie went south and Erin went north. As she weaved through the alleyways, she heard the footsteps trailing behind her, but she was nowhere near her house or any of her friends' houses. She needed somewhere to go and soon. _

_A place flashed into her mind. _

_No. _

_She couldn't._

_Her hesitation caused her to slow and the footsteps behind her started to get louder and louder. It didn't matter if she couldn't, she had to. She picked up speed again, turning corners swiftly, but still not able to really lose the men until she climbed on top of a dumpster and hopped a fence into someone's back yard. She listened as they ran by, relieved._

_Slowly, she turned, her back against the fence, so that she was staring into the yard that she had just jumped into. Nervously, she made her way across the grass and to the back porch of the house. Lightly, she knocked, swaying slightly on her feet. She felt like she was going to pass out. _

_Her vision was blurry and the sounds seemed distant, but she watched the door open. And there, standing in front of her, was Voight. She'd known this was his house and in need of escape, she'd climbed into his backyard._

_"Voight." She breathed, her voice sounding very far away to her own ears. _

_He looked at her curiously, "Erin." He glanced backward into his house, "What are you doing here?" He asked, looking over at the rest of his backyard for any more people, wondering if there was anyone else with her. _

_Erin shook her head, "Charlie…" She said, breathlessly. "He had a problem with a new dealer and…they fought and we ran and…" She let out a long breath, "I lost them. I'm sorry that I ended up here, I just…didn't have anywhere else to go."_

_Voight looked down at her. _

_Erin looked past him, into his house, and saw a woman standing in the living room, watching warily, a boy sitting at the table a few feet away from her. She looked suspicious, concerned even. And the boy looked scared. Erin could only imagine what she looked like right now. _

_"It's alright." Voight finally said, "You're my CI, I need you safe. Did anyone see you come here?" He asked, looking around. _

_Erin shrugged, "I don't think so, but I'm not sure…" She trailed off, "I'm so sorry…" Her eyes lulled slightly. _

_Voight looked at her curiously, "Are you high?" He asked._

_Erin nodded slowly, swaying slightly. "I've never felt like this before though…" She reached out and grabbed his doorway for support, blinking rapidly. "I don't…know what's wrong…" She said, her voice soft. _

_Voight was confused too. But then he noticed something. Her hand, which was gripping his doorway tightly, was covered in blood. He looked down and reached out, moving her jacket slightly so he could look at her lower abdomen-hip area on her left side. The first thing he noticed was the rip in her shirt that revealed a long, deepish cut just above her hip bone. "Oh…" He said, knowing she probably wasn't feeling it because she was still high from whatever drug she'd taken._

_"What?" Erin looked down and as she examined the cut on her hip bone, her eyes widened."Oh god." Her hands shook as she reached out to put her hands over the wound. "I…I don't remember that…I don't remember getting that." She said, voice shaky. _

_Voight nodded slowly, "It doesn't look like a stab wound. You probably just ran into something. It doesn't look too bad either, you probably just need some stitches." He paused, ushering her into a nearby chair, "Here let me get my keys. I'll drive you to the hospital." He turned to leave. _

_Erin grabbed his wrist, "No." She breathed, looking up at him, "Not the hospital, please. If they find the drugs I'll go to jail." She said softly, "I can't go to jail, please…" _

_Voight sighed and crouched down in front of her, "I thought I told you to get off the drugs." He said, shaking his head. _

_Erin closed her eyes for a moment, "I tried…" She said softly, "I started doing my school work, I got a job waiting tables at that diner a few blocks down from here, but I couldn't change my whole life that quickly…I couldn't do it." She shook her head, "I __**can't **__do it."_

_"I don't believe that for a second." Voight said, "And you shouldn't either." He looked into her eyes for a moment and then turned to his back door, "Stay here, alright? I'm gonna go get some bandages and we'll bandage you up for the night, but tomorrow morning, when you come down, we're going to the hospital."_

_Erin nodded slowly, watching him stand up and head for the door. Just as he pulled it open, she spoke, "Voight?" She asked and when he turned around, she added, "Thank you."_

_He cracked a smile. "You got it, kiddo." And then he walked her inside._

* * *

Erin woke up suddenly to the sound of a large metal door slamming shut. Her eyes shot open, but all she saw was darkness. Complete, pitch black darkness. Her face was against something hard and cold. She assumed she was probably lying on the ground. But it wasn't covered in gasoline. So they'd moved her. She tried to move her arms only to realize they were tied behind her with a thick rope.

Quietly, she listened for something, anything to give her a clue about where she was. How long had she been out for? Where had they moved? Was she alone? She shifted to get into a more comfortable position and then took in the silence, thinking.

It only took her a few seconds after that to realize that she could hear someone else breathing too. She wondered if it was another prisoner or if it was one of her captors. Carefully, she let out a small cough to let the other person know that she was there.

They returned only silence.

They must be one of the guards or something. She wondered how they were able to see through the darkness. If they couldn't see her, then maybe she had some kind of advantage…

"Hello?" A voice asked through the darkness.

Erin was surprised at how close they sounded. She could tell it was a man, but she didn't recognize the voice. But then again, it was barely a whisper and it was extremely raspy so she doubted she would be able to tell even if she did know the person. Quietly, she replied, "Who are you?"

"Erin?"

It was louder that time and she could finally recognize it, but she wasn't sure whether she should be excited or disappointed once she realized who it was. "What are you doing here?" She asked, baffled by his presence.

"That's not much of a greeting. Come on it's been a year, you should be happy to see me." He said and she could practically hear his smile through the darkness.

Erin opened her mouth to give a sarcastic reply when she heard a moan come from her other side. It sounded even closer than the other man. She looked over, but still didn't see anything because it was too dark. "Hello?"

"Still here." The first man said.

"Shut up, not you." Erin said, rolling her eyes as she listened.

"Erin…" A new voice said.

She recognized that voice too, "Kevin." She wished she could see him to make sure he was okay. From the moaning noise he was making, she wasn't sure that he was.

"Kevin's here?" The first man said.

Kevin coughed, "Who's that?"

Erin didn't reply. She tried to scoot across the floor, but it was no use. She was tied up too tightly and awkwardly to be able to move. Tenderly, she tried to use her hips to move towards Kevin. Her shoulders started to ache after a while, but she was determined to figure out where he was. So she kept inching across the hard, concrete floors.

But as she was making her way across the floor, the lights turned on. It was so sudden, it just about blinded her. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a moment to adjust before re-opening them. The room they were in was large, made entirely of concrete except for a two windows on one of the walls. Like the other room, there was a table in the middle with five chairs sitting around it.

Directly in front of her, she saw Kevin. He was bound, just like she was, but she could see that there was blood soaking the lower half of his shirt. She moved, glancing backwards at the other man. She wished it was dark again so she could pretend he wasn't there.

But the light made it real. He was lying a few feet away from her, a scowl on his face, probably because of the lights that had just been turned on.

"Charlie?" Kevin asked.

He looked up, smirking. "Wow Kevin, look at you. You're all grown up. You and Erin both, it's sweet, endearing actually." He chuckled lightly.

Erin looked back at him, her body positioned at a weird angle. "What are you doing here, Charlie?"

"You thought I was still in jail." Charlie rolled his eyes, "I got out early for good behavior, currently on probation. You know what? I have a meeting today. It looks like I'm going to have to reschedule." He said, sarcasm accenting his voice.

Erin let out a long sigh, "Well if there was anyone that actually deserved to be here, it would be you."

"Quite the charmer there, Erin." Charlie said.

But she ignored him and turned to Kevin, who had been silent for a few minutes. "Kevin, are you hurt?" She asked, eyeing the dark red spot at the bottom of his shirt.

"No." Kevin said.

She didn't believe him though, his face was pale, his hands were shaking. He just looked sickly in general. All those things and the fact that he had a huge spot of blood on his shirt made her doubt the answer he'd just given her. "There's blood on your shirt." She stated, wondering if she'd just caught him in some kind of lie.

Kevin glanced down, "I know." He paused for a moment and then continued on, "Yesterday, they took me and this other guy somewhere. I didn't recognize him. We drove and drove and then we stopped and they let us out. We were out in the field, I don't know where. I could see the city in the distance, but it looked far, at least 30 or 40 minutes away. They made us get down on our knees, I was sure I was going to die. And then they shot the guy next to me. He never said anything, never put up a fight, but they shot him in cold blood. I thought I was next, but they just told me to get up. And…they made me bury him." He took a long pause, "This is his blood."

"Oh god." Charlie said in the background.

Erin felt for him, but it still didn't make sense. He looked so sick. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again, still feeling like there was something off with him.

Kevin glanced at her, but didn't reply.

That was when Charlie spoke up, "He needs a hit." He stated blandly, "You'd think the decorated police officer, Ms. Intelligence Unit, would have known that."

It finally made sense.

Withdrawal.

His hands were shaking, his face was pale, he looked like he was pale and jittery. She could see sweat glistening on his face. And she squinted, staring at him. He met her eyes, confirming her suspicion: blood-shot eyes.

Charlie was right.

"Oh, Kevin." Erin said with a sigh. She knew how hard withdrawal was. She'd gone through it herself, at an age much younger than him. It was painful and it was scary and it really tested you in the worst of ways.

Kevin sucked in a deep breath, "I know…" He said, shaking his head.

Erin opened her mouth to give him some comfort, maybe even some words of advice, but she was cut off by the door at the far end of the room skidding open to reveal three men making their way in. Two looked familiar, she recognized them as the guards from before, Patrick and Pedro, but the third was completely new. He looked Italian, but young. If she wasn't in this situation, tied up and scared, she would have thought he was good-looking, maybe even attractive, definitely hot. She hated thinking that, but it was her honest opinion. His hair was thick and black, he was tan and the muscles in his arm were thick and defined. He was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, his jacket in his hands. As he walked in, he set his jacket at the table in the middle of the room and pulled out a chair.

Slowly, he sat.

Patrick walked over to Erin and carefully lifted her off the ground, "Be civil." He whispered in her ear as he slowly lifted her up, trying his best to be careful with her because he knew that she was probably tender.

"Rápido!" Pedro called.

Patrick hurried up a little bit after that, moving Erin over to the table quickly where he pulled out a chair and sat her down across from the Italian man.

Erin looked right into his eyes. They were calm, but serious. He looked very formal, sat with straight posture and his hands folded neatly in his lap. Once she was settled into her own chair, her shoulders aching, the man scooted forward, getting closer to her.

"Hello there." He said, a smile on his face.

But it was threatening, as Erin was expecting. It actually looked more kind, maybe even gentle. She tried her best not to associate him with those traits because she knew that if he was here, there was no way he was as gentle and kind as he was letting on.

"Hello." Erin replied, warily. She remembered Patrick's warning for her to 'be civil'. She stared at him, holding her tongue because she knew whatever was happening was important.

The man stared at her for a few moments longer, leaving an awkward, lingering silence between them. His eyes scanned over her slowly, examining ever part of her body. His gaze made her feel uncomfortable, especially when it was as silent as it was.

"My name is Shane, don't worry about my last name, you don't need to know it." He smiled, "Your name is Erin, right?" He leaned in closer, a crooked smile on his face.

She nodded slowly, leaning back slightly.

Shane nodded, "I like that name." He looked her over again, as he had before. "I like you…a lot." He glanced back at Pedro and gave him a short nod, "She's just as pretty as you said, a lot prettier than I was expecting." He smirked, "She'll be perfect."

Pedro nodded from where he was standing a few feet away.

Shane leaned in again, his hand on the edge of Erin's chair next to her thigh. "You're really are something…" He shook his head, meeting her eyes. He smiled slowly, his breath on her neck, "And in a week, you'll be mine."

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry it's been so long, I had serious writer's block. I definitely know where this story is going, getting it there is going to be the hard part, at least for me. So I'll try to get into more of a regular posting schedule. I'm thinking every Tuesday, just because I'm posting this on a Tuesday, but it will probably move depending on what's happening that particular week. I'm pretty busy and I've barely even started the next chapter for this story yet so...I'll try to get it done by Tuesday, but don't be surprised if it's more Thursday or Friday. AFTER THAT, I really will try to stick to a schedule. Thanks for reading, I hope you haven't lost interest just yet...I'm ready to bring in some new ideas, I hope you're ready too. Thanks again! Please review!


	8. Halloween

"We got a hit!" Ruzek announced as he rushed up the stairs, through all of their desks and up to the bulletin board with Voight on his heels, typing something into his phone. Quickly, Ruzek posted a large picture. It was of a intimidating-looking Mexican man with black hair and deep, cold brown eyes.

"Pedro Chavez." Ruzek said with a smirk, "Emilio Chavez' brother. We checked him already, but didn't get anything interesting, we just assumed that he was setting everything up for his brother while he was in jail. Turns out, he's missing a finger…"

Jay approached the picture, disgusted. He hated to think that Erin was with that guy, even if she wasn't alone. He looked over at Ruzek, "So we have our perp. Do we know where he is?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"No." Ruzek said with a small shrug, "Sure enough, Pedro disappeared just like his brother with a few mumbles here and there mentioning the south side, but those are just rumors." He said with a sigh.

Voight nodded in agreement. "We just have to reach out to our CI's. If the Chavez' are still in the city they have to be dealing with someone to stay afloat." He said before walking past everyone into his office, shutting the door behind him.

This was especially hard on him.

He could understand that his unit was worried, that they were looking to him as a leader, but he just needed some time to himself in that moment. He hated this feeling, waiting, sitting, like there was nothing he could do. He was her…dad…or whatever, she always counted on him. And he knew, wherever she was, she was thinking that he was searching tirelessly for her.

And he was.

But to him, it just felt a lot like sitting.

And waiting.

And sitting.

And somewhere, she was sitting and waiting too, except she was probably tired and hungry and god knows what else. And he was sitting there, waiting for any of his CI's to text him back or call him up. It just didn't seem right.

He missed her. He really did.

And Voight didn't miss a lot of people. He missed his son, he missed his wife. She'd been dead for a while now, but everyone once in a while, he'd miss her. And Erin, god he missed her. His heart ached when he thought about her being in the danger she was in. He was supposed to protect her, but he'd let this happen. He'd let this stupid thing happen.

If he ever saw her again, he swore to himself that he was apologize for that. He would apologize for not protecting her like he was supposed to. The guilt ate away at him as he sat there at his desk, it devoured him from the inside out until he was hollow, waiting and sitting.

Except now he was angry. When he got his hands on the bastards that had her…

His thoughts were cut short by his door being pushed open. Irritated, he looked up, ready to give the person a mouthful about not disturbing his space, but then he realized it wasn't any of his team members at the door: it was one of his CIs.

Derek Briggs.

Jay was standing in the doorway behind him.

"Derek, what are you doing here?" Voight glanced down at his phone to see if Derek had called while he'd been thinking. Maybe he'd missed it.

But Briggs cut him off, "I didn't text you. This isn't really something you can explain over text. I just saw the name Pedro Chavez and I drove down here." He paused for a moment, "Chavez took Erin?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yea." Voight nodded, still confused as to why Briggs had raced all the way down here.

Briggs nodded, stepping forward, panting slightly from running into the precinct from his car. "Chavez took my son too. I know it." He said, "Because he was involved in the same take down that Erin was and he went missing around the same time as she did."

"What's your son's name?" Jay cut in.

Voight shot him a look, "Halstead."

Briggs waved Voight off though, "It's okay. His name is Kevin Briggs."

Jay nodded quickly, his excitement clear. "Sonya said that the guy she met, the guy that was on the run with Erin, she said he told her that his name was Kevin." He paused for a moment, "And he got taken on the same night by the same people as Erin."

"With the Chavez brothers." Briggs said with a nod, "And I know where they are. I've been looking around, asking quietly, trying to find out about Kevin and at first, I didn't get anything, but then I came across some guys who had some information. They said that the Chavez' were staying in that old fuel refinery factory thing on the south side. I was going to come down here and tell you anyway or call you, but then you texted me so I figured I'd drive over."

Voight nodded quickly, "Well tell me then." He said, expectantly.

Briggs nodded and took in a deep breath, "They're on the south side." He said definitively, panting for a few seconds after. He'd just sprinted up from his car to his stairs, he needed a moment to catch his breath.

"We already know that." Jay said with a shake of his head, frustrated that all of their tips had the same information. Nothing more, nothing less. It was getting them nowhere.

Briggs nodded, taking in another breath. "I'm not done." He huffed, "They're on the south side in a warehouse…apparently." He paused for another moment, "A warehouse off of Madison Drive." He shrugged. "It used to be an oil refinery or something."

"Oil refinery?" Jay asked, not familiar with any on that side of town.

But Voight held his hand up, shaking his head quickly. "No, I know the place. Halstead, Atwater, you follow me, Olinsky and Ruzek. Get the big guns, get everybody vest up. We don't have to get warrant because the building is technically state property so we're going in hot."

* * *

"We need a plan." Charlie whispered suddenly, his voice strained. He'd just taken a beating from Pedro a few minutes earlier for a snarky comment. In all honesty, he deserved it. Provoking these people was stupid, the only thing it got you was one step further away from any chance of escape.

The three of them were sitting against the far wall while the guards were all standing near the door, a whole room away. If they whispered, the guards wouldn't be able to hear what they were saying, or at least they hoped that was the case.

Erin didn't look at Charlie, just stared forward. "Because making a plan will make it _so_ much easier to escape." She said sarcastically, fidgeting to make her arms more comfortable as they were cuffed behind her back. Her shoulder was bothering her, being cuffed really wasn't good for the gunshot wound trying to heal.

Charlie shot her a glare. "I'm just suggesting something here. I mean, it's not me they're selling to a sex-trafficking ring so…if you want to just wait around, we can. I just thought…" He trailed off.

"Okay, you've made your point. We have less than one day to come up with something. Any ideas?" She asked and when neither of them replied, she continued. "Well, we know that if we try to escape, they'll probably set the building on fire so that's a hazard we should look out for."

"And we're on the second floor." Kevin said suddenly.

Erin looked over at him, "How do you know?"

"The windows." Kevin said softly, "I can see out the windows. We're definitely on the second floor, probably in one of the rooms."

Charlie nodded, "And the door that they're guarding locks from the inside and from the outside. The key is around Pedro's neck so…" He gave a shrug, "There are three guards and three of us."

"Patrick doesn't count as a guard. If we try to escape, I doubt he'll really try to stop us." Erin said as quietly as she could, just in case the guards actually were listening.

Kevin nodded slowly, "But we're weak. We can't pull this off. Even if we did somehow get past the guards, past the door and down the stairs, we don't know if there are more guards down there or if there are more doors that have to be unlocked. Too much is left to chance."

"Well, I'm not going with that guy. How far up do you think we are?"

Kevin shrugged, "We're on the second story. At least 30 or 40 feet, maybe more. Why? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking if we don't come up with anything better by tomorrow and I get desperate, I'm gonna jump. Who knows? Maybe there's another dumpster there waiting to catch me." Erin said with a smirk.

Charlie shook his head, "No. We can figure this out. We just have to put our heads together and apply ourselves. Now, think. How can we get the key and get rid of the guards without making a scene just in case there are other guards waiting to set the place on fire?"

Erin shrugged, shaking her head. "Kevin can barely walk." She said, her voice low, "My shoulder is killing me. And you, you have no fighting skills, fighting with you is like fighting with a 16 year old girl." She said, taking in a breath.

"Ouch." Charlie said, hurt.

Erin ignored him, "I say our best way out is either talk our way out, maybe get Patrick's help, try to turn them against each other maybe…or…" She paused, shaking her head. This idea was kind of…out there, she didn't want to suggest it.

Charlie looked at her expectantly when she paused, "Go on." He said.

Erin let out a breath. "Or…" She said quietly, "We could steal one of the matches and…" She trailed off, thinking it through quickly, trying to go through the scenario to see if it actually would work.

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?" Kevin asked from the other side.

Erin glanced at him and then nodded, "They want to use fire as a weapon…" She shook her head, "Well I say we light them up." She paused, "Fight fire with fire. Literally."

* * *

The drive over the warehouse was long and tedious. The unit was split into two cars, one was a normal sedan while the other was a police SUV. Ruzek, Halstead and Olinsky were in the normal car while Voight, Antonio and Atwater were in the second police car.

The plan was simple. Ruzek and Halstead go to the house, asking about pick up for Jennings (a nearby dealer that they knew was trading with Chavez) and then they go in, do their thing, getting whatever drugs or talking to whoever, looking for Chavez and examining the place for an in. And then they get out. Simple. This was just so that they could get a look around inside to figure out the best way to act.

Olinsky was waiting in the normal car for Ruzek and Halstead, just in case they needed immediate back up while Voight, Antonio and Atwater were a block away, listening in and ready to act if they needed help.

The safe word, what either Ruzek or Halstead would say if they needed help, was Halloween. (By the request of Ruzek).

Sitting in the car, right before he and Ruzek were about to get out, Jay was starting to feel nervous. This wasn't just any take down or operation, it was Lindsay. If he messed up, if their cover was blown, not only would he and Ruzek probably be put at risk, Lindsay would too.

Slowly, he slid his earpiece into his ear, letting out a soft breath. This was a lot of pressure. Most of which, he was putting on himself. He tried to keep his hands from shaking, but he couldn't so he just stuffed them in the pockets of his jeans as he got out of the car with Ruzek.

Jay stared up at the warehouse, the sun was shining over the edge. In an hour, maybe less, it would start getting dark so they needed to get this thing going.

Ruzek, to Jay's right, looked as cool as ever. He walked with confidence like he always did. Being undercover was where he felt comfortable and he was good at it. Jay trusted that if anyone could pull this off, it would be Ruzek.

And Jay was glad he was there too. He wasn't sure if he could have handled listening to someone else walk in and look for Lindsay. He had to see for his own eyes and be _doing_ something to help or else he would go crazy.

They approached the door together. It was quiet and if they didn't know better, they would have assumed it was empty. There were no signs of people inside. The windows were open and there was no sound coming through. Maybe they had the wrong place.

Jay glanced at Ruzek as they stood in front of the large, sliding steel door. He gave a small nod and then knocked loudly, confidently. He had to step over his nervousness if he wanted to do this right, which he did.

They waited in silence for a long time until finally, the door slid open with an awful screeching noise to reveal a brunet, irritated-looking man, standing in the large, over-sized doorway. He looked at the pair, expectantly.

"We're here to pick up for Jennings." Jay said, gesturing to the bag that was slung over his shoulder. It was filled with the cash that they knew Chavez' people would be expecting.

The man gave Jay a blank look, "You aren't the guys that usually pick up for Jennings." He stated blandly, eyes narrowing as he looked them up and down from head to toe.

Jay shook his head, "No." He paused, "We aren't, but we're here and we have this." He unzipped the bag and displayed the money. "So what's more important?" He asked, looking up at the man, knowing that he'd already won.

The man stared into the bag for a moment and then nodded, "Follow me." He said, turning and walking into the warehouse.

Ruzek and Jay followed, but as they stepped inside, they both stumbled slightly on the slippery floor beneath. When they looked down, they realized it was soaked in some kind of liquid.

"Liquid gasoline." The man stated as he effortlessly made his way across the slippery floor in controlled, slow strides. "This used to be an oil refinery. All those vats," he pointed to large containers lining the walls, "were filled with gas and over the years, it has leaked." He shrugged. "We pretty much ignore it."

They followed him across a large room with a single table in the center surrounded by a few chairs, but they passed it and continued on to a door on the far wall. The man pulled a necklace out from under his shirt and used the key attached to it to open the door. Inside that room was more at least 10 or 20 packages of coke.

"Set the bag on the table." The man ordered, "And take three packages."

* * *

Erin shook her head, "It's been hours and no one has been in here. How are we supposed to get a match if we haven't even seen any people in three hours?" She asked, pacing frustratedly. Her arms were still cuffed behind her, but walking was way more comfortable to her than sitting.

"You're gonna wear yourself out." Kevin said quietly from where he was sitting against the wall, a few feet away from Charlie.

Erin glanced at him, "So? In a few days, that's not going to matter. I'm just gonna be another pawn in that guy's disgusting sex ring. We have to do something!" She exclaimed, shaking her head.

Before the other two men could respond, the door was pushed open to reveal Pedro walking in. He walked directly over to Lindsay and grabbed her by the arm. "Come with me." He said, pulling her out towards the door.

Erin didn't like that. He was vague, hasty and very rough as he pulled her towards the doorway. Over her shoulder, she looked back at Kevin and Charlie, "Do something!" She called over her shoulder, in a panic, she was sure that Pedro was taking her down to become property of that creepy Italian guy from before. "Do something!" She repeated.

But neither of the men did.

Erin struggled against Pedro's grip, but he had the advantage. He pulled her down the stairs to the gasoline-covered floor where he pulled her across the floor and sat her down at the table in the center of the room.

Pedro leaned in, "He's coming early." He smiled brightly, "He's already gotten some interest in you…looks like you've got your work cut out for you." He smirked and sat down in a chair across from her.

Chills flowed down Erin's spine as she descended further into a state of panic. She didn't even hear the door behind her open and close or the footsteps coming up behind her. It was the voices that finally alerted her that there were other people there.

Well, one voice in particular.

"I'm sure we'll be back later, Jennings has a lot of buyers so he's gonna need a pretty steady supply of coke from here on out."

It was Jay.

Erin didn't turn. She knew if she did, they would know. They would be able to see the realization and relief on her face and she knew better. So she kept her head down and her hands clenched as they were cuffed behind her, wondering if they had even seen her yet.

Unknown to her, they had. Both of them. The moment they had exited their small room with their packages of coke, they saw her coming down the stairs with Pedro and watched as he sat her down by the table.

Jay purposely talked about something random to make sure that she knew they were there. He could see that her hands were cuffed and there was bloody clump in her hair. He walked, with Ruzek and the other man, towards the table, trying his best not to get too excited or scared or whatever he was feeling.

Pedro looked up at the man who was walking with Jay and Ruzek, Patrick. He tilted his head, "Who is this?" He asked, glancing down at Erin, who didn't move.

"They're picking up for Jennings. They brought the money and I gave them their coke." Patrick said simply with a shrug, "What are you doing with her?" He asked.

Jay was secretly thankful that the two men were having this conversation in front of them. It made it so much easier for Jay and Ruzek to get a feel for whatever was going on.

Pedro looked down at Erin, "Shane is picking up early. He said he wants to come by and pick her up soon. As for the others, I figure we use them for a little bit longer and then get rid of them like my brother wanted." He said with a shrug, "You guys know Shane?"

Ruzek looked up and shook his head, "No. We just deliver and pick up, no questions asked." He told Pedro with a shrug and smirk.

_Do you guys have eyes on Lindsay?_

Jay wasn't sure how he should answer Voight in his ear. He couldn't just come out and say it because of everyone else around, but how else was he supposed to signal that he was with her and she was in trouble. He was about to try to deliver some sort of covert message to Voight when he was interrupted by someone else calling something from across the room.

A large, handsome Italian man was jogging inside from the open doorway. He waved towards their group, "Hello. I believe I've placed an order for pick up." He said with a short laugh as he walked up to Lindsay and cupped her cheek in his hand.

She pulled away in disgust, his hand was smooth and warm, but that was exactly what she didn't like about it. It was almost too inviting and tempting.

"You are beautiful." The man said, brushing some hair out of her face before turning towards the other men, "And who are you two? And why do you look like two deer in the headlights?" He asked with a laugh and without waiting for their answer, he continued, "Kidding, I'm Shane. I'll probably be seeing you around town or maybe she will." He nodded to Lindsay, "If you know what I mean."

Jay tried not to cringe. This man was so pleased with his vulgarity, so pleased with his torture of another person. He wondered how many other girls he had under his ring or what he would have Erin do if he actually got away.

"We work for Jennings, my name's Adam and this is Jay." He said with a smile as he held his hand out to Shane, who shook it happily. "So you're paying money for that one? Why? Aren't there plenty of others who are free…?" He asked.

Erin looked down at the ground, sickened by the way that Ruzek called her "that one", as if she was just a piece of property or trash or something like that. She rubbed her hands together behind her back, her nerves going wild.

Shane smirked and nodded, "Sure there are others, but she's a former cop or something like that. Plus, I hear she might be worth a ransom or something later, I mean who knows? Cops are worth a lot sometimes. I mean, have you guys heard about that cop with that 10,000 bond on his head? God, if I got my hands on that guy…" He shook his head.

Jay's heart was beating so fast that he felt like he was going to pass out.

And Ruzek knew so he looked around the room for anything to help them make it through this. He spotted a few large boxes full of beer cases. "What's that?" He pointed to it.

"Some beer we've accumulated…" Pedro said, smirking.

"How much would it cost to take some of that off your hands?" Jay asked, looking over at it.

Pedro narrowed his eyes and shrugged. "1000?" He asked with a shrug. "It's mostly cheap beer, there's just a lot of it." He explained.

Jay nodded, glancing at Ruzek, "I'm sure Jennings would love that. Can we take it and bring you back the money for it tomorrow?" He asked, looking over at Pedro, "If we don't come back, you can come after Adam and I personally." He smiled.

Pedro let out a small chuckle, "You can take it today, but the money will be here tomorrow, yes?" He looked over at Adam and Jay expectantly.

"Absolutely." Adam answered with a confident nod.

Pedro looked at the crates. There were four large crates, it would take two people to carry each crate. "You're gonna need some help. You carry the coke," He pointed to Adam, "You two get the first crate." He gestured to Patrick and Shane.

And then Pedro walked over to Erin. He pulled out a key and carefully unlocked her hand cuffs. She pulled her arms around in front of her, finally feeling the relief she had been craving for days. Her shoulder stung slightly from the change and she tried not to cringe, but it was hard.

Jay was standing nearby, watching her. He noticed the pain on her face and he remembered she'd been shot. That seemed like ages ago when in reality it had only been four days.

"Go get your friends, bring them down here. All the doors are locked except the front door so don't try to escape." Pedro said quickly before turning to Jay, "Come on let's get the other one." He said, walking over to the crate.

Jay nodded and followed, walking slowly. They had to do something. This was progressing too fast. If they took the crates outside, the men would see Olinsky waiting in their car and that was a problem. Something had to happen and soon.

Erin watched Jay, heart pounding. She got out of her chair and stumbled slightly, her legs were weak and stiff. She walked towards the stairs and slipped on the gasoline. She fell hard onto the gasoline soaked floor. Her shoulder screamed in pain as soon as she hit and she let out a moan.

Pedro looked over.

"Don't you want to help her?"

Pedro gave a shrug.

Shane, who was struggling under the weight of the crate, "Hey man, that's my girl over there. I don't want bruises, alright? I'll pay top dollar, but I don't want damaged goods." He said, looking back at Pedro, who just shot him an annoyed look.

"Hey man, I got it." Jay said and when Pedro nodded, he made his way over to Lindsay, who was trying to get up, but was struggling because her arms were still sore from behind cuffed behind her back for so long. He tried to be as casual as he could. "Come on." He put his hand out.

Erin looked up at his hand, surprised that Pedro had let him come over. She reached up and grabbed it and when she did, somehow, she was comforted. Maybe just because they were there, finally, to save her, or maybe just because it was him. He was there. And she wasn't alone.

Jay pulled her up off the ground in an easy lift. He noticed she looked pale, sickly. He assumed they hadn't been fed much in the past couple days. He looked over at the stairs, "Come on. I'll help you over." He said blankly.

Their backs were to the group as Jay helped her along. He held her by the wrist and held her up off the ground. He didn't like being so rough, but he knew if he showed too much compassion, the other men would notice.

As they moved along, Erin glanced at him, "Are they outside?" She whispered, barely moving her mouth. Their backs were still to the rest of the men, but she didn't want to take any chances.

"Yes." Jay replied, his voice barely a whisper. He glanced down at her, "Are you okay?"

Erin gulped, looking up at the stairs that they had just about reached. "Yea, go." She said, detaching her arm from his and then walking over to the stairs and starting to make her way up, which was a lot harder than she had been expecting.

Jay turned around and walked back over to Pedro, who was waiting by the crate. "Gracías, señor." He said to Jay as he walked up, a smile on his face. He nodded over to the crate and bent over, beginning to lift it.

Jay did the same, except he feigned a struggle, acting like the crate was much too heavy. "Sorry." He huffed out while 'trying' to lift it up. He saw that Pedro had no trouble lifting his side, but Jay had to stall.

"You can't lift this?" Pedro looked down at the crate.

Jay shook his head, "I hurt my shoulder a few weeks ago, like really hurt it, physical therapy and all that." He knew what he was saying didn't make sense, but that didn't matter. "The tendons ripped and the joint needed to be repaired, anyway…it's still recovering, I can't really heavy lift."

Pedro nodded slowly, giving him a suspicious look. He ultimately decided that it didn't really matter if Jay was lying or not. "Is fine." He said, his sentence not really making sense. "She will bring down two other men that will lift this." He looked up at the top of the stairs where Lindsay was going into a room.

Erin approached it slowly, confused. She twisted the handle, surprised to find it unlocked. Maybe they did lock from the outside. She shrugged and walked inside where Charlie and Kevin were still sitting against the wall, neither of them had moved. She walked over.

"Erin, what-" Kevin started.

But Erin didn't let him finish, "Shh. Listen, we don't have a lot of time. Jay and Adam are downstairs, pretending to be…buyers, I don't know. They're trying to lift these crates, my team is outside." She whispered, "The guy is here…to pick me up, that guy is here so we have to do something." She paused, "Here's the plan-"

"Wait, your team is here?" Charlie asked, shocked.

Erin nodded, "Shhh. Listen. I am going to take you down stairs, we will be normal until he uncuffs you. Then, I'll make a distract, fall or run or fight, I don't know, but then you two take out as many as you can and Jay and Adam will too, alright?"

They nodded.

"Come on."

Downstairs, Jay, Pedro, Patrick, Shane and Adam were all moving the crates. Adam and Jay were slowing down the process considerably. Because of Jay's 'shoulder', they stopped every few feet and put the crate down and Adam was going on to Shane about how he couldn't get a good grip. All of them looked up as Erin made her way down the stairs with two other men.

Jay had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he saw Charlie. How did he get in here? He wanted to shake his head in disbelief, but all he could do was look down at the crate in front of him and keep his poker face.

Pedro walked over to the three of them when they came down, "Gracías chica." He gave Erin a smile before walking to Charlie and Kevin, "Now, I will give you two the same rule as her. I am going to uncuff you. The doors are all locked except for the front. Do not try to run, do not try to escape. We will find you and we will kill you. Understand?"

Charlie and Kevin both nodded.

Pedro then proceeded to uncuff Kevin and Charlie.

As that was happening, Erin looked over at Jay and met his eyes. She tried desperately to communicate what was about to happen. She gave him the slightest nod and then turned away, hoping he got the message. Behind her, she heard him say something else.

"Hey Adam, you know what this reminds me of?"

Adam looked up from his crate, "Huh?"

Jay smirked, "This reminds me of that Halloween a few years ago when you and Lacey had those crates full of…what was it again?" He asked, looking to Ruzek for some help.

"I don't know, man. Are you talking about the paint cans?"

"Yea, in the crates."

Ruzek nodded slowly, "Yea. Sorry about that." He smirked, "But that was one damn good Halloween, wasn't it?"

Halloween, the safe word.

And in that same moment, as Ruzek was finishing his sentence, Erin started running. She sprinted over to Pedro and jumped onto his back, tackling him to the ground, the slippery, gasoline covered ground.

Pedro was surprised, but not totally dazed. He elbowed Erin after they hit the ground, pushing her backwards. And then, in the same instant, he flipped over and he whipped her across the face with the pair of handcuffs he still had in his hand.

By the crates, Shane moved to go and help Pedro, but Ruzek was on that. He tackled Shane and the two of them got into it. Shane may have looked muscular, but Ruzek was trained so he dodged Shane's slow, blunder of punches and struck back with precision and force.

Charlie froze. He saw Patrick running towards Erin and Pedro, but he didn't move.

So Jay stepped in. He pushed past Charlie and ran up behind Patrick, grabbing him by the shirt and throwing him to the ground a few feet away from where Erin and Pedro were still fighting. He would have helped Erin too if Patrick hadn't grabbed his ankles and pulled him to the ground too.

Kevin was standing by the wall. He didn't know what to do. He was holding his handcuffs in his hand. He looked to his right and saw the metal pipe. An idea came to his mind suddenly, more of an impulse actually. He stepped over and banged the cuffs against the metal pipe.

Charlie turned around when he heard the first bang, "What are you doing?" He asked.

Kevin glanced back at Charlie, "All I need is a spark." He said quickly, "Go to the stairs. Get everyone to the second floor!" He exclaimed, banging the cuffs against the pipe again. The second time, he saw a small spark, but it wasn't big enough.

Charlie ran over to Ruzek and Shane. He came up behind Shane, who didn't even see him and pulled him backwards before shoving him into the ground. And then, he looked at Ruzek. "We have to get everyone onto the second floor!" He yelled.

Ruzek nodded and they ran over to the two fights still going on a few yards away.

Jay was holding Patrick down on the ground, pinning his neck. He squeezed as hard as he could, willing the guy to pass out.

But Charlie stepped in, shoving Jay off of him. "Stop." He said, "He's one of the good guys, okay? Maybe confused, but definitely one of the good guys." He told Jay and because of the urgency, Jay didn't have any choice other than to trust him.

Patrick gasped for air and Ruzek helped him off the ground while Charlie and Jay went over to Pedro and Erin.

Erin's face was bleeding. She couldn't tell where the blood was coming from or where the pain was coming from, all she knew was that she was bleeding. Her vision was blurry and she blinked trying to see Pedro in front of her. So disoriented, she barely saw his fist coming towards her face, not until it was a few inches away anyway. It hit her other cheek, not the one that he had hit with handcuffs so she was at least thankful for that, but she knew she was losing and she was too weak and lost to fight back now. She just wanted it to be over and lucky for her, a few moments later it was.

She heard a struggle behind her and then heard Jay's voice above her, "Erin, get up. Go to the stairs." He said, the urgency in his voice alarming. She didn't know if she could get up. She could barely see out of her right eye.

But then Jay was pulling her up. He had grabbed her by the arm and was pulling her up off the ground. And then she was on her feet. Confused, she stumbled in the direction that she thought the stairs were in. Behind her she heard struggling, grunting and distantly, banging.

And then Pedro, who was weak and tired, realized he'd forgotten something. He reached backwards and pulled a gun from out of his belt. He grabbed the confused Erin and pressed the barrel to her head, "I'll do it. I swear to God, I will drop her right now!" He yelled.

Jay put his hands up, glancing at Ruzek and Charlie, who were making their way to the stairs. "Let's just calm down." He said, heart pounding.

Pedro glared at Jay, "Who are you? Who do you work for?"

"CPD." Jay said truthfully. "You don't have to do this, alright? Don't make this worse than it already is, alright? How about this? I have a proposition for you, listen." He said to Pedro, who just glared at him, "My name is Jay Halstead. Right now, I have a 10,000 dollar bond over my head. 10,000 dollars. So how about this? Me for her." He said, "You get 10,000, she gets to be free."

Pedro stared at him, but didn't say anything at first.

Kevin was sweating, he was putting in as much force as he could to this pipe. All he needed was a spark, just a spark. He glanced back at the small group of people still on the floor and hesitated before bringing the handcuff down against the pipe one more time.

But nothing happened.

Frustrated, Kevin knew there had to be something else. So he abandoned the wall and ran over to the table in the center of the room. And there on the table, like something brought down from heaven, was a box of matches. He grabbed it and ran to the outer edge of the room. Slowly, he pulled out a match. He scratched it against the wall and lit it before looking over at all the people, "RUN!" He yelled before he threw it a few feet away from where he was and then ran like hell.

Patrick saw the fire before he heard Kevin. He started running for the stairs, his desperation fueling him on. But then he saw Erin, Jay and Pedro standing there and he knew he couldn't leave them. He ran up behind Pedro, who didn't even hear him, and tackled him and Erin. The gun slid across the floor. "Get to the stairs!" Patrick yelled to whoever was listening.

Jay pulled Erin up off the ground quickly, "Run!" He yelled as he turned and sprinted for the stairs.

But Erin barely heard him. Her head was pounding, her vision was blurry and everything around her was spinning. But she felt the heat. It warmed her skin in the moments before the fire reached her. She almost thought it was pleasant until she saw the light of the fire out of her peripheral vision and realized what it was: Fire.

Patrick dragged Pedro across the floor to the stairs, which was considerably easy, considering he was out cold and the ground was slippery with gasoline. He pulled him up onto the stairs, which were elevated off the ground and keeping them out of the reach of the fire.

Ruzek was already safe on the stairs with Shane, who he had dragged there because they knew it was inhumane to let him burn in the fire. With them, Charlie and Jay had made it to the stairs too. The only two people missing were Kevin and Erin, who they could all see in the middle of the room:

Kevin, who was running for his life and Erin, panicked and desperate, trying to figure out which direction the stairs were in.


	9. Control

"Hey, come on Kelly, you gotta talk to me!" Shay urged as she rushed down the hall after him. He'd just returned to shift after being MIA for at least three or four hours and after she'd tried asking him where he went, he'd just stormed off, but she wasn't about to let it go.

Kelly whipped around so that he was face to face with her, "Talk to you? About what, huh? I left and I'm back, that's all that matters." He said with a shake of his head before he turned around again and started to walk away.

But Shay grabbed his arm. "Kelly, I swear you turn around one more time and I'll-"

"You'll what?" Kelly said as he glared back at her, "No, really…tell me. What are you planning to do? Oh yea, I already know what you're going to do." He nodded slowly, "Nothing." He said, the harsh sarcasm thick in his voice.

Shay stared up at him, shaking her head. "What is wrong with you?" She asked, appalled by his behavior. "Listen, I know you're scared or worried, but we're all here for you and you need to talk to someone." She paused, "And I'm here, standing right in front of you. So talk."

"About what, Shay?" Kelly asked, frustrated.

Shay shook her head, "First of all, where did you go? What happened?"

Kelly sighed, this was one of the things he really didn't want to talk about. "I went down to the police station and tried to help out, but Halstead and I butted heads so I couldn't. But then…" He shook his head, feeling stupid.

"What?"

"I went down to one of their stake outs or whatevers and I…" He shrugged, "I went crazy, I did. Because I knew the guy'd seen her, I knew he knew where she was. So did Voight. But I got to him first and I was yelling…" He shook his head, "It was stupid."

Shay shook her head, "It's not stupid, Kelly. Caring is never stupid."

Kelly sighed and rubbed his hand across his head, "It just sucks being so out of control again. It's just like when my sister went missing, I couldn't do anything. I just had to wait and wait…and I don't know." He thought of his sister and about Darden, "I just can't lose anyone else."

Shay looked at him for a long time before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him, "I know." She said as she rubbed his back. A few seconds later, she pulled away, "So you really care about her, huh?"

Kelly looked back at Shay and then nodded, "I think I do…" He said, finding himself surprised. He hadn't felt this way in a long time and now, the girl he felt it for was missing or taken or something terrifying like that.

Shay nodded and rubbed his arm, "Well we're all here for you, alright? We're a family."

"Oh god, you're ruining the moment with your sappy little comment." Kelly said, a small smile coming to his face.

Shay punched his arm, "Oh shut up. We are a family and however sappy you say that is, it'll never stop being true." She said with a shrug.

"There it goes."

She tilted her head, "What?"

"The moment, you ruined it."

Shay laughed and punched him again before they started to walk back to the main room. Just as they reached the door, the speakers above them beeped, signaling that they had a fire or rescue or emergency to get to.

"Squad 3, Truck 51, Ambulance 61. Warehouse fire 2942 Madison Drive." The robotic voice said.

Shay looked up as it spoke and then turned to Kelly, "If you need to hang back, hang back. But if you go, you're head has to be there, alright?" She clarified.

Kelly nodded, "I'm coming. It's just a routine call, we'll be out of there in an hour tops." He said with a smile, "And Shay…" He called as she started to walk towards the ambulance. When she turned, he added, "Thanks."

Shay nodded in response before turning and climbing into the ambulance with Dawson.

Kelly walked over to the truck and slipped into his suit, pulling the sleeves on early because it was cold outside. He climbed into the truck while Newhouse drove. He could hear Capps and the others talking about something in the back, but he wasn't paying attention. He was just thinking quietly to himself. Over the speaker, a voice was briefing them on the fire.

"Warehouse on fire, there's at least 5 or 6 people still trapped inside, including a few CPD officers. There will be officers at the scene waiting. It started as a gasoline fire because the warehouse used to be an oil refinery."

Kelly nodded slowly, hoping that he would be able to get the CPD officers and the others out. There was a deep respect between the CPD and the CFD and all the other Chicago Departments, they looked out for each other so Kelly hoped they'd be able to get everyone out.

When they pulled up, the fire was still raging. It looked like it hadn't spread to the second floor yet and there was smoke venting out of the windows and the front door. It didn't look too bad, they just had to get in, put it out and save the victims. Three points sounded simple, but it was a lot more complicated. There were a lot of other factors that came into play and they always had to be careful.

Squad 3 exited their truck and met up with Truck 51. They went over their game plan to get in the building. They were going to try to get in on foot and then work their way up to the second floor if possible. It seemed like a pretty solid plan.

That was until Kelly heard a familiar voice from behind him.

"Severide, Casey."

It was Voight.

Kelly turned, surprised.

Voight was walking up to them, Antonio on his heels. "I don't know what you've heard about the fire, but if you're planning to get on the first floor, it's impossible. The floor is covered in gasoline, the whole first floor is blocked. And everyone is on the second floor."

"Then we go to the second floor." Kelly said, "Newhouse start extending the ladder. Get it to the top left window." He glanced at Casey, "We have to vent the fire from the roof just to be safe." He said.

Casey nodded, "Mouch, Hermann, there's a ladder on the west side of the building, use it to climb to the roof and vent, alright?" He ordered, "We need five guys: Me, Severide, Newhouse, Otis, Cruz. Come on, we're going up the ladder. Everyone else, start putting the fire out."

"How many people are inside?" Kelly asked, turning to Voight quickly.

Voight thought about it for a split second, "Five that I know for sure, there could be more. I'd be aiming for at least 10." He paused, "It was a takedown, Kelly." He paused, "It was a takedown to save Lindsay. She's inside with Halstead, Ruzek, two guys that were detained with Erin and god knows who else."

Kelly stopped.

"Wait, what?" Casey asked from next to him, "Lindsay, Halstead and Ruzek?" He asked to clarify.

Voight nodded, "Yes. We lost contact with them when the fire started, but it sounded like there was some commotion and then the building caught fire. We tried to go in, but it was blocked by the flames and the gas." He explained.

"That's probably for the best, you didn't have suits or air…" Casey hated talking to Voight, but he genuinely liked Ruzek and Lindsay, Halstead not so much, just because he'd been in a relationship with Gabby before him, but still. They were all people. "We'll get them out." He said.

Kelly tried to swallow. His throat was dry, his hands were started to sweat. He looked up at the building, picturing the flames inside engulfing her and Ruzek and Halstead. He shook his head, terrified. He had to get in there, he had to get them out, he had to get her out. He glanced at Casey and Voight before taking off in a run towards the squad's truck where Newhouse and Capps had just finished extending the ladder to the window. He climbed onto the top of the truck and grabbed the railing, about to start making his way up.

But then Casey climbed up behind him, "Severide!" He yelled, "Stop, you can't go in yet, Hermann and Mouch haven't finished the vent yet." He urged, staring over at the building radiating with heat a few yards away from them.

Kelly shook his head, "We can't wait. The fire is spreading, it'll be on the second floor soon and once that happens, the whole building could collapse, probably will. We don't have time to wait on a vent." He argued.

But Casey grabbed him, "No." He shook his head, "This is how Darden died. Because we didn't wait for the vent, alright? Trust me, we have to wait." He said, "They're almost done."

Kelly shrugged Casey off, staring up at the building, fidgeting nervously. "Once we go in…"

"You lead the way, I got your back." Casey finished for him, "Just be careful. Our safety comes first because if we get hurt, they don't get out." He warned.

Severide nodded.

And in that same moment, Mouch's voice came over Casey's walkie. "Done with the vent up here." He said quickly.

Severide didn't even wait to hear anything else. He turned and started running up the ladder towards the window. He took quick, calculated steps as he went up. Once at the top, he glanced backwards and saw Casey directly behind him, followed by Otis, Cruz and Newhouse. Carefully, he turned and slid the window open. The heat was almost unbearable, but his suit did a good job of stopping it. Before entering, he lowered the oxygen mask onto his face and then climbed through.

The floor was the hottest part. He assumed it was because the fire was downstairs and heating the floor of the second floor. He stepped forward, but could also see that the floors were warped from the heat. He figured in at least 20, maybe 30 minutes, they would give out all together. He walked forward.

"Fire Department, call out!" He yelled out into the darkness. He could see ash and soot everywhere, it was drifting down from the ceilings. He knew that wasn't good. Behind him, Casey called the same thing he did, "Fire Department, call out!"

They were answered with silence.

The crackling of the fire was creating a lot of noise, along with the creaking of the building. It was mostly concrete, but the fire still wasn't good for it.

Kelly turned and opened the door to one of the rooms. He went in and did a quick sweep, but didn't see anyone. He watched as Casey went into the next one and Otis and Cruz took two others. But they all turned out to be empty.

"Fire Department! Call out!"

The fire crackled.

"Fire Department! Call out!" He tried again.

Nothing.

"If there's anyone in here, call out! Let us know where you are!" Kelly yelled, blinded by desperation. He squinted through the smoke. He took in a short breath and listened, but didn't see anything or anyone "Fire Department, call-"

"Wait, Severide." Casey said, holding up his hand, "Stop. Listen."

Kelly froze, barely breathing. He strained to hear over the crackling of the fire and after a few seconds, he heard what Casey was talking about. Distantly, there was a banging. It was rhythmic and sounded like metal banging against metal. He nodded at Casey before taking off past him and rushing down the hall towards the noise.

It was coming from the last door at the end of the hall.

He made his way down there, the banging only getting louder and louder as he neared the door. Once there, he pushed it open only to find Ruzek sitting directly on the other side. He was holding a metal shard in his hand that he'd been banging against one of the metal pipes.

"Help…" He coughed.

Behind him, Kelly could see at least seven other people behind him, all clustered in that one room. There was an open window at the other side of the room, but it wasn't doing much good to help them.

Kelly grabbed Ruzek by the arm. "Walk to Casey." He said, helping Ruzek up and guiding him over to Casey, who was waiting in the doorway. From there, Kelly advanced. He saw two men lying on the ground that he didn't recognize. He pulled out his walkie, "We're gonna need more men. At least two more."

"Is anyone else awake?" Kelly tried, looking around. He saw a person in the back corner move. He walked over, it was a man he didn't know. He was extremely tall and extremely large and it took a lot for Kelly to pull him up, but once he was standing, he was able to make his way over to Casey.

Two other guys, one of which looked to be a Hispanic guy, the other with long black hair and a dark black beard, were also able to sort of stumble-walk over to Casey, who handed them off to Cruz, who then helped them to the ladder where other guys were waiting to help them down.

Kelly crouched down in front of two guys that were lying next to each other, one was large and muscular with thick black hair and the other was skinny and pale. He shook each of them, but neither woke up. So carefully, he lifted the skinny one off the ground and handed him off to Newhouse, who was waiting. Casey then helped him grab the muscular one and they handed him off to Capps and Cruz to carry out.

There were only a few people left then. He looked down and saw Halstead a few feet away, behind him was another guy and then a girl, he recognized her soft brown hair and even more specifically, her dark purple nail polish.

Lindsay.

Kelly wanted to go to her immediately, but Halstead was lying right in front of him. He couldn't just ignore the guy. So gently, he started to drag Halstead out only to have him wake up a few moments later. With Kelly's help, he was able to stand and help Kelly carry the other guy, who was unconscious, out of the room to be handed off to Newhouse and Otis.

"Go with Casey." Kelly told Halstead as he started to walk back over to Lindsay, but Halstead didn't listen. He just followed Kelly back over to where Lindsay was lying on the hot cement floor. "Go!" Kelly tried again.

But Halstead shook his head, "No I'm staying. Just let me help."

Kelly shot Halstead a glare, "You want to help? Get out. Because right now, you're just going to get in the way. Get out of here, alright?" He bent over next to Lindsay and shook her gently, "Erin…" He tried, hoping she would open her eyes.

She didn't.

Halstead didn't leave either. Casey had to go into the room, grab him and pull him towards the door for him to finally give in and walk out.

Kelly touched Erin's face. It was covered in ash and dust, but when he felt for a pulse, he was relieved to find that she still had one, but her breathing was shallow and strained. He could see that her shirt was seared on the edges and she had a burn on her right arm and on the palm of her left hand. Cautiously, he slid his arms underneath her and lifted her off the ground.

She still didn't move, which he thought was concerning. He carried her out of the room and started making his way down the hall. Casey and Halstead were walking a few feet ahead of him. He concentrated on keeping up with them, trying to ignore the unsteadiness of the floor beneath him.

And then he felt her stir.

Slowing his pace slightly, he looked down at her. "Erin?" He asked gently.

Her eyes were open, but looked like it was taking her a lot of effort to keep them that way. He saw her mouth move, but didn't hear anything coming out. So he leaned down towards her, "What?" He asked, listening.

Quietly she spoke again, "You came…"

Kelly smiled, "Yea, I came." He said, looking down for her. "You didn't think I'd let you suffocate in here, did you? I mean, you did get that expensive steak a few weeks ago, but…I guess I can forgive you for that."

She laughed lightly, only to end up coughing a few moments later.

Kelly picked up his pace. He was still behind Casey and Halstead, they were only a few yards away from the open window where Cruz and Capps were climbing out. He could practically feel the clean outside air on his throat. He imagined someone would have to take Lindsay from him, probably to the hospital. He hoped that she'd be alright. The burns looked serious, but not life threatening. He wasn't sure about her lungs though. He just hoped that everything would turn out okay.

And for once, he felt he could control if it did. He was carrying her out, saving her, instead of standing on the sidelines and hoping that someone else did. It was a relief to him, being able to be the one assuring that she was safe. And he would do that.

He had control.

Had.

It only took a matter of seconds for all that control, assurance and relief to be ripped away from him. He watched as, directly in front of him, Casey fell. It didn't make sense at first, but then he realized the situation.

The floors.

He'd predicted the fire from the first floor would bring down the floors, he just thought they'd have more time. More time to get the people out, more time to get themselves out. But he'd predicted wrong.

He watched Casey fall through to the first floor, Halstead falling with him. He started to call out to them, but was interrupted by the floor underneath him starting to shift.

And before he knew it, the floor underneath him was falling. He lost his footing, but was able to grab the handle of one of the steel doors nearby. As he grabbed it, Lindsay tumbled out of his arms, but before she fell down with the concrete floor, he grabbed her arm.

IN the same instant, the door handle he was holding onto twisted and the door swung open, swinging both him and Lindsay to the side, dangerously close to the fire that was raging a few feet below. He started sweating within a matter of minutes, his muscles burning. He could feel Lindsay's arm slipping out of his grasp.

"Erin, can you hear me?"

She didn't answer.

"Erin!"

She moved slightly, "Yea, I can hear you."

Kelly nodded, "You're slipping, alright? I need you to grab onto me. Grab my pants, my suspenders, my shirt, whatever you can get a hold on to. Just make sure you have a good grip because I can't hold you much longer."

She nodded and lifted her arm, using her good hand to grab onto one of his legs. She wrapped her arm around it, "Okay…" She said, clutching it tightly, "Okay, I'm good."

Kelly was hesitant, but he had to trust her so he let go only to be relieved to find that she was still holding onto his leg after that. He looked down into the pit of debris and could see Casey and Halstead both lying in the concrete. "Casey!" He tried.

When he got no reply, he tried again, "Casey! Talk to me."

"Kelly."

He looked down at Erin, who was still holding on to his leg.

She looked up at him, "Kelly, I don't think I can hold on for that much longer." She paused, "I'm so tired…"

Kelly shook his head, "Yes you can, Erin. You can hold on. Just for a little bit longer, I'm sure someone will be in here soon, alright? Just hold on." He said, looking down.

Erin's hands were shaking, "Kelly…" She shook her head.

"Don't do this, Erin." Kelly pleaded, "Don't let go." He begged, even though he could feel her slipping. He could feel her start sliding off. "Erin, give me your hand." He extended his arm, even though it was tired, he would rather hold her up then have her fall.

Erin weakly lifted her arm and he grabbed it, holding her up.

But it didn't matter.

Because a few seconds after they both started to feel safe again, the door handle he was holding onto couldn't take the weight anymore. Kelly had felt it start to bend under their weight, but after he pulled Erin up again, it really couldn't hold them anymore.

The metal handle snapped off in his hand and then they were falling, but even in all the chaos and panic and fear, Kelly never let go of Erin's arm.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey guys! Sorry I'm late one day, but at least I'm getting better. I really like where this story is starting to go so it should be easier for me to crank out chapters, considering that I'm getting to the exciting stuff now. Hopefully you guys like the direction I'm heading in. Get ready for some intense, exciting and maybe even heartbreaking chapters coming soon. Hopefully they'll be good.

Can't wait for Chicago PD tonight. Hope you guys are all watching too.

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!


	10. A Job To Do

Jay wasn't even sure when he woke up. The world was spinning and everything was so blurry that he couldn't even tell that what was going on. His eyes stung from the smoke and he could feel a steady flow of tears streaming down his face in his body's attempt to relieve the pain in his eyes.

He opened his mouth to breathe, but he barely got any air in, mostly just smoke. He coughed and blinked a few more times, his vision slightly improving. He could see a gaping hole in the ceiling above him. That was when he remembered what happened.

Casey had been helping him along, well more like forcing him along. He'd wanted to stay behind with Erin, but Casey thought differently. They were almost to the window when the floor they were standing on fell out from underneath them.

After that, he didn't remember anything else. Not even hitting the ground. He turned his head to the right and saw the fire raging mercilessly, but because of the concrete debris blocking it's path, it couldn't spread to where he was lying.

He turned to the left, his neck protesting in pain. There, next to him, he saw Casey lying still on some debris. His beeper thing, or whatever it was called, that beeped whenever a firefighter was lying still for too long, was going off. It beeped with a loud, shrill alarm. And distantly, Jay could hear a second alarm going off somewhere else. He assumed it was Severide.

Using the little bit of strength he had left, Jay pushed himself off the pile of debris he'd been lying on. He looked himself over quickly and didn't see any serious injuries, just a few superficial cuts and bruises. He stepped over a large slab of concrete and crouched next to Casey, who luckily, still had his oxygen mask on.

Jay shook him, "Casey!" He yelled, voice rough. He coughed a few times, his throat hostile to the yelling. He shook the lieutenant a few more times and to his surprise and relief, Casey stirred. "Are you hurt?"

Casey took a moment, blinked a few times, and then shook his head in response while reaching up and turning his beeper off. He pulled his walkie talkie up to his mouth. "Need backup in the South Side of the warehouse, the floor of the second floor collapsed. Detective Halstead and I are fine, but I don't have eyes on Severide or Lindsay. I, repeat, we need backup. The second floor is unstable and it looks like more of it is going to start coming down soon, maybe even the roof. Need immediate backup."

Jay stood and moved past Casey towards more of the debris, looking around for Severide and Lindsay. Behind him, Casey followed, calling something after him that he didn't hear. It was probably a warning, but he ignored it and pushed forward, climbing over a few large piles of debris until finally, he saw Severide.

He looked to be unconscious and was lying underneath a large block of concrete.

Behind Jay, he heard Casey yell, "Severide!" And then he ran past Jay towards the other firefighter. "Halstead, come here, help me lift this off of him."

Jay ran over and got his arms underneath one of the concrete block while Casey had a hold on the other end. After a few moments of pulling, they were able to lift it up and move it off of Severide's midsection.

Casey crouched next to Severide, "Hey, Severide!" He said loudly, shaking him.

It only took a few seconds for him to wake up. He let out a moan when he did, "What happened?" He asked, coughing a few times.

Casey nodded up to the ceiling, "The second floor collapsed. Some concrete fell on you, are you hurt? Can you move your legs?" He asked, concerned that the concrete had caused severe damage.

Kelly bent his knees, "Yea, I'm good. Maybe a few fractured ribs." He shrugged, "Help me up?"

Casey stepped back, grabbed Severide's arms and then pulled him up off the ground.

"Severide, where's Lindsay?" Jay asked from where he was standing a few feet away.

Kelly brushed some dust off of himself before looking around, "I was holding her up. I had a hold of her arm, she can't be far from here."

Jay gave him an appalled look, "She can't be far from here?" He shook his head, frustrated. He moved through the debris desperately, "Erin!" He called, "Erin! Where are you?"

"Erin, call out!" Kelly yelled.

Casey stayed back a few feet, "Found Severide, he's fine. Still looking for Lindsay. Where's that backup, chief?"

"On the way, hang in there."

Casey nodded and then followed Kelly and Jay.

They were walking through the debris for a few minutes, Jay at the front, followed by Kelly and then Casey. It was getting smokier and smokier and then finally, Jay saw a figure through the haze. At first, he thought it was the backup that Casey had called for, but then as it got closer, he realized it wasn't a fireman.

It was Erin.

She stumbled through the debris, up to Jay, and practically fell into his arms, "Jay…" She said, her voice hoarse.

Jay held her up, "Erin." He looked her over. It didn't look like she was hurt anywhere, apart from the fact that he could see a cut on the edge of her hairline, dripping down into her face. "Are you okay?" He asked.

She nodded slowly, her breathing shallow. "I…can't…breathe…" She wheezed.

Behind Jay, Kelly ripped his oxygen mask off and stepped over, putting the mask over her face. "Jay, let me take her." He said, "You're weak. Let me take her."

Jay looked at Kelly. He really didn't want to. Deep down, he wanted to be the one to save her and to keep her safe, but he knew he couldn't, especially not in this situation so he gently helped Erin over to Kelly, who scooped her up into his arms and started carrying her through the debris.

Jay walked over to Casey, who also took off his own mask and gave it to Jay, who gratefully accepted it and then Casey helped Jay along through the debris, following Severide, who was leading the way through.

But the fire was blocking the exit. And the only reason the fire hadn't spread to where they were yet was because the debris was mostly concrete so the fire couldn't spread to it.

Kelly stopped at the edge of the concrete barrier, the fire just feet away from where he was standing. He looked down at Erin as he did, but it looked like she was lulling out of consciousness. He realized that his oxygen tank was probably getting close to empty. "Erin, stay with me." He shook her a little.

She nodded and lifted her head, eyes opening slightly.

Kelly looked back at Casey, "We have to get out of here. I don't know if she can wait until backup. Halstead probably can't either." He glanced at Jay, who was leaning against Casey, eyes lulling in the same way that Lindsay's were.

Casey glanced down at his belt, "I don't have anything on me we could use. It was just supposed to be a search and rescue…" He said, shaking his head. They were totally unprepared for the situation that they were in.

Kelly carefully set Erin down on some of the debris, slipping the oxygen tank off his back quickly and laying that next to her too. "I'll be right back, okay?" He said softly and when she nodded, he turned to Casey, who was helping Halstead sit on the ground with the oxygen tank.

"This is the plan…" Kelly said, "We take some blocks of concrete and throw them against that wall. We try to make a hole." He said with a shrug, pointing to the back wall that wasn't blocked by the fire. "Honestly, I think that's the only option we have." He said, "Let's lift."

Casey nodded and walked over to one of the blocks of concrete with Kelly. They both took a side and lifted it off the ground. Swinging it back and forth a few times for momentum, on the third swing, they released it towards the wall.

The concrete block collided with the concrete wall and broke into pieces, only leaving a dent behind.

Kelly gave a small nod and bent down, ready to pick up another.

Casey followed and they lifted another block before sending it hurtling towards the wall like the last. It hit just below the first dent, leaving behind a dent just above it.

Within the next few minutes, they lifted four more blocks and threw them at the wall. The first dent they made was getting larger with every block they threw. After six blocks, the dent was really started to be noticeable. When they reached eight blocks, they could tell that portion of the wall was starting to weaken.

At that point, they decided throwing blocks was too slow so they each found smaller, but still large blocks that they individually hammered against the wall a few times until it broke, where they would then go find a new block.

That method really worked and over the next few blocks of hammering, a small hole was created and from there, it wasn't as hard to just make it bigger. When it was a foot wide, they decided to stop with the hammering and go back to the big blocks to create more damage.

Kelly looked up at Casey, glancing over at Erin and Halstead, who hadn't moved since they'd set them down. "This is the last one, alright? If we do this right, it'll be the last one."

And Casey nodded.

So they swung the large block back and forth hard, creating a lot of motion and momentum. And once they'd created enough leverage, Kelly locked eyes with Casey, "On three." He said as they swung it, "One…" Swing, "Two…" Swing, "Three!"

They both let go.

The block flew towards the wall and collided just above the hole, hard. And just as Kelly and Casey had intended, the wall underneath the collision collapsed, creating a hole just big enough for people to squeeze through one at a time.

"Alright!" Kelly said, relieved, "You go out. I'll send Halstead and Lindsay through and then I'll come out."

Casey nodded and traveled towards the hole, barely able to squeeze through because of his large jacket and pants. Once he was outside and able to breathe in the fresh, clean air, he was able to realize just how smoky and disgusting the air had been before. He hovered near the hole and called in what was happening to Chief Boden.

Kelly went back over to Halstead and Lindsay. This time, he went for Lindsay first. Carefully, he lifted her off the ground, but she didn't move. "Erin…" He tried, but she still didn't move.

But he didn't have time to keep trying. He ran to the hole, "Casey!"

"Here!"

Kelly nodded and bent down to the hole, carefully pushing Erin through to the other side where Casey was waiting and easily took her out of Severide's arms. After she was through, Kelly also pushed the oxygen tank she was attached to through.

Casey carried her away from the hole and slipped her mask off before laying her neatly on the ground. He didn't have time to try and wake her up though because he had to run back over to the hole. He got back just in time to help Halstead through. The second detective was still conscious and Casey helped him over towards Erin where he also pulled off Halstead's mask too.

Casey noticed that Halstead was wheezing when the mask came off. He knew that wasn't a good sign, but then again…Lindsay not being unconscious was definitely not a good sign either. As he stood over Lindsay, he heard Severide come up behind him.

Kelly dropped to his knees by Erin, "Hey…" He shook her gently, "Erin, wake up. C'mon, wake up." He tried as he spiraled into a panic. He shook her with a little bit more urgency, "Erin! Wake up! Please!" He yelled down at her.

Casey walked up, "Severide."

"Erin! Please!"

"Severide!" He grabbed his friend.

Kelly didn't stop though, he couldn't. "Erin! C'mon, don't do this!" He said, staring down at her.

"Kelly!"

Finally, the other man turned.

"You have to stop, alright?" Casey said, crouching down next to Severide, "It's over."

Kelly's lip quivered and then he buried his head in Erin's stomach, clutching her arm tightly in his hand.

Casey shook his head, clutching Kelly's shoulder to offer some support, even it was something that small and usually, unimportant.

Kelly couldn't think. He hadn't imagined this. He hadn't prepared for it. Slowly, he pulled away from her and turned to Casey, eyes red. "I can't believe…" He shook his head, "I can't believe this."

Casey nodded slowly, trying to think of something to say.

But before he could, they both heard a small cough come from Lindsay and before Kelly could even turn to look, he felt her hand move and grab his arm.

He looked down, "Erin?"

She nodded, clutching the sleeve of his jacket tightly, "I…" She took a deep breath in, "I must…have…blacked out." She had to wheeze in some air between her words. Her lungs felt like they were burning.

Kelly smiled, "Yea…you must have." He shook his head, trying to remember if he'd checked her pulse a few minutes earlier or not. He'd thought he lost her and now, here she was, looking up at him. He put his hand over hers, "God, don't do that to me again, alright?"

Erin let out a cough-laugh, "I…won't…if you…won't."

"Deal."

The next hour went by in a blur.

Gabby and Shay come over and took Lindsay and Halstead both away in ambulances, along with all of the other people who'd been trapped inside the building. Two other EMTs checked Casey and Kelly, giving them oxygen to breathe, but ultimately deciding that they were going to be fine.

The fire department put out the fire and did a secondary sweep, luckily finding no perished victims, only a whole lot of scorched coke and a bag full of money that had been untouched.

And then the Intelligence Unit and Firehouse 51 gathered at Chicago Med, waiting on the outcome of all of the patients.

After about an hour of waiting, a doctor came by, Halstead following behind him, his shoulder in a sling. The doctor approached Voight and Antonio, who had both stood by then, "You guys his coworkers?" He asked.

Antonio nodded.

"Boss, technically." Voight said with a smirk.

The doctor nodded, "Had a dislocated shoulder, didn't look too bad, just had to get it back in place. The shoulder should be healed in a week and a half, two weeks at the most. He can go back to work, just take it easy for at least the first week, after 5 days, the sling can come off. I'm counting on you guys to watch him, he seems like a loose cannon."

Jay gave him a confused look.

"I'm kidding buddy, but seriously, take it easy. I know you'll want to get back on the job and that is all good and fine, but I'm advising you very seriously to be careful with your shoulder, you got it?" The doctor asked.

Jay nodded slowly, "Thanks doc."

"Any updates on Erin Lindsay or Adam Ruzek?" Voight asked.

The doctor shook his head, "But you guys were the ones who brought in all the fire victims, right?" He asked, looking around at the fire department, he assumed the answer was yes. "Well, most of the victims seemed to be okay. We had a few burns, one guy had a third degree on his foot, but we were able to perform a skin graft. I'd say most of the victims got out in time, including Ms. Lindsay and Mr. Ruzek, I just don't have specific updates at the moment."

Voight nodded slowly, "Thank you."

The doctor nodded and turned, leaving them alone.

"Hey, you alright?" Voight asked, clamping a hand on Jay's good shoulder.

Jay nodded in response, not sure if he actually meant it, "I'm good. They gave me some stuff for the pain…" He muttered, "I just wish we knew about Ruzek and Lindsay…" He shook his head.

"I know…" He said with a sigh, "Take a seat." He nodded to the chair next to his.

Jay looked over at it and nodded, "In a minute." He said before walking over to where most of Firehouse 51 was sitting. He walked up to Casey, who was talking to Gabby. He smiled politely as he walked up, "Sorry to interrupt." He said, glancing at Gabby, "I just wanted to…thank you for what you did, I probably would have died if hadn't been for you and Severide…" He looked over at Kelly, "And all of you, so thanks. And I'm sure if Lindsay or Ruzek or any of the other guys you saved were here, they'd be saying the same thing." He held out his hand.

Casey shook it and nodded, "It's what we do." He said, "Glad you're alright, man."

Jay nodded and then walked over to Kelly, sitting down next to him for a moment, "Hey, how you holding up?" He asked, deciding that now was as good a time as ever to patch things up with the firefighter.

Kelly shrugged, confused by Jay's sudden kindness. "Worried, probably like everyone else." He looked over at Jay.

He nodded, "Well…I just wanted to say, to you specifically, that I'm sorry for the way I acted a few days ago. It was childish and I was…stressed out, I really don't know, but it was inappropriate, unprofessional, all those things and I apologize." He paused, "And for the record, you and Lindsay…you work…and I'm really glad you were there to save her."

Kelly tilted his head.

"Near death experience, don't ask." He shook his head, "It just made me see that I really have some bridges I need to mend." He paused, "So what do you say? We good?" He held out his hand.

Kelly smiled, "We're good." He took Jay's hand and shook it.

Jay nodded, stood up and walked back over to Voight, taking a seat next to his boss. "So what did I miss?" He asked, "Any new developments?"

Voight glanced at Jay and rubbed his hands together, "We got Pedro Chavez, he's here. Another guy, wanted sex offender, Shane Rabin and an accomplice Patrick O'Leary." He let out a sigh, "But no Emilio Chavez."

Jay shook his head.

Voight looked over, "Today was a win." He said slowly, "But we're not done yet."

Jay sat in silence, mulling everything over. He wasn't sure that he agreed with Voight. How could today be a win if they had failed to do the one thing they'd set out to do in the first place: save Lindsay? Sure, they'd saved her from immediate danger, but Emilio Chavez was still out there and undoubtedly still wanted all the people on his list yet.

He was proud that they'd gotten Lindsay out, that they'd prevented the fire from spreading, that they had informants and witnesses now. He was proud of all of that. They'd made progress, they had.

The only problem: No Chavez.

Not Pedro Chavez, they had him, but that really didn't matter. Emilio Chavez was the head of the whole operation to take out Lindsay and the rest of the people on the list, he was also the one controlling the rising coke ring that undoubtedly wouldn't be stopped by one fire in this one warehouse location.

The Intelligence Unit still had a job to do.

And if Voight had anything to do with it, they would get it done.

The Intelligence Unit was hurt now, they were wounded, they were worried, but they weren't done. Chavez probably thought he'd broken them, but if anything, he'd only dug his hole deeper because in the wake of something like this, their unit wasn't one to break, it was one to unify. Problems would be put on hold, everything would stay in house. They would do what they had to do.

Chavez had started something. He had started something that he probably thought he could finish, but he didn't know the Intelligence Unit, he didn't know their loyalty and their perseverance. He didn't know what he had just started.

But he was about to learn.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry it's been so long. I'm trying to write, but I'm seriously so busy right now that I have no time so I'm sorry for that. I hope you like this chapter. It's pretty intense...I guess. I like the ending of this one, it's inspired by Leonard Pitts' We Will Go Forward From This Moment article, which I love. If you haven't read it and you're up for something super inspiring to read, read that. It's just...it's amazing. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hope you keep reviewing and reading! Thanks!


	11. The Ocean

Four hours passed before the doctors came back and gave everyone an update. In that time, half of Firehouse 51 had left, but the Intelligence Unit didn't budge. Two of their own were still in there and they needed to be there when they got out.

And finally, after four hours, the doctor came back.

"Alright, I have an update." The doctor said as he approached Jay, Voight and Kelly, who were all sitting anxiously as he walked up. He looked down at his chart, "Adam Ruzek has here that one of his emergency contacts is Alvin Olinsky. Is he present?"

Olinsky stood up and walked to the doctor, "Here." He said, flashing his ID.

The doctor nodded and smiled, "Perfect. Adam Ruzek is doing just fine. He had a bad break in his left forearm, but we were able to repair it with a surgery where we inserted a rod to support the bone. The good news is that the only thing that will change about his life is his experience going through security at airports, but the bad news is that he will have to go to rehab for a week, maybe two and won't be able to shoot a firearm for maybe three or four weeks. Everything else should go back to normal. We're probably gonna keep him overnight just to be safe, but he'll be released tomorrow."

Voight nodded, silently trying to calculate how their unit would work with potentially three of their members out, not including the fact that they'd lost Jin too. They were down four members, but that wasn't his biggest concern. "And Lindsay?"

"You're Detective Voight, right?" The doctor asked, looking him over, "The same one that came for Ms. Lindsay last time she was here?"

Voight nodded and reached for his ID, but the doctor waved him off.

"No need." He said, he recognized Voight and his voice, there was no one else he could be mistaking him for. "Erin Lindsay is currently stable." He started, "There was severe damage to her lungs caused by direct inhalation of smoke and other contents, but we gave her oxygen and her shortness of breath should clear up in a few days." He paused, "More severe were her burns. There were only three and none of them were larger than a few inches wide, one on her right forearm, one on her lower back and one on the palm of her hand. The one on her back was first degree, borderline second degree and the one on her forearm was first degree too, it was the one on the palm of her left hand that gave us the most trouble." He took in a breath, "The palm of the hand has unusually thick skin due to it's excessive use, but from the looks of it, I'd guess she grabbed something extremely hot, probably a pipe or railing that burnt her hand all the way to the nerve fibers, second degree, almost third. We performed a skin graft, but the nerve endings were severely damaged and we don't know what mobility she'll have in that hand when she wakes up from the anesthesia."

Voight breathed in deeply and nodded, not accepting it. Her hand would be okay, she would wake up and move her fingers and realize how ridiculous it had been for everyone to be so concerned about it. He wouldn't accept anything just yet.

"So when can we see them?" Antonio asked.

The doctor glanced down at the chart, "Mr. Ruzek is getting released as we speak. And you can go to see Ms. Lindsay, but she may not be awake when you go to see her, the anesthetics will probably still be wearing off."

Voight nodded and turned back towards his team, a question plaguing his mind.

"I'll stay back and wait for Ruzek to get out." Olinsky said, as if he'd read Voight's mind. "And then we'll meet you guys up there."

Voight patted Olinsky's arm, "Thanks, O." He said, itching to go see Erin. He turned back to the doctor, who willingly gave him her room number and then he, along with Antonio, Jay, Kelly, Atwater and the doctor, who accompanied them because they were such a big group.

When they got to Erin's room, the doctor stood in front of the door, "Now, she's just gone through a trauma so only one person can go in at a time just so she doesn't get overwhelmed, got it?" He asked, glancing back at the door.

They nodded.

"Who's first?"

"Me." Voight said, glancing around at all the people and when no one objected, the doctor stepped to the side and allowed him to enter the room. When he stepped through the doorway, the first thing he heard was the beeping from her heart monitor. It was a steady, rhythmic beeping that he matched with his footsteps.

She was awake when he walked in.

"Hey…" He said to her carefully, "How're you feeling, kid?"

Erin cracked a smile and took in a deep, strained breath. "I feel okay." She said, her voice sounding twice as raspy and hoarse than it usually did. "How is everyone else doing?" She asked.

Voight tried to remember the details, "Halstead's alright, has a sprained shoulder. I think Severide went in for some rib fractures and Ruzek is checking out right now with a few screws in his arm." He let out a sigh, "We heard about you too, how's your hand?"

Erin smiled and looked down at the thick bandages surrounding her hand. Concentrating, she bent her fingers slowly, "The mobility is there, I just have to concentrate. The doctors say it will get easier, they seem pretty optimistic about it."

Voight smiled too, "You gave us a scare." He sighed with a small chuckle, "Me." He paused, "You gave _me_ a scare. It got me thinking about old times too." He shook his head, "When I'd sit at home and wait every night for you and Justin to come home from whatever parties you were at."

"I don't remember that…" Erin said, smirking.

Voight nodded slowly, "Because I always went upstairs when you got home. And I could hear you talking about how you got away with it, but I knew. I knew you kids were coming home late and sometimes tipsy so the next week, you'd "lose" your phone or your car would "break down" that weekend. I had my ways…"

Erin shook her head, "I never knew you were so cunning." She paused, "And so worried…?"

Voight shrugged, "I do have heart despite what people say." He took in a deep breath, "I always worried about you kids and so did Camille." He reached down and took her good hand in his, "I'm glad you're okay and I promise, I _promise_ we're gonna find the son of a bitch who did this to you, alright?"

Erin smirked and shook her head, "You're never supposed to promise."

"What?"

Erin looked up at him, "To the victims or families, you're never supposed to make a promise you can't keep." She said softly.

Voight shook his head, "No. Not this time." He said, "That's how sure I am." He paused, "We're gonna find him and when we do…" He shook his head, "He's gonna pay."

Lindsay smiled, but she wasn't sure if she should feel relieved or guilty to hear that because when Voight said someone "had to pay", she knew that they would be paying with a lot more than money. Quickly, she brushed it off, deciding to address it later.

Voight stayed with her for a few minutes after that before remembering there were a few other people waiting outside to see her. He gave her a quick hug, said his temporary goodbyes and walked out of the room.

Kelly was the next one to come in. Somehow, he wasn't sure when, he'd surpassed Jay in the line to get into her room. He waited for Voight to come out before pushing the door open and entering. His stomach fluttered when he saw her. It was like he was seeing her for the first time all over again, "Erin." He smiled his famous crooked smile.

She looked up and returned her own shy smile, "Kelly…" She paused, "How are you?" She asked, looking him over. She could see that he was still wearing the thick fire fighter pants he'd had on during the fire.

Kelly shrugged, "A few fractured ribs." He shook his head and looked down at the bandages on her arm and hand, "What about you?"

Erin looked up at him, "I'm okay. The doctors say it looks good…" She paused, "Look Kelly…I know I didn't have time during all the…chaos, but you…during the fire and the collapse, you…" She choked up, trying to come up with the words to describe how she was feeling.

Kelly rubbed her arm gently, "You don't have to say it." He said, "I already know." He paused and looked down at her, "I just wish there was more I could do for you…"

Erin shook her head, "More?" She smirked, "Kelly, you saved my life. I don't even think there's a way I could repay you for that. You don't owe me anything. If it weren't for you…" She paused, shaking her head, "I don't know what would've happened."

Kelly smiled and leaned over her bed, quiet for a few moments before finally he brushed some of her hair out of her face, "You're so beautiful." He said, "Even now…" He paused, "_Especially _now."

Erin smiled up at him.

He stood there for a few seconds more before finally leaning back, "I should go now. There's a few more people that I think want to talk to you." He smiled, "I wish I could stay, but it wouldn't be fair to them."

"Go." Erin insisted, "Change out of those smelly clothes. Don't you own a shower?"

Kelly shrugged, "No I don't." He said with a smirk, "Didn't you know? The only time I get to bathe is when it rains and I just stand out in my backyard with just some boxers on and some soap." He shrugged, "It's called modest living."

"Shut up." Erin said with a chuckle, "Go home."

Kelly nodded with a smile, "I'll be back tomorrow." He pulled the door open and exited, a smile still radiating on his face. He looked at Jay for a moment and then held out his hand, "I'll see you around." He said.

Jay shook it and returned a smile before stepping towards the door and walking inside. His heart was pounding. He could barely remember the last words they spoke to each other before now, he could barely think of anything to say. As he walked in, he just displayed a smile on his face, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Hello there." She said, a small smile on her face that highlighted small dimples on her cheeks.

Jay walked over to her bed and put his hands on the side, "Erin…" He shook his head, "It is so good to see you. God," He paused, "We got so lucky…"

Erin nodded, still smirking, "Yea…the doctors said that a few more seconds in the fire and I would have lost full mobility in my hand. One more minute breathing in the smoke, I would have had permanent respiratory impediments."

Jay looked down at her, "Then why are you smiling?" He asked, finding it very hard to muster up a smile as he saw what state she was in, lying in that bed, her hand and arm bandaged thickly along with her stomach and her shoulder (from the GSW).

Erin shrugged, "Those are just ifs, Jay. None of them happened, like you just said…we got lucky." She paused and gave a small smile, "And I think that's something to smile about."

Jay sat down in the chair next to her bed, "I don't know if you know…or if Voight told you, but we got Pedro Chavez, Patick O'Leary and Shane Rabin. From what I've heard in the past few hours, they're in good shape and have a long life in prison to look ahead to."

Erin looked up, "Wait, what do you have on Patrick O'Leary?"

"Attemped murder, smuggling, kidnapping, accomplice to arson…" Jay rattled off, trying to remember.

She shook her head, "No. He didn't try to murder anyone, he didn't smuggle, he didn't help kidnap us. He was on Chavez' list, he made a deal with them…that he would help them if they didn't kill him like they were planning to do."

Jay took in a deep breath, "He's still an accomplice."

"But what about self defense?" Erin asked, shaking her head. She paused for a moment, "When I was younger and I joined Charlie's ring of friends, I was on the outside and so was Patrick. We stuck together. We were the young ones, we were the kids who always had to prove their loyalty, the kids who always had to do the dirty work." She looked at Jay, "He had my back and now, I have to have his."

Jay shrugged, "He'd have to go to court and prove self defense, but I'm sure with your testimony and a few others, he would have a good case."

She nodded.

"There's just one other thing." Jay looked down at her, "We got Pedro Chavez, but not Emilio. He's still out there…somewhere." He said and before he let her say anything, he added, "But we're gonna get him. Voight's already contacting CI's, we're gonna have either Burgess or Roman here with you at all times, there's no way he could get to you."

"What about Kevin?"

Jay tilted his head, "Kevin?"

"Kevin Briggs." Erin clarified, "He's the son of Voight's CI that we went and talked to. They got him too, he was in the building with us, remember? Him and Charlie."

Jay nodded, "Oh yea." He shrugged again, "I'm not sure about the specifics about him, but I'm sure the doctors would have told us if anything serious had happened so he's probably okay. I can go check if you want…and give Olinsky and Ruzek the chance to say hi."

Erin smiled, "Thanks Jay." She said.

He nodded and stood up, walking towards the door. He looked back at her as he turned the handle and smiled again before finally walking out. He nodded to Ruzek and Olinsky before walking over to the nurse's station where Severide was standing.

The nurse looked up when Jay walked over, he smiled politely, "Do you have any information on Kevin Briggs by any chance? My friend is good friends with him and she just wants to know that he's okay…"

The nurse nodded slowly, "I can tell you whether he's okay or not, but nothing more than that. How does that sound?" She asked, smiling.

"Perfect." Jay said as he leaned up against the counter. He saw that she was typing so he looked away, gazing at one of the nearby walls, a smile on his face. Seeing that she was okay had put him in a much better mood. He hadn't realized how worried he'd been until he walked into her room and felt the weight lifting off of his shoulder. He really cared about her, she was his partner, one of his best friends, she was always there and he couldn't imagine that ever changing. And this time, it hadn't.

She was okay.

And she would still be there. He wouldn't have to imagine her gone anymore and that was why he couldn't help smiling. He glanced sideways and saw that Severide had a smile displayed on his face too. He knew that the other man was probably thinking the same thing that he was, but in that moment, he didn't care.

They would move on, they would catch Chavez, he would be okay, Erin would be okay and maybe they would be able to re-establish some kind of normalcy in their lives. Maybe they would be able to forget how close they had been to losing everything.

How _close_ they had been to losing everything. They had to remember that…the good side of this: that they hadn't lost anyone, not even any of the kidnappers. And that was good. The kidnappers would do their time, the Intelligence Unit would track down the killers and the world would keep spinning.

"Sir."

Jay turned his head, wondering how long she'd been calling his name. "Sorry." He said, smiling. He looked down at her, but she was staring at the computer screen, her smile had vanished.

"It's alright." She said softly, "Just to clarify…you were asking about Kevin Briggs, correct?"

Jay nodded.

The nurse looked down at the screen again, "Mr. Briggs was admitted to the hospital with all the other victims, it appears he was in critical condition and went into surgery. The surgeons did everything they could, but he passed away from complications a few hours ago."

And just like that, the "good side" of the situation that he had been thinking about just seconds earlier, was gone. They had lost someone, Erin had lost someone that Jay knew was extremely important to her and he had to be the one to go tell her.

He shook his head, mumbled a thank you to the nurse and turned, without looking at Severide. He walked back over to Erin's door and watched as Olinsky went in and Ruzek came out. He nodded to Ruzek and then waited outside the door, trying to prepare himself for the crushing news he would be giving out in a few minutes.

* * *

This wasn't the first time she'd felt grief.

She couldn't count the number of times she'd been immersed in situations just like this. She'd lost her father to jail before she'd even gotten the chance to know him. She'd lost her mother in more ways than one. She'd lost aunts, uncles, one of her cousins, her grandfather and a few friends, all before she'd turned 18.

She'd felt grief before.

To her, it felt like an ocean. It completely immersed and pulled her under. She felt like she couldn't breathe, she felt like she couldn't move and she just sank. Slowly, she fell deeper and deeper into sadness. Every time she felt like she hit the bottom, she would find herself sinking deeper until it felt like it was endless.

The ocean, the grief, swallowed her whole.

She stood in front of the coffin.

The funeral was scheduled to start in a few more hours, but she came early to help Kevin's dad prepare, but instead, she'd gravitated straight for the closed coffin, ready to be lowered into the ground. She stared down at it, imagining Kevin, fully dressed in a tuxedo probably, lying peacefully inside.

He was gone. It was shocking to her how people could just be gone like that, done, their lives ended. It terrifying how quickly and unexpectedly it had happened.

"Hey." She heard from behind her, but she didn't turn. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jay walk up next to her.

She kept her eyes glued to the coffin, "Hey." She replied softly. She could tell Jay didn't know what to say. A few moments passed and then finally, he spoke.

"You really cared about him, huh?" Jay looked down at the coffin and didn't wait for her to answer, "What was he like?"

She looked over at Jay.

"Kevin." He specified, "What was he like? I never got the chance to meet him."

Erin didn't say anything for a moment and then she smiled, looking down, "He had a huge heart. He was the kind of guy who would give his last dollar to someone else or say something that would make your day." She smirked, "You would have liked him. He had the same sense of humor as you." She shook her head, "It's just sad that we lost touch. I thought we were going to be close forever and then eleven years went by."

"It's normal to lose touch." Jay said, trying to console her.

Erin nodded, "I know. I just never thought to call and check on him. He fell back into our old crowd, the drugs, the smuggling and I didn't even know." She shook her head, "And I know it wasn't my responsibility to know or to call, but it's just sad."

Jay looked over at her, "I know." He said, unable to think of anything better.

Erin didn't care. What he said didn't matter, just the fact that he was there standing next to her was enough. She stared down at the shiny coffin and saw her reflection. She took in a deep breath, "They asked me to say something today."

Jay nodded. "Are you going to?"

"I'm going to try." Erin said, looking up at him, "How do you come up with something to say?" She shrugged, "I mean, we deal with death all the time, but not like this. It's one thing to tell complete strangers they've lost their son, it's another thing to stand in front of a room full of people that knew and loved someone and tell them how you feel, you know?"

Jay nodded slowly, "I know whatever you say is going to be great. I mean, Kevin was your friend. You know how all those people are feeling, you know what to say."

"I want to find him."

Jay turned, "What?"

"I want to find Chavez." The controlled anger in her voice was clear.

Jay was surprised by that change in subject. He looked over at her, "You know what happened. Internal affairs took the case because it was 'too personal' to us. We have to work on the cases at hand and try to find him on our free time."

"I want to find him, Jay."

Jay took in a breath, "Erin, your hand…" He started, "It hasn't healed yet. You have to get re-certified to carry a gun, you aren't supposed to come back to work for another week. This is too much, too fast." He insisted.

Erin glanced down at the cast around her hand. She looked at the scars that weren't concealed by the soft cast. Those scars were permanent. They would fade, but would never be completely gone. Chavez had marked her, he had taken one of her friends and it was his turn to pay. "I'll do it with or without you." She said, "But I have to find him."

Jay didn't like the tone of her voice. Maybe it was desperation, maybe anger. Either way, he wasn't sure that was a good enough reason for her to drop everything and pursue the man who had done this to her. But he really didn't want her to do it alone, "I'll make a deal with you."

She didn't say anything.

"Wait one week. Your re-certification is next week, right? By then, you'll have a gun again, you'll be further along in your recovery and we'll be able to dive headfirst into the case." Jay said, "Just one week and you and me, we'll find him."

Erin didn't want to agree to that. But she knew that it was probably for the best. She needed Jay's help with this and the only way she was going to get it was by going along with his terms. "Deal." She said before looking up at him, "Thanks Jay. You've been great through all of this. And I know it hasn't been easy and I haven't really made it that easy, but you stuck around so thank you."

Jay smiled over at her, "Your damn right, I stuck around." He put his arm around her, "I'm here for you, alright?" He squeezed her.

Erin nodded, cracking a smile, "Yea. Thanks for that."

The next hour consisted mostly of putting out chairs, exchanging soft hellos and stories about Kevin before everyone took their seats and sat in silence, listening to the melodies of the piano player in the back of the room.

Mr. Briggs sat in the front pew, his head down. He looked so skinny and shaken, like this death was tearing him apart. It probably was. Kevin was his only son. He'd lost his wife a few years ago, that boy was all he had. And they had been close too. As close as a father and son could be.

He was the first one to stand up, after the priest, and speak. He struggled to find words in the beginning, the sadness and grief was visible on his face. "When I was 24 and my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, the first thing I did was panic. I thought I wasn't ready. I thought being a father was something I couldn't handle. The feeling it continued all throughout the pregnancy until finally, she went into labor. I waited seven hours until finally I got to hold our baby boy in my arms. He was big too, Kevin was born a large baby, and the moment I picked him up I knew that I was ready. To be a father, to care for my new-born son, to take on the responsibility of another person. I was ready. From that moment on, I loved that boy. I loved Kevin. He was such a good kid, got into some trouble here and there, eventually got mixed up into the wrong crowd, but he was still a good kid. His heart…was just so pure and good, I swear, to this day, I haven't seen one like it and I doubt I ever will. I am so proud of my boy, he was brave up until the moment he died, I just know it. And I know he's in a better place now and I have to believe that I'll see him again one day." He paused, "I loved that boy. Kevin, I loved him. And I still do. I probably always will."

Ending with that, he turned away from the podium and slowly stepped off the stage, a soft round of applause following his exit. The priest stepped up to the mike, "And now I believe a friend of Kevin's, Erin Lindsay, would like to say a few words."

Erin stood up and immediately felt all of their eyes on her, all of their tear-filled eyes staring up at her, looking to her for words and reasons. She stepped up to the stage and stood in front of the podium, immediately locking eyes with Jay in the audience. She felt comfortable looking at him, she felt comfortable just talking to him.

"I met Kevin Briggs when I was 14 years old. The day I met him, the day I talked to him for the very first time, he saved my life…in more ways than one. I had been struggling to find myself and Kevin helped me to find my way. Countless times when I had been in danger, Kevin helped me or saved me. He saved my life too many times to count. And to this day, that is what I will remember about Kevin: he never gave up on friends. So many times, I'd been off the rails, ready to spiral, but he'd just pull me back on track. He truly always looked out for other people before himself. He was kind, he was generous, he gave much more than he got. I think he was a hero." Erin took in a deep breath, "And god, I'm gonna miss him. Before a few weeks ago, it had been eleven years since I'd talked to Kevin. I lost touch. And the moment I finally talked to him again and finally started to connect with him again, he was just gone. It's amazing the kind of perspective you get from an experience like that." She paused, "The way I see it is this: Life can change in an instant. One minute a person is there, the next, they're gone. But Kevin, he wouldn't want us to dwell on the instant that ended his life, he would want us to remember the years that made up his life, the memories, the laughs, the cries, the scares, everything that made him great. To me, there is a time to mourn, there is a time to laugh, there is a time to grieve and deny and bargain, but today I say we make time to celebrate. Because Kevin, he lived a life that at least deserves that much."


	12. Patiently Waiting

It was a knock at the door that woke her up. It was loud and slow, not exactly giving her a sense of urgency to get out of her bed. Her hand was throbbing, as it usually did in the mornings when the medication she'd taken before bed was wearing off. Her hand, her arm, her side, everything hurt. She rolled over to the edge of her bed before swinging her legs over the side and slowly, without using her arms, stood.

She shuffled across her floor, not caring how rough and sluggish she probably looked. Looking down at her hand, which was still heavily bandaged, she made her way to the door. A loud knock came just as she was walking up.

"Coming." She said and abruptly, the knocking stopped when it heard her. Slowly, with her good hand, she pulled the door open only to find Kelly standing on the other side, donuts in one hand and a tray of coffee in the other.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up, but I brought presents."

Erin smiled and took the box of donuts out of his hand, "I guess you can come in, this time." She said with a smirk, "What are you even doing up? It is way too early for this, don't you have the day off?" She asked, squinting.

"As a matter of fact, I do, but I wanted to get an early head start hanging out with you." Kelly said as he leaned against her counter, "So what do you want to do today?" He asked, "We could...go to the pier or see a movie or stay in and watch a movie…" He trailed off, raising his eyebrows.

Erin rolled her eyes, "Down boy." She said, "Let me eat my breakfast and then we'll talk." She said, smiling.

Kelly nodded, "How's the hand doing?" He gestured to the bandage around it.

Erin looked down at it and smiled, "Took my recertification yesterday and passed so they say I'm set to carry a gun again, but I'm not officially cleared to go back to work yet. I'm thinking another week and a half…" She shrugged, "My hand feels good though. It still hurts to touch things without having the bandage on because I guess the skin is still healing, but every day is better."

"I'm glad." Kelly said, a big smile on his face. "I heard IA has been working on your case. Have you heard any news?"

Erin nodded, "Voight says they don't have anything. I don't know, I'm getting a little bit antsy, but things will probably work out." She said with a shrug.

Kelly nodded and rubbed her arm, "Yea they will…" He said as he read her body language. Her lowered gaze, the way she tapped her finger against the side of the coffee cup. He leaned towards her, "You're not thinking about doing anything, are you?"

Erin shook her head.

"You're thinking about doing something!" Kelly shook his head, "Erin, you have to let the police handle this. Trust me, I know this from experience. When my sister was missing, I intervened…"

Erin looked up, "And you got results." She finished as she set her coffee cup down, "Look, I'm not looking to go chase down Chavez on my own, I just want to talk to some of my CI's and get some leads because IA definitely isn't."

Kelly looked at her for a long time, "Okay…well just be careful, alright?"

Erin smiled and rolled her eyes, "You don't have to worry about me." She said with a shrug.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. She and Kelly went out and saw a movie that neither of them really enjoyed, but it was nice for Erin to get out of the house. After that, they ordered Chinese food and ate it in her apartment. But Kelly had to leave for his shift at around 5, which was perfect for Erin.

She called Jay at 5:15, her message short. But he knew what they were doing. They'd planned it weeks ago.

He arrived at her apartment around 5:30. He didn't smile when she let him in, "It's cold out there." He said, letting his hood down. A few flakes of snow fell to her floor, "Are you sure you want to do this…tonight?"

Erin shot him a look, "I've been waiting weeks. I want to do it tonight." She said as she put on a scarf and some gloves, "It's not like what we're doing is illegal or even dangerous. We're just going out, alright?" She said, "You have your badge on you?"

"No."

Erin nodded, "Good." She picked up a wad of cash, "Let's go then." She said as she shoved her hands into her pockets and exited the apartment, locking the door once they were both out. They walked outside in silence, both thinking about what they were about to do. Like always, Erin took the driver's seat, and Jay, the passenger's.

"Can I ask who we're going to see?"

Erin glanced over as she drove, "An old friend. Her name is Patsy, well that's the name she goes by, I have no idea what her real name is. I met her when I was with Charlie, we've kept in touch, she's one of my best CI's, her brother is a dealer, along with most of the people she runs with." She paused, "And not small-time street dealers either, these guys are the real deal and Patsy said she could get you and I in. I told her we weren't going to say we were cops and she said she'd play along with whatever."

"You sure you can trust her?"

Erin looked over at Jay, "Nope, but we're going to have to."

Jay gave her a surprised look, "Why? Why can't we just _talk _to some CI's? Maybe during the daytime, maybe in a public place with _witnesses._" He said, unsure what was going through Erin's head to want to do something like this.

They stopped at a red light and Erin turned to Jay, "Listen. You can't trust anyone on the streets, Jay. You have the people you don't trust, the people you think you can trust, and the people you really trust. But they all betray you." She paused, "So you watch your own back, you look out for yourself and you'll be fine. And that's what Patsy is thinking too. She's looking out for herself. If we show up, saying we're Mary Sue and Tom and then she tells them we're cops, they'll think she's a rat." Erin took in a deep breath, "That's how I know she won't stab us in the back."

Jay nodded slowly, "Alright." He looked over at her, "Alright, fine. I'm in, but I don't like it."

Erin smirked and continued to drive.

"Who are we saying we are?" Jay asked after a few minutes of silence. He wanted to make sure they were on the same page before they went walking into this place, claiming to be two completely different people.

Erin shrugged, "I'm gonna say Mary."

Jay smirked, remembering the story when Voight had first met Erin and she'd told him that her name was Mary, he wondered if there was any significance to that, but he didn't dare bring it up just yet. He rubbed his chin, "I'll be James."

Erin looked over at him, "James, that's creative." She said sarcastically.

Jay shot her a look, "Because yours is so much more creative than mine."

Erin smirked, "You didn't even change the first letter, Jay. You didn't even change the first two letters. I mean, for God's sakes, Jay is a nickname for James, you basically just picked the same name." She said, shaking her head.

Jay shook his head, "Well what do you want to call me then? Something crazy like Xavier? I mean, if you want to be creative, then let's get creative. What about Dominick? Or Fletcher?" He said, still shaking his head.

"Fine, I see your point." Erin took in a deep breath, "How about David?"

Jay shrugged, "Fine."

Erin smirked and stared forward, "And we're going with our same old story we always use. We're a couple, I am about to head off to rehab and we're both in need of a fix before I leave." She said, biting her lip. "We just need to get in, talk about buying coke and then bring up Chavez, how he was our usual dealer until he ripped us off. We're wondering if they know where we can find him so we can get some of our money back."

Jay nodded slowly, looking out the window, going over the story in his head and all the possible situations that they could get into. He didn't like the fact that they were going in blind and alone.

"Nervous?" Erin asked, glancing at him.

Jay shrugged, "Just don't know what to expect."

Erin nodded slowly, "Well we just have to keep an eye out for each other and we'll be fine."

Jay raised his eyebrows, "How do I know I can trust you?" He asked with a shrug, "What if you're driving me all this way just so you can get rid of me?" He shook his head, "It's the perfect crime…"

Erin let out a soft chuckle, "That's definitely what I'm going to do. I'm gonna drive you all the way out of the city, kill you and then try to take on Chavez by myself. Smart, isn't it?" She asked sarcastically, smirking, "But really, Jay, don't worry. You can trust me, I got your back."

Jay nodded, smiling, "And I have yours." He paused for a moment and then looked at her, "We both go home, alright? This isn't gonna turn into some rogue mission that ends in both of us dying in some warehouse somewhere, okay?" He paused, "We both go home." He said.

And Erin nodded.

After that, it took them 10 more minutes to arrive at a bar on the Southwest side of Chicago. It was called Cove Lounge. It was pretty big bar, pretty well-known, but it didn't matter. They weren't going to the bar, what Patsy had told Erin was that the thin, three story "pawnshop" next door was where they needed to go. It was pawn shop on the first floor, but on the next two, it moonlighted as a gambling center and a place to get a fix.

She clutched the wad of money in her pocket as she walked up towards the building, "Keep anything you want safe in your hand, or else it'll be gone by the end of the night." She told Jay, both her hands in her pockets.

Jay shrugged, he didn't have anything important with him, not even his phone. He didn't see a reason he'd need it so he left it in the car. "You ready to do this, Mary?" He asked, a smirk on his face.

"As ready as you are, David." She looked up towards the building, a chill going down her spine. Glancing back at Jay, she pushed the door to the pawn shop open. As they walked in, someone from the back of the shop called out to them.

"Sorry, we're closed."

Erin saw a man behind the counter, he didn't even look up to see who they were. She walked over to him, "We're here to see Patsy."

The man looked up from where he appeared to be counting up his profits from the day. His eyes narrowed, "I don't know a Patsy, you must have the wrong address, sorry." He said with a shrug.

"I'm an old friend of Patsy's. I'm sure if you went up there and told her that I was here, she'd tell you to let me up." Erin said forcefully, "And we're not leaving until we to talk to her."

The man gave her a long, angry look before shaking his head, "Wait here. Touch anything and I will call the police." He said before turning and walking into the back room, which probably lead up to the second floor.

Erin looked back at Jay, "They're probably watching us right now." She nodded sideways towards the security camera in the far corner of the room. She looked up at Jay and gave a nod before turning and looking around at some of the merchandise just to occupy herself.

It took about 10 minutes for the man to return, "Follow me." Was all he said.

Jay was immediately suspicious, he didn't like being lead somewhere that he didn't know by someone that he didn't know or trust, it just felt there were too many things left to chance. He liked being in control. He glanced at Erin.

But she didn't hesitate like he had. She followed right after the man, whose name they still didn't even know yet.

Seeing her follow the man, Jay followed too. He had to trust her judgment, especially when they were going in this deep to something that he didn't know much about.

The room they walked into was a mess, full of papers and file cabinets that were messy and unorganized. Towards the back of the room was a staircase. The man led them to the stairs, but stopped before going up. He pointed up, "Go on." He said, "Patsy is waiting."

Erin gave him a nod before walking up the stairs with Jay following closely behind. As they went up and he was so close behind her, he whispered, "I got your back, don't forget it." He decided to say.

Erin glanced backwards, trying not to smile. She stepped up the stairs, feeling Jay close behind her. When they reached the top and emerged in a large room full of poker tables and gambling tables surrounded by men, Erin immediately picked out her friend. She lifted her hand and waved.

Jay looked up just in time to see the woman walking up. She was blonde and frighteningly thin, he assumed it was probably from drug use. She gave Erin a quick hug, her arms like sticks. She looked at Jay, "Who's this?"

Erin glanced back at him.

"I'm James." The moment he said it, he remembered they'd decided to change it. He glanced at Erin, silently cursing, just like he knew she probably was too. He shoved his hands into his pockets.

Patsy nodded slowly, "You guys need to work on that."

Erin nodded and shot a look back at Jay, "I thought we agreed on David."

Jay bit his lip and nodded, "Yea, sorry, I forgot and I messed it up, but I'll remember next time. David, that's what we're going with." He said with conviction.

But Erin shook her head, "No. You know what? We're just gonna go with James to be safe, alright?" She paused, "You win." She added with a small smile, "Now come on. This time isn't a practice. We have to get it right, if not, just improvise."

"Sounds good to me." Jay said with a nod.

Erin then looked at Patsy, "Alright we're set. Is Mark here?" She glanced back at Jay when Patsy turned, looking through the room, "Mark is her brother. He doesn't know who I am and he's the leader of this whole…ring." She explained in a whisper.

Patsy squinted, "Must be upstairs." She said casually, "Follow me." She turned around and started walking through the room, weaving through the tables and absent-minded men, trying to win back their money. There was another staircase at the far end of the room with a rope blocking it off and a man standing guard. He opened it when he saw Patsy, but eyed Jay and Erin, "They're with me." Patsy said quickly.

The man nodded slowly and watched them go up, his gaze harsh.

They walked up the next flight of stairs, the noise fading as they went up. From what they could hear, the third floor was much quieter, the only voices belonging to what sounded like a 5 or 10 different men and a few women.

Patsy lead them up confidently.

The room they reached at the top of the stairs was a large flat space with hardwood floors and large, beautiful windows that displayed the night lights of the Chicago skyscrapers. There was a bar to their left and a pool table to their right. Directly in the middle was a large poker table. A 20 person poker table with two other wooden tables on either side of the poker table.

Erin counted 8 men sitting at the poker table and one woman standing nearby, while 2 other women and 3 other men sat at one of the wooden tables. That was a total of 13 people, plus Patsy, so 14. On the third wooden table where no one was sitting, there was a large black bag sitting on the top. They had to assume it was either filled with drugs, weapons or money.

Half the men turned around when they heard Patsy's large heels clunking against the hardwood floor. One of the men was Patsy's brother, Mark. She'd seen him before in pictures and once in person, but there was no way he remembered her and even if he did, it was during her teenage years so it didn't matter anyway.

"Who're they?" Mark asked, eyeing Jay and Erin in the same manner that the security guard had.

Patsy glanced back at them, "They were down on the first floor. They asked to come up here and when Paul denied it, they said they wouldn't leave without going up." She said with a shrug.

Mark smirked, "Ballsy." He said as he stood up and walked over to them, "What did you say their names were again?" He stared down at Erin.

"I'm Mary." Erin said, looking up at Mark, and so Jay didn't mess it up, she turned towards him, "And this is James." She added, pointing back at him, "I'm going into rehab next week and we could both use a hit before then."

"Could you now?" Mark leaned down towards her and smirked.

Erin didn't like the way he was looking at her. His eyes scanned down her body in an excruciating, uncomfortable way. He was also standing abnormally close, a smile displayed on his face. She tried to make eye contact with him, but she basically had to force herself.

Jay didn't like the way he was looking at her either. It was sleezy and gross and blatantly obvious that he was thinking of her in an inappropriate way so Jay stepped up, "Yea, we could." He said confidently, "Show him the money." He nudged Erin.

Looking up, Erin pulled the wad of cash out of her pocket.

Secretly, Jay wondered where that wad had come from. He knew that he didn't have that kind of money just lying around and he was pretty sure she didn't have that money lying around either. But he could have been wrong.

"What happened here?" Mark asked, touching the bandage on the hand she was holding the money in. He looked down and saw a bandage on her other arm too. He raised his eyebrows, truly curious. He assumed it had something to do with drugs.

Erin looked down, "Burns." She said, "I was so messed up last week that I grabbed a pan directly out of the oven without even realizing how hot it was. Didn't go to the hospital until the next day, almost third degree." She shook her head.

Mark smirked and nodded, "Yea, trust me I feel you. I swear sometimes I'm so high that I think I'm invincible or something." He pointed to the long scar running along his jaw. It was barely noticeable unless you were looking for it, "Broke my jaw."

Erin shook her head, "Yea…" Her smile faded, "It's all fun and games…" She touched one of her bandages, "Until it's not."

Mark nodded in agreement. "Follow me." He said.

Jay, in order to make sure that the weird, sexual stares that Mark was giving Erin would stop, put his arm around her sloppily, squeezing her shoulders. "See I told you we'd get a fix, what did I tell you?" He smiled.

Mark glanced back at them, "You're looking for some H, right?"

Erin nodded.

"I pegged you for that kind of girl." He said with a smile as he walked to one of the cabinets behind the bar, "So you guys have been having some trouble scoring around here? I mean, I'm more of a coke dealer myself just because it's so easy to find dope in this city."

Erin shook her head, "We weren't having trouble. We had a regular dealer, but then last week, he completely ripped us off, took our money and everything…apparently, he's having some kind of run-in with the cops, needs to get out of town." She rolled her eyes.

"Who?" Mark asked, curious.

Erin glanced at Jay, "Chavez. I don't know if you know him. Apparently, his brother got taken in by the cops for kidnapping or something like that."

"Kidnapped a cop, didn't he?"

Jay looked up, "How'd you know?"

Mark shrugged, "I like to keep tabs on my competitors. See, I don't see this as an inconvenience. For me, it's an advantage. People think Chavez is wrapped up with the cops, more business for me. I mean, isn't that why you're here?"

Erin nodded earnestly. "Yea, well…we just really need a fix, like tonight." She said, rubbing her hands together, "And then tomorrow, we're gonna go back to Chavez and try to get our money's worth…" She shook her head.

"Yea, except he's disappeared. Can't find him anywhere." Jay complained.

Mark rubbed his chin, "Hmmm…let me ask around real quick, I might have some guys around here who'll know where he went." He walked around the side of the bar over to the large group of men, waiting by the table.

"Can we get some drinks?" Erin called to him as he walked away.

Mark nodded, "Help yourself." He said over his shoulder.

Erin walked behind the bar, Jay following. "Block me." She whispered. And when she felt him standing behind her, blocking her from the view of the men at the other end of the room, she bent over and started opening cabinets and drawers, searching. She found bills, heroine, some crack, a little bit of weed, but nothing really that helpful.

Jay was watching Mark as he went through his men. He started to prepare a drink for himself and Erin, he put a small amount of alcohol in it. The last thing they needed was to end up drunk in this place with no backup. He saw Mark talking to one guy and after a few moments, they pointed at Erin and Jay.

Jay leaned over to Erin, "Looks like we got a bite." He said between his teeth.

Erin nodded ever so slightly without saying anything. She stood back up and turned around, standing next to Jay. She watched Mark as he talked to the other men. It seemed like it was taking a lot of time, whatever he was saying to them. She glanced at Jay, slightly concerned.

When she looked back, Mark was staring at her, along with a second person in the group, both of them eyes wide. She'd been recognized. By who? She wasn't sure. She recognized the guy's face, but couldn't think of a name. She froze.

Jack.

That was his name. She'd met him once very briefly at a party. She was surprised she remembered it…she'd been so high, probably drunk too, everything was pretty much a blur. But she remembered meeting Jack.

Mark and Jack stepped towards them.

"We gotta go." Erin said suddenly.

Jay, completely lost, had no idea that anything was wrong. "What?" He asked, looking around for a potential threat. All he saw was Mark walking back towards them with one of his friends so he really had no idea what Erin was talking about.

Erin grabbed the sleeve of Jay's jacket tightly in her hand and in the next split second, chaos broke out. Out of nowhere, she took off, still clutching Jay's jacket sleeve, pulling him out from behind the bar. Erin was headed for the stairs, but as they approached, Patsy stood in the way.

"I can't let you go, I'm sorry…" Patsy said, her voice eerily calm.

But Erin wasn't about to listen to her. She stared at Patsy for a moment and saw Mark and Jack approaching them from the left side. She waited a few extra seconds and then, when she was sure they were close enough, she grabbed the frail Patsy by the arms and swung her around, shoving her into Mark and Jack.

That briefly slowed them down, giving Jay and Erin enough time to start down the stairs. When they were reaching the bottom, they heard a stampede of footsteps coming after them. The room was crowded now, at the height of its activity. They needed to hide, to blend in.

"Bathroom?" Jay suggested.

Erin nodded and, still clutching his sleeve, she took off for the bathroom. They both entered the girl's bathroom, not really caring about consideration in that moment. When they ran in, all of the stalls were full except for one so both Jay and Erin crammed into that stall.

"Get on the toilet." Jay said quickly.

Erin wondered what it sounded like they were doing to the other girls in the bathroom. She almost wanted to smile if she wasn't so nervous about being caught. Slowly, she stepped carefully onto the toilet.

Jay stepped up after her, inches away. "Sorry." He whispered, "It's kind of cramped."

Erin looked down, "Don't slip." She whispered, smirking a little bit.

"Really?" Jay shook his head, hands on both sides of the stall to steady himself, "Really? Right now, Erin?" He asked, sarcastically as he looked down at the toilet.

That same moment, they both heard the bathroom door open and close. It could have been just another person from the party, looking to use the bathroom, but when they heard the hard clunking of heels on the bathroom floor, they both knew it was Patsy.

Behind him, Jay felt Erin's breathing speed up. Carefully, he reached backwards and grabbed her wrist (her un-bandaged wrist) in his hand and squeezed lightly, hoping that would offer some kind of reassurance.

They watched in silence as her heels slowly edged past their stall.

Twice.

Neither of them moved, they didn't dare because they knew if they got caught, they probably wouldn't make it out alive.

It seemed like forever before Patsy finally walked out of the bathroom. When she was gone, Erin and Jay could breathe freely. He let go of her wrist and stepped off the toilet. He held out his hand and helped her off, even though he was sure she probably didn't need it. "So what now?" He asked.

"Make a break for it?" Erin suggested with a shrug.

Jay bit his lip, "Run or try to blend through the crowd?"

Erin ran her hand through her hair, "Run, probably. I doubt will blend in if all 14 of them are looking for us in that crowd." She said, opening the stall. She grabbed his wrist, "Don't let go of me though, okay? We go out together."

Jay nodded, "Don't let go of me either." He replied.

Erin smiled and then looked at him one more time, taking in a deep breath before slowly pushing the bathroom door open. As they walked out, they didn't see anyone at first and for a moment, for one moment, Erin actually thought they might be able to blend in and make their way out.

That was until she saw Mark walking through the crowd towards them, eyes blazing.

Erin turned and started running, Jay directly behind her. They weaved through the crowd and tables, not concerned with the people they were bumping and knocking over. They shoved their way through until they got to the stairs, only to find it blocked by two men.

"You take left, I got right." Erin said quickly.

Jay nodded and ran towards the guy on the left. He bent over, getting low so that when he went in for the tackle, he actually had enough leverage to take the large guy to the ground. Once he was down, Jay bent over him and punched him twice in the face before quickly getting to his feet.

Erin took a move straightforward-ish…approach. Reaching over one of the men playing poker, she grabbed the half-full bottle of wine sitting next to him, feeling the thick glass in her hand, and then ran up to her opponent and swung. The bottle collided with the side of his head and broke into pieces, splashing wine all over him and Erin. He fell to his knees immediately afterwards.

That gave Erin and Jay room to rush down the stairs, Mark and some others still close on their trail. They ran down the stairs, through the pawn shop and out the front door. The moment they ran out into the cold night air there was a moment of hesitation as they tried to decide which way to go.

"Right, right." Erin said quickly, pulling him to the right. They ran that direction and then when they spotted an alley they ran down it. There was a fence blocking the end though, cornering them in. So, as quickly as they could, they climbed over it.

Erin went first, Jay giving her a boost to the top. He followed shortly afterwards and they ran down the rest of the alley to the back of all the stores/apartment buildings. They stopped when they found a dumpster and hid behind that for at least 20 minutes. After that, they were sure that the guys had to be gone or had given up.

"That was close." Erin said breathlessly.

Jay shook his head and gave her an incredulous look, "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

Erin smiled and gave a shrug, "I _thought _you would be able to keep up." She said jokingly, "I mean, you'd think with all those trips to the gym…"

Jay shook his head as he wiped off some snow from his jacket, "This isn't funny." He said, even though he was smiling, "I'm cold and tired and all we got out of this was a scare and maybe couple bonding moments."

Erin tilted her head, "I think it was worth it." She said with a smile, "Especially the bonding moments."

"Okay, seriously, why are you so happy right now?" Jay asked, confused.

Erin smirked and rolled her eyes, "You didn't think I was going to walk out of there without the information I came for, did you?" She reached into her jacket and pulled out a manila folder labeled "Tabs".

Jay looked down at it.

"I took it out of one of the drawers." She said smiling, "You remember how he said he kept tabs on his competitors, well…this folder is full of all those tabs, in detail. Including Chavez." She told Jay.

He smiled, "So you didn't just do this to bond with me?" He asked.

Erin smiled and shook her head, clutching the manila folder in her hands, "No, that was just an added bonus, now come on. We should get home before we catch pneumonia or something like that." She said as she started to make her way towards the street.

Jay walked after her. He was silent for a few moments as they walked until a question came to his mind, one he had wondered earlier and now had the chance to actually talk to her about. "Can I ask you something?"

Erin glanced backwards, "Depends on what it is."

"The name." Jay said vaguely, "The name you picked, Mary, that's like your "go-to" name and I was just wondering if there was a reason…" He asked, his hands in his pockets.

Erin took in a deep breath, her smile fading. "Yea, there is a reason, but I don't know if you want to hear the story…" She trailed off and when she saw Jay nod, she continued. "When I was 14 and my mom was MIA, I pretty much just went wherever the wind blew. I used to…I used to walk up and down 37th street and beg. I was so hungry and tired... A lot of people just ignored me, but I didn't blame them. And…there was this one day, it was winter and I was living in and out of this shelter. And that day, I was sitting on this bench, freezing and hungry. And just stopped asking. They all ignored me…so I just sat there and hoped that I didn't die or that at least someone would miss me if I did. And then this lady walked up, asked me my name, I told her it was Erin and she nodded and said, "One day at a time, Erin." And then she handed me a bill. I figured it was probably a one or a five." She paused, "It was a fifty. A fifty dollar bill this woman gave me. When I looked up I caught a glimpse of her name tag before she walked away, Mary. I said thank you, told her she was a saint and never saw her again."

Jay looked over at Erin and saw the look, the look she got in her eyes when she talked about her past. It was a deep, sad look filled with regret and grief. He wanted to hug her or say something comforting, but he knew her too well to do either of those things. He knew she wouldn't want it, so he took a different approach.

"James…" Jay said slowly, "It wasn't random either."

Erin looked up.

Jay nodded with a small smile, "When I was serving overseas, we were working in the Middle East. It was hot and sandy and my unit, all of us guys, we became brothers." He paused, looking at the ground, "And then one of our own got taken. We had no idea where he went, but with hard work we finally, after like 3 or 4 days, we figured it out. He was supposedly in a house a few miles away from where we were. So we set out on a retrieval mission. We got to the house and went in. It was supposed to be quiet entrance, no one was supposed to know we were there, but the moment we walked in…this guy, I knew him, his name was Harry, he turned around and started shooting. Friendly fire. It was an ambush. Harry and the guy who'd gotten taken, they were both traitors. I barely made it out alive because me and another guy helped carry someone out who'd gotten shot." He sighed, "They tampered with the buggy we drove in on so we walked through the desert. Two days. We spend two days out there. The guy we carried out, he died the second night."

Erin stopped walking, now fully invested in his story. She'd never heard him talk about his time overseas before, ever.

Jay looked at her, "Do you know the sound that a guy makes when blood is leaking into his lungs? When he's drowning in his own blood and there's nothing you can do to help? Well I do, and sometimes, I can still hear it."

He shook his head, "James. That was the name of the guy that we thought had been taken, the one that led us into the ambush." He paused, "I use that name as a reminder, a reminder that I can only trust myself." He looked down at her.

Erin stared up at him, "Jay, I'm so sorry."

"And you."

Erin tilted her head, confused.

"I can only trust myself..." Jay paused, "And you." He added with a small smile.

Erin rubbed his arm, "I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me that story." She said softly, "And...I trust you too, Jay. God, I'd trust you with my life in an instant."

He didn't respond to her comment, just added, "I've never told anyone about it before." He said, letting out a sigh, "It feels good to get it off my chest and…I don't know, release it to another person."

Erin nodded, "I know what you mean." She stepped forward and embraced him. She couldn't help it. The way he'd told that story, how vulnerable he seemed, she just had to give him a hug.

Jay hugged her back, squeezing her tightly. He clutched the back of her jacket in his hand, trying to keep himself from descending into that dark place he always went when he thought about his time overseas. Clutching her jacket, squeezing her, knowing she was there, it helped more than he ever thought anything could.

After a few moments they pulled away, "Come on." Erin said softly, wiping a tear from her eye before it fell, "We should get home before the blizzard starts."

Jay nodded with a small smile and followed her towards the street.

A few minutes later, they were both getting in her car and starting on their way back to her apartment. When they got back, Jay would probably get in his car and leave, or stay for a while. And tomorrow, they would go over what was in the folder. That was the plan.

But sometimes life has a different plan.

Or sometimes people do.

Because while they drove and took their time making their way back to her apartment, both satisfied with the events of that night, there was someone back inside her apartment. He sat calmly on her couch, staring forward at a black TV screen, patiently waiting for them to return, patiently waiting to make his move, patiently waiting to get the revenge he craved.

Patience.

Serenity.

Controlled rage.

A little bit of insanity.

He sat there on her couch and twisted the knife between his fingers, just waiting to hear the unmistakable metallic sound of her keys as she slid them into the lock, the lock that had been surprisingly easy to pick with the expert tools he'd brought.

Patience.

Serenity.

Controlled rage.

A little bit of insanity.

A perfect storm, the perfect amount of ingredients to give him an advantage and to allow him to do what he had ultimately come to do:

Finish what he started.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey guys, I hope you like this chapter, it took me a long time to write it and I'm pretty proud of it. There's more to come, I have a good idea about where this is going, I just have to get those ideas down in chapters so just hang tight, I'll try to post more often.

How about that crossover episode though? It was a solid episode, Lindsay and Benson moments were the best and Voight and Benson moments, looks like there might be some attraction there... ;). I kind of wished there had been more Linstead moments and even a Lindseride moment. But I liked it. Lindsay's brother and the plot line were both intense. I hope they do that more often.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review.


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